Put the body in a 1970's Ford Pinto, turn on the left turn signal, then rear-end it with a truck.
Throw a backyard barbecue for the homeless of course.
2 million pounds?
Bribe the coroner.
"Looks like he stabbed himself in the head in a fit of despair"
Fly it out in the middle of nowhere and drop it in the gulf
OR take it to any one of any number of industrial plants that can have vats of crap that can totally melt a dude.
Or the pig farm idea.
or just take his watch and wallet and throw him in an alley behind a porn theatre/whacking booth
OR seal him in a drum and UPS his ass someplace
You opened the door to all of those fanciful ideas with the two million pounds...
But you really, really want to know the right answer? Assuming this isn't your house, the right answer is to leave the body right the **** alone, because behavior and forensics are the most important things, right? So by not fiddle-fucking with the body, you don't introduce more behavior, and you don't produce more forensics. Throw the knife in the incinerator of a random building, or trash it, or throw it in the ocean, wipe off anything you touched (or better yet, kill him someplace you use in common with about 30 other people).
What have they got? A dead guy with a hole in him.
They find your prints, your DNA, it's fine - they're supposed to.
The hardest crimes to solve are cold, senseless crimes. Crimes that could be anybody. Motive is the root of most murder investigation - forensics can then eliminate or confuse motive, so the key to a murder is not to be known to have motive. Failing that, you must obfuscate opportunity.
Bottom line, you need to have done your homework already!
And you should have used BJJ, not a knife.
Or you can use so many implements to slice him to pieces that they won't know what the **** you used.
I've always wondered about the RNC as a murder method. To wit RNC them and throw them in, say, the river. Distinguishable medically from (unassisted) drowning?
Originally Posted by JohnnyCache
Assuming of course that you're smarter than Rafiel Torre.
Yes (or so my limited knowledge says)
Originally Posted by PointyShinyBurn
Drowning = water in lungs
Not drowning = no water in lungs 'cause dead guys don't breathe
no, they can tell if someone was breathing or if water entered their lungs postmortem.
better to choke unconcious (but not dead) and throw them in a cholornated swimming pool to be found in the morning.
You put much more thought into this than I did.
Put the body into a plastic bag and seal it.
Buy a yacht/boat.
Sail out into the sea, bodybag on board, find an area with very deep water.
Must be remote so there will be no activity in the area where the body is dumped.
Tie something very heavy around the bodybag that will weigh it down so it will sink.
Clean yacht/boat off thoroughly.
Go back and collect money.
Become increasingly paranoid.