Thread: playing the fool
4/19/2006 4:26am, #1
playing the fool
I know they had a thread similar to this in the manhugging forum so in an attempt to be cool like them (and to get some actual posts in this forum) I thought I would steal the idea.
so its like this. stories of stupid **** you have done/seen in class. stories of fighting/sparring where you did something ridiculous to a noob, or got owned because you are a noob (bonus points for self humiliation)
I have a few of these-
Was sparring with a newb. well built guy, but still a newb, so i was relaxing out. thought i would cruise with this guy because the only other guys sparring that night were big motherfuckers. i was letting this guy hit me, trying to get him to come forward when out of nowhere he lands probably the most painful liver shot i have ever felt and floored me. hilarity ensues and he says sorry, he didnt realise i was a noob too. sux2beme.
redeemer story- was training at our city gym. after going a few rounds with everyone in the room who had a title i thought it was break time and gave the nod to one of the newbies. tall lanky guy who seemed scared as hell to be there and was incredibly tense. i went soft on him for a bit until he landed a teep to my face on me at the end of the first round, then grinned like he was the king of **** hill. oh no you didnt ************.
Spent the next few minutes in an orthodox stance (im a southpaw usually) giving this kid the fucking hiding of his life using just a jab and lead hook in a stance i never use. also cranked out a hook kick from my kung fu days to slap him across the face. paybacks a bitch.
LET SHARING COMMENCE
4/19/2006 7:38am, #2
can't really help ya... Not much stupid **** goes down at my gym. coach doesn't really allow horsing around.
I suck at jumping rope. A lot. every class is 4 rounds of me (6'4" 300lbs) flailing around. Think starwars kid.You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.
4/19/2006 8:24am, #3
I hate people that show no dedication to improving and always act like **** while sparring. Just stopping when they get hit and even laughing and saying **** like "woah, teehee". I was sparring against one of those chumps and after schooling him for a few minutes and listening to him whine like a bitch everytime I hit him I got so annoyed that I did a Bruce Lee style sidekick and pushed him, he fell backwards on another student. I laughed.
4/19/2006 3:21pm, #4
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
One training (PTK) we where doing push-kicks, just light, against our partners abs. I was training with my instructor and well. my legs got tired and I kicked him in the balls. Oh well, after a bit of groaning and so he gets back up and we continue. And ehm... two minutes later I kicked him in the balls again. He was not a happy camper after that...
4/19/2006 3:44pm, #5
Hahahahah....at a Richard Bustillo seminar back in the genesis of my days in the FMA (92-93ish), we were practicing kick "destructions". My training partner and I were working progressively harder and harder kicks, and so in response our "destructions" were getting harder and harder as well. On one kick, I missed his leg and slapped myself in the nuts...hard. During the 3-second grace period before the pain set in, I ran to the side of the room so I could fall on the ground and gag in peace, out of the way of all the other attendees.
Needless to say, it was not exactly the shining moment of my MA career.
Aloha, PoiKuha'o - Kela - Koa
4/19/2006 3:56pm, #6
During a recent seminar I lost my focus while we were stroking a pattern and I whacked myself in the knee. Hard. I started the one-foot idiot hop.
Who's standing right behind me as I do this? Grand Tuhon Leo T. Gaje, Jr., that's who. He gave me a look that could've curdled milk, shook his head, and walked away.
Way to go, HB. Dumbass.Originally Posted by Canuckyokushin
4/19/2006 4:17pm, #7
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
im at the gatech padded room sparring with the same guys i usually do, and my roomate catches another guys kick and takes him down. This emboldens one of the jiukido-jiujitsu guys who is playing slaps on the other side of the room to say very loudly "that's why you should never high kick, its so easy to see coming and catch blah blah blah"
So, i get up. ask if i can intervine in my roomates' bout. I tell him even louder that i wont even punch. about 3 seconds into it, wham! mawashigeri to the head, and my roommate is just able to utter that he is done before he falls to the floor. I look over at the guy who was talking **** and he looks like his world has collapsed.
Redemtion for my roomate. We are working knees as a warm-up. But, i geuss he didn't think it was a warm-up, he pulls my head down hard into a knee, and the next thing i remember is being on all fours. karma is a bitch I suppose.
4/19/2006 4:32pm, #8Originally Posted by Honey Badger
Man, I can really be a dumbass sometimes. :viking:
Aloha, PoiKuha'o - Kela - Koa
4/19/2006 6:19pm, #9
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
When i was a n00b at my old JJJ club I was paired up with a green belt who thought he was god's gift to the martial arts and he was going to teach me the true meaning of pain. Samurai boy was supposed to be teaching me the finer points of ogoshi - but instead spent half his time practicing snapping on arm-locks and wrist-locks as effectively as he could without breaking bits of me. Unfortunately for him I lived with an aikidoka and a guy from the JJJ club, and for three months had been a "training partner" every morning for them as my flatmate was preparing for his shodan test. I had managed to pick up a few handy techniques from the experience.
So as the other newbies were taking turns with their assigned partner to acutally practice ogoshi, samurai boy now decides to throw me into the mat over and over again. Because that's the best way to learn, to feel the technique. He says. I felt like smacking the guy but sensei was standing to the left working the higher grades. Then I remembered something- and when my "teacher" was about to slam me again, I slipped an arm under his rear arm and threw myself in a counter to ogoshi that had been practiced on me a couple of weeks b4. Slammed the fucker into the mat so hard it winded him- in full view of the sensei and the higher grades at the club. The thing I enjoyed the most was the sensei coming over to make him run round the dojo and have the higher grades take turns throwing him. Because he had been showing off by "teaching him (me) stuff I didn't need to know at white belt".
Last edited by BoardHitBack; 4/19/2006 6:59pm at .
4/19/2006 6:55pm, #10
I joined up my University's TKD club for shits and giggles with my girlfriend. It was full blown McDojo, non-contact sparring and everything. I could only handle so much. The instructor was way cocky and under the impression that if the student he was sparring hit him "it was his fault for not getting out of the way". I took full advantage of this.
As you can imagine, halirity ensued for a semester, but some of the highlights include me Thai kicking him in the balls about 3 times because whenever I would go to kick about chest level (Stupid rules), he would "counter" with a headkick, and me shoving him into a set of rowing machines and clipping his ankle pretty bad.
Another time, some dude from my University found out I did martial arts and wanted to spar me. Fucker was another McDojo point sparrer crap fast. He explained the rules, and they were "No striking the legs, light contact to body, no contact to head or face". I sighed and played the point sparring game. Not only did I completely tool him at his own game, but he actually had to quit at one point because he kept firing front snap kicks at me. He had never seen a Muay Thai stance before. The front snap kicks kept hitting the points of my elbows, and eventually he fucked up his ankle pretty bad. Basically, if I just stood there, I would have won."Emevas,
You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69