Your opinion please...

**kia21** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 3:24pm

I'm a female martial artist with about 12 years of training experience. I've always enjoyed sparring. I love both the competitive aspect and that it provides a safe atmosphere to practice technique. I just joined a new school, though, and had the opportunity to spar with the instructors this weekend. I wasn't really happy with the way that went and thought I'd pick your brains for how to best handle it.

I was taught to used controlled contact, but have sparred with people who hit hard before. No big deal. Some people just hit a little harder than I would during class, but provided they aren't trying to hurt me, I can handle it. What I didn't appreciate was that the instructors seem to be coming after me with MUCH more tenacity and harder contact than they were using on their own students (who are same rank as me) I felt like one of them was trying to show off and could accidentally hurt me. The other was trying definitely to show off, but had less control over his kicks so if I didn't block the stuff thrown at my head he would have really hurt me if he connected.

I just don't get what that was all about. I spoke to my old instructor about it and he thinks the instructors at the new place mistakenly think I'm pushing around his students and are trying to teach me a lesson. He said he knows my personality type and that I'd never do that, but that I should speak with the instructor to clear the air. I NOT being overly agressive in sparring at this place. In fact, its been quite the opposite. I've used super light contact, pulled kicks and punches and anything I've thrown to the head was with control and thrown to miss! So why would they come after me like that?

I'm a pretty humble martial artist so its not like they need to teach me some humilty or knock me off my pedistal. All I can think of is that they have the wrong idea of how I've been sparring in class or thought I could take it. If it was done with the intent to improve my fighting skills then that's one thing, but if it was just to show off then all they proven is that they can knock around a 5'4. 115 lbs. woman.

I don't know if I should speak with the instructor or not. I don't know if they just hit hard at this school and I've just misperceived the way I was treated or if this was something done to me personally. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be so my inclination is to let it be and see if it keeps happening. At the same time, though, I really like sparring and don't want to have to bow out of class because of this. I'm not going to let guys 2x my size use me as a kicking bag though.

Unfortunately I've signed a 1 yr contract with this place so I'm on the hook for the monthly rate whether I train there or not.

Any thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions?

**Devil** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 3:43pm

I'd give it another try before I made an issue of it. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Maybe (like you suggested) they thought you could handle it and were just trying to feel you out.

**Neildo** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 3:46pm

Start unapologetically hitting them really hard. Eventually they will fear you.

Might as well get the most out of your year.

**HwangJangLee** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 4:14pm

Different people are different, schools are different, i know girls in my class that take offense when not kicked hard, or when a guy goes easy on them, and alot of people take sparring as an ego trip, and in my class some of the people find it fun to go hard and flashy on students with less skill. I would just adress it with the students and the teacher, but you cant expect them to go to easy on you cause then you wont learn any thing.

**BackFistMonkey** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 4:32pm

Originally Posted by Neildo

Start unapologetically hitting them really hard. Eventually they will fear you.

Might as well get the most out of your year.

amen ...

If they can give they better take as well . Stop being uber respectfull and return some just as hard . Hapkido should be trained hard anyways .. it really helps to weed out the bullshit techniques .

**Matsufubu** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 7:34pm

If it goes on for much longer, speak respectfully with the instructor and say what you've said here. They may view a competent female martial artist as a threat and so they need to put you in your place. Just make sure that you don't sound a sissy.

If you keep doing what you've always done, then you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

And contracts like that suck.

**Yrkoon9** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 10:59pm

1st - at a new school they always want to test you. That means pushing you to your limits. Sounds like they found yours.

2nd - sparring intensity is difficult to convey over the internet. If you are used to touch sparring and they are used to punching you in the face sparring than your initial shock is something we all went through.

3rd you signed a contract. Which was a huge mistake. Don't ever do that crap. Unless it is like a 3mo thing where you pay for 2 and get the 3rd free for a trial period or something.

Anyways - suck it up and bang with them. Tough chicks are hawt~

**Fnord325** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 11:44pm

Go with your gut. If you saw what was happening to somebody else and were observing class for the first time, what would you have thought?

Signing the contract was not the best idea. Getting injured over these jackasses egos is NOT the way to go. You are outnumbered and the advantage is theirs.

I do agree that you should go once more and compare. However, if it is a true case of assholes, then talking to the instructor won't do you much good, as he/she probably fosters that atmosphere. See if the contract has a 30 day clause or some sort of out, then get to a real school.

**Moleculo** · Posted On: 4/24/2006 11:59pm

My opinion is to quit that damn Hapkido and train in muay thai.

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 4/25/2006 1:19am

Originally Posted by kia21

I'm a female martial artist with about 12 years of training experience. I've always enjoyed sparring. I love both the competitive aspect and that it provides a safe atmosphere to practice technique. I just joined a new school, though, and had the opportunity to spar with the instructors this weekend. I wasn't really happy with the way that went and thought I'd pick your brains for how to best handle it.

I was taught to used controlled contact, but have sparred with people who hit hard before. No big deal. Some people just hit a little harder than I would during class, but provided they aren't trying to hurt me, I can handle it. What I didn't appreciate was that the instructors seem to be coming after me with MUCH more tenacity and harder contact than they were using on their own students (who are same rank as me) I felt like one of them was trying to show off and could accidentally hurt me. The other was trying definitely to show off, but had less control over his kicks so if I didn't block the stuff thrown at my head he would have really hurt me if he connected.

I just don't get what that was all about. I spoke to my old instructor about it and he thinks the instructors at the new place mistakenly think I'm pushing around his students and are trying to teach me a lesson. He said he knows my personality type and that I'd never do that, but that I should speak with the instructor to clear the air. I NOT being overly agressive in sparring at this place. In fact, its been quite the opposite. I've used super light contact, pulled kicks and punches and anything I've thrown to the head was with control and thrown to miss! So why would they come after me like that?

I'm a pretty humble martial artist so its not like they need to teach me some humilty or knock me off my pedistal. All I can think of is that they have the wrong idea of how I've been sparring in class or thought I could take it. If it was done with the intent to improve my fighting skills then that's one thing, but if it was just to show off then all they proven is that they can knock around a 5'4. 115 lbs. woman.

I don't know if I should speak with the instructor or not. I don't know if they just hit hard at this school and I've just misperceived the way I was treated or if this was something done to me personally. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be so my inclination is to let it be and see if it keeps happening. At the same time, though, I really like sparring and don't want to have to bow out of class because of this. I'm not going to let guys 2x my size use me as a kicking bag though.

Unfortunately I've signed a 1 yr contract with this place so I'm on the hook for the monthly rate whether I train there or not.

Any thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions?

Rose, if you feel that their lack of control is putting you at risk of injury, you should tell the head instructor that, and ask him to step in. While I do not say this lightly if they are honestly training in an unsafe manner and you cannot get them to change that would potentially serve as a basis for breaching your contract with the school, but you would need to talk to a lawyer in your home state and set up such an exit carefully. For example having someone who is skilled in the martial arts watch one of these classes so he can confirm your statements, and a paper trail for your complaint to the head instructor if he does not listen to your first oral complaint.