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  1. #41
    Crouching Philosopher, Hidden Philosopher supporting member
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    HI THERE HEATHEN, GOT A MOMENT?

    Here at Spruiking For God, we want to show you how Yahweh is 'The Only God You'll Need.'TM

    WANT PROOF?


    Zeus killed his father - God got to His son first!

    Egyptians had to die to see their Gods - you can see God in a taco!

    The Greeks were pansy-arsed faggots - God is womb-expanding *****-fucker!

    The Hindus have countless little deities - God is just plain God!


    God is the best choice for you and your family!

    CALL 1-800-SPRUIKINGFORGOD NOW!
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
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  2. #42
    Moleculo's Avatar
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    Dear SPRUIKINGFORGOD, my daughter wants a baby real bad but doesn't want to go to the time and mess of having actual sex with a sweaty teen boy.

    Is there any way you could arrange a divine porking? (preferably as she slumbers in the velvety contours of her vestal mattress)

  3. #43
    Crouching Philosopher, Hidden Philosopher supporting member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reese
    Dear SPRUIKINGFORGOD, my daughter wants a baby real bad but doesn't want to go to the time and mess of having actual sex with a sweaty teen boy.

    Is there any way you could arrange a divine porking? (preferably as she slumbers in the velvety contours of her vestal mattress)
    Done. I appeared to your little Danae as a glistening stream of semen.

    *smokes cigarette*
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
    click here to order on Amazon


  4. #44
    Moleculo's Avatar
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    You idiot! you impregnated my FOUR YEAR OLD???

  5. #45
    Crouching Philosopher, Hidden Philosopher supporting member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reese
    You idiot! you impregnated my FOUR YEAR OLD???
    Don't call your Lord an idiot. 'Idiot' is Greek, and I speak Hebrew (I had the New Testament translated). Plus, I'm actually very civic-minded.
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
    click here to order on Amazon


  6. #46
    Moleculo's Avatar
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    Little Danae is actually a bassett hound.

    All the puppies will be named Jesus.

  7. #47
    Crouching Philosopher, Hidden Philosopher supporting member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reese
    Little Danae is actually a bassett hound.

    All the puppies will be named Jesus.
    Jesus: sniffing out sinners since the year 1AD.

    "If you **** on the floor one more time I'll nail you to a cross."
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
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  8. #48
    Moleculo's Avatar
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    did your how to be funny kit break in the mail before it reached your mountain retreat?

  9. #49
    Crouching Philosopher, Hidden Philosopher supporting member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reese
    did your how to be funny kit break in the mail before it reached your mountain retreat?
    Fucking eBay.
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
    click here to order on Amazon


  10. #50

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    "Jesus, after training His crucifix defense for almost two thousand years, is ready to kick your asses. He won't fail this time... The Holy Bible Episode CCCXXXIII: Return of the Christ, now in Churches."

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