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  1. DerAuslander is offline
    DerAuslander's Avatar

    Valiant Monk of Booze & War

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    Baltimore, MD
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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:15am

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: BJJ/C-JKD/KAAALIII!!!!!!!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    I'm Considering Suicide

    So, early yesterday morning, as I continued the inevitable battle with insomnia, I got an IM from a screen name I had never recongnized.

    Now...I ain't gonna name name's here...but...

    Please, just keep in mind that I suffer from insomnia.



    Deedeedee: Sup.
    Durnk108: you tell me
    Deedeedee: the moon
    Durnk108: you're kidding, right?
    Deedeedee: it is where I am
    Deedeedee: on earth
    Deedeedee: Are you in space?
    Durnk108: Something like that
    Deedeedee: did you see the Crescendolls?
    Deedeedee: I hear they passed by
    Durnk108: Nope
    Durnk108: Been busy with other stuff
    Durnk108: You?
    Deedeedee: Trying to handle my left arm
    Deedeedee: it's pissing me off because I can't train now.
    Durnk108 : What did you do?
    Deedeedee: y'see, it's unresponsive to heavy weight.
    Deedeedee: I mean, my hand is awesome. it's in perfect shape, but if I try to lift of 5 lbs I struggle.
    Durnk108 : What did you do to it?
    Deedeedee: dips.
    Durnk108: And?
    Deedeedee: Nothing other than Defranco's Training routine.
    Durnk108: Defranco?
    Deedeedee: This thing here.
    Deedeedee: http://www.defrancostraining.com/art...s_westside.htm
    Deedeedee: It's worked for a lot of people and **** was going great up until some guy suggest I try dips.
    Deedeedee: ...turned out to be an infinitely bad idea for some reason and my left arm went dead on me after that.
    Durnk108: That's nice

    *Right about now I slowly begin to lose patience.*

    Deedeedee: I think I gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome since that's my main typing and gaming hand, and the extra work happened to be the last straw..
    Durnk108: Is that the hand you you use to pleasure yourself as well?
    Durnk108: Cuz I'm sure that would just suck
    Deedeedee: other hand.
    Deedeedee: And it isn't numb, neitha.
    Deedeedee: Just the arm.
    Deedeedee: The hand's fine.
    Deedeedee: Or else I wouldn't be able to type
    Durnk108: Wow...It's funny
    Durnk108: I just can't seem to bring myself to give a rat's ass...
    Deedeedee: So, uh, why'd you ask, again?
    Deedeedee: aaanyway, some time from now, I'll be back at the clinic getting a diagnosis.
    Durnk108: For your STDs?
    Deedeedee: For the arm. STD's are beyond me
    Durnk108: Right...in order to have STDs you would have needed to engage in sexual acts with someone other than yourself
    Deedeedee: and that just is not going to happen while my mom still has to drive me around...
    Durnk108: And you're here bothering me....because?
    Deedeedee: Because you seem to be the number-one cool guy(tm) on the boards.

    This fool as no respect for LORD ASIA (long may He reign).

    Durnk108: And you say that because?
    Deedeedee: Because you're AZN and have an AZN sister, lyke omg.

    WHAT?!?

    Durnk108: I'm white

    Yeah!!!

    Deedeedee: Oh, ****.
    Durnk108: My sister is Asian
    Deedeedee: You deceived us.
    Durnk108: No I didn't.
    Deedeedee: k.
    Deedeedee: okay, well, it doesn't detract from your Cool Points(tm).

    You should have seen me.

    I danced for joy.

    Really.

    I did.

    Like in Legends of the Fall.

    The one with Brad Pitt.

    Greatest movie of all time.


    Durnk108: I'm thrilled.
    Deedeedee: No, seriously. You represent the paradigm of what everyone from 4chan would like to be.
    Durnk108: And what the **** does that mean?
    Deedeedee: You're 4chan's role model.
    Durnk108: Why?
    Deedeedee: I went back to 4chan bearing news of a modern Valhalla, you see. One filled with mighty warriors and great men. People saw it and were amazed. As a matter of fact it caused a stir up unril the 6 Million Get, which made everyone forget about it.
    Durnk108: What the **** are you talking about?
    Deedeedee: But I think we agreed that you represent everyone's ideal role model on there. Condensed version: I told people of 4chan about bullshido, they spazzed out over it and patted me on the back over it until the froums were refreshed. further condensed: they think you along with a few others are awesome.
    Durnk108: Why was I chosen as a role model? Why me?
    Deedeedee: Everyone thinks the 1812 Overture plays when you post.
    Durnk108: Tell them it's Bach's Toccatto Fugue in D Minor or nothing else
    Durnk108: Give me a link
    Deedeedee: That's what played whenever V blew **** up in V for Vendetta - 4chan's official movie.
    Deedeedee: http://img.4chan.org/b/imgboard.html
    Durnk108: Sorry, didn't see it
    Deedeedee: Feel free to poast away, if any of them still care about you.
    Deedeedee: It was back before the 6 Million Get.
    Durnk108: No, I wanna link to where they're talking about me
    Deedeedee: Which caused a massive fucking upheaval.
    Deedeedee: Oh, well you see, 4chan works like this. Threads aren't saved.
    Deedeedee: They are bumped off the board by new threads.
    Durnk108: So it's no longer there?
    Deedeedee: It's been gone for weeks but I've occasionally posted facts about you on the board.
    Deedeedee: Chuck Norris - style.
    Durnk108: Facts?
    Deedeedee: Nowadays though the battle is on between the Gaston sympathizers and the Suiseiseki forces.
    Durnk108: Like what?
    Deedeedee: Idiocy in the style of Vin Diesel facts.
    Durnk108: Such as?
    Deedeedee: Dude, I love you as much as 4chan might, but I'm not going to pull one of those out at this moment. I used to give those a lot of thought and care.
    Durnk108: So...why am I considered so cool by your geek tribe?
    Deedeedee: We want to be like you.
    Deedeedee: Besides, it's just not you.
    Deedeedee: Other people as well.
    Durnk108: And why do you want to be like me?
    Deedeedee: Mostly the heavy hitters of bullshido.

    Since when was I heavy hitter?

    Deedeedee: Besides, your sig tipped them off.
    Deedeedee: So that we can then (as a 4chan member put it) go Hokuto no Ken on people
    Durnk108: So you can what?
    Deedeedee: You ask GSX, he said it.
    Durnk108: I'm asking you
    Deedeedee: That's what he said. Don't ask me, great one, because I didn't get it either.

    GREAT ONE?!?

    Durnk108: Tell me this whole thing is a troll.
    Deedeedee: What whole thing?
    Durnk108: NVM
    Durnk108: OK, stop speaking in 4chan riddles. Your Great One wants answers.
    Durnk108: Why do you all want to be like me?
    Deedeedee: Fine. We think you as well as other bullshidotards can kill people with your fists.
    Durnk108: lol
    Deedeedee: Note that getting punched by a geek is like getting a massage to any of you guys.
    Deedeedee: I happened to be one of the hairless monkeys that got dropped out of the jungle into the Valhalla.
    Durnk108: I'm sorry to hear that
    Deedeedee: So now, I'm training in the gym and in Enshin karate for the good of 4chan and the 4chan deities.
    Deedeedee: I will forge my body and become the prodigy of Aus.
    Deedeedee: Then I can become the ultimate 4chan member.
    Deedeedee: (known as /b/tards.)
    Durnk108: Sorry. I've already got a prodigy.
    Deedeedee: OH ****!
    Deedeedee: Look!
    Durnk108: He sold me a cute Hmong girl who's crazy between the sheets.
    Deedeedee: I bring you, Lord, the 666.....th's post!
    Deedeedee: http://img.4chan.org/b/res/6666666.html
    Durnk108: What do you got for me?
    Deedeedee: THE LEGENDARY GET
    Deedeedee: *back on topic*
    Durnk108: What the **** is a legenday get?
    Deedeedee: A legendary post number.
    Durnk108: gotcha

    NOT!!!

    Deedeedee: So, in closing, I'm trying to emulate you all.
    Deedeedee: To become the 4chan God.
    Deedeedee: I'd like to rise above and beyond the wapanese fucks for...
    Deedeedee: ...great justice.

    Thank God I finally fell asleep.

    I woke up this morning thinking it had all been a bad dream...but no...

    The horror...
  2. Cassius is online now
    Cassius's Avatar

    Moderator

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    6,985

    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:24am

    supporting memberforum leader
     Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What the **** am I looking at? Is that Wataru Akiyama?

    All I can say is that I'm glad that I decided not to post any of my various screen names in my profile on bullshido.
    "No. Listen to me because I know what I'm talking about here." -- Hannibal
  3. DerAuslander is offline
    DerAuslander's Avatar

    Valiant Monk of Booze & War

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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:26am

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: BJJ/C-JKD/KAAALIII!!!!!!!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Garbanzo Bean
    What the **** am I looking at?
    I kinda felt like Marlowe in Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness".

    Quote Originally Posted by Garbanzo Bean
    Is that Wataru Akiyama?
    Nooooooooooooooooooo...................

    Quote Originally Posted by Garbanzo Bean
    All I can say is that I'm glad that I decided not to post any of my various screen names in my profile on bullshido.
    I've actually been getting tons of IMs from people thanks to BS. Most have historical, linguistic, or cultural questions for me.
  4. Cymro is offline

    Registered Member

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    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wilmington, NC, USA
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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:27am


     Style: Yang style Tai Chi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Now, DerAuslander, the appropriate response is not suicide. It's a well planned and executed preemptive strike on the fucktard.

    Seriously, I have insomnia too. PM me for a better list of things to do then deal with online fucktards.
  5. WingChun Lawyer is offline
    WingChun Lawyer's Avatar

    Modesty forbids more.

    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    São Paulo, Brazil
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    5,426

    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:29am

    supporting member
     Style: Muay Thai, BJJ newbie.

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What would be the abridged version of the entire conversation?
    That civilisation may not sink,
    Its great battle lost,
    Quiet the dog, tether the pony
    To a distant post;
    Our master Caesar is in the tent
    Where the maps are spread,
    His eyes fixed upon nothing,
    A hand under his head.


    - W.B. Yeats
  6. Shawarma is online now

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:31am


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    First, while suicide seems a bit radical, you SHOULD punish yourself for posting chat logs, especially logs as strange as that one.

    Secondly, +rep for Conrad reference.

    What is 4chan? Some forum for Japanophiles, manga-nerds?
  7. DerAuslander is offline
    DerAuslander's Avatar

    Valiant Monk of Booze & War

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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:31am

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: BJJ/C-JKD/KAAALIII!!!!!!!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by WingChun Lawyer
    What would be the abridged version of the entire conversation?
    For reasons they won't tell me...4channers think I'm cool as **** and aspire to be me.
  8. Wataru Akiyama is offline

    Registered Member

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    South Shore, LI
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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:33am


     Style: Enshin

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Note: I wasn't overly serious about the AZN thing because the abbreviation AZN is used for wapanese and people who have 1% asian blood in them in most of my circles.

    In closing, the point is that you guys are all really awesome dudes that those of us who happened to run by this website, this Valhalla of the Internets, happen to worship.

    That is, if we haven't already found new gods to unite under. 4channers are fickle.
  9. DerAuslander is offline
    DerAuslander's Avatar

    Valiant Monk of Booze & War

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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:33am

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: BJJ/C-JKD/KAAALIII!!!!!!!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Shawarma
    First, while suicide seems a bit radical, you SHOULD punish yourself for posting chat logs, especially logs as strange as that one.
    Sorry. Among AzN bloggers, it's a respected thing tp punk people via posting their chats.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shawarma
    Secondly, +rep for Conrad reference.
    I've been meaning to re-read it. I haven't since high school. Great book.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shawarma
    What is 4chan? Some forum for Japanophiles, manga-nerds?
    Evidently.

    So why am I their idol (among other unnamed BS posters)?
  10. Mr. Jones is offline
    Mr. Jones's Avatar

    resident sick ****

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    Dallas
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    Posted On:
    4/12/2006 11:33am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Being a total psychopath

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by DerAuslander108
    For reasons they won't tell me...4channers think I'm cool as **** and aspire to be me.
    Wouldn't they want to be Asia instead he's into Anime and stuff Japanese. The whole conversation didn't make sense.
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