Posted On:12/02/2005 8:11pm
Guy Who Pays the Bills and Gets the Death Threats Style: MMA (Retired)
I missed the whole Makiwara thing. I hear about everything 3rd hand.
Posted On:12/02/2005 8:22pm
I AM INVOKING THE POWER OF THE SHOCKER NOW THAT BSD IS VIADOING UP THIS THREAD:
Posted On:12/02/2005 8:37pm
STANDING IN GUARD AND SPINNING TO BOSTON CRAB.
HOLDING A SLEEVE IN GUARD, SITTING BACK AND STEPPING ON THEIR ARM, ROLLING TO BOSTON CRAB.
ESCAPING OMOPLATA BY STEPPING OVER AND GOING TO BOSTON CRAB.
ESCAPING ARMBAR BY STEPPING OVER AND GOING TO BOSTON CRAB.
ESCAPING TRIANGLE BY STEPPING OVER AND GOING TO BOSTON CRAB.
ESCAPING MOUNT TO BOSTON CRAB.
EAT **** CATCH WRESTLERS.
Posted On:12/02/2005 8:42pm
I ALSO INVENTED THE ROMOPLATA.
Posted On:12/02/2005 8:43pm
I ONCE TWISTERED AND CROTCH RIPPED A 250 LBS. WRESTLER FOR THE IRONY OF USING THE "GUILLOTINE" AND "BANANA SPLIT" AGAINST HIM.
Posted On:12/02/2005 8:44pm
P.S. EAT **** CATCH WRESTLERS
Posted On:12/02/2005 9:50pm
Originally Posted by Shuma-Gorath
I COUNTER THIS BY MERELY TYING MY BELT AROUND THREE TIMES INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL TWO. FOOLISH INQUISITOR, YOU CANNOT STAND AGAINST THE POWERS OF THE WARP
NOW, WHERE WAS I?
WAIT WAIT, SO NOW YOU ARE A MONSTER? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LAST COUPLE POSTS? ARE YOU JUST SWITCHING BACK AND FORTH WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT NOW?
IF NOT, TURN TO PAGE 37 FOR A SPECIAL TREAT!
IF SO, TURN TO PAGE 58 FOR A SPECIAL TREAT!
YOU'RE A F**ING TERRIBLE MONSTER
**** you asshole do you have any idea how fucken hard it is to be a fucken lava monster no i wouldn't expect you to have a fucken clue fucken ****** u know what ? its not easy being made of lava for one thing i cant hug small children which sucks because im a pedophile but anyway you fucken redneck racist piece of **** think all monsters type in caps but u know what ill fucken tell you something,,,, butty boy (intentional misspelling) u have no clue how hard it is to be a monster these days especially a lava monster and fucken bigots like u dont make it any easier when u try to emulate monster culture,,,, u think all monsters type in caps ? fukk u i can name offhand at least five monsters offhand that dont one of them is o i dunno THE WOLFMAN god,,,, howwould u feel if i started saying all canadians fucked paul bunion O WAIT THEY DID
(LAVATORR blows his top and hoses you down with sclading hot magma. And in your final moments on this planet, you realize that if you had not pissed off LAVATORR, this would not be
Posted On:12/03/2005 12:44am
Style: Getting mounted
This is the best thread in Bullshido history.
Posted On:12/03/2005 4:35am
Style: Relson Gracie Jiu-Jitsu
Hey guys, I train with Hedge and I have known him for some time. Recently he flying bicep spliced me – repeatedly :-P
Posted On:12/03/2005 5:14am
WELCOME TO THE TERRORDOME
IF I DIDN'T START THIS GANGSTA **** THIS PARADIGM, I WAS THE HUXLEY TO IT'S DARWIN. I'M THE GUY WHO WENT BACK TO THE MOON AND ESTABLISHED A SECRET BASE THERE TO FEND OFF THE SCREAMING ALIEN HORDES THAT REPRESENT OUR DEEPEST UNCONSCIOUS FEARS
BEFORE I EVEN BEGIN, I MUST PREFACE THIS WITH A "QUICK AND DIRTY" POSTING HISTORY
THIS IS MY FIRST GRAPPLING TECHNIQUE POST
You wanna be a real dick? Then do this:
Stack, grab neck for canopener, pull up until you're squatting and he's off the ground. He's forced to open his legs and will expect you to pass.
Don't. Slam him down while still holding onto the canopener.
In guard, you can use your forehead to push on their chin. As they bring their arms up, hit the ribs. Or use your forehead to guide your hand to punch their face.
He's going to sweep you forward or to the side.
As he sweeps forward base with both hands and handstand over his guard.
To the side, base to one side and bring your knees through as he completes the sweep.
Usually the assumption with the elbow to the ribs is that you are a lot shorter than your opponent. So the semicircular elbow (the most basic) can hit multiple targets, depending on your relative height. That doesn't mean it's not a retarded idea, however.
In addition there's another technique called "princess opens the door" where you drop levels and do an inside trip, while vertical elbowing the solar plexus.
DEFENDING THE AMERICANA
Bump up high, and tuck your elbow under your ribs.
WHEREIN I MAKE A STANDING ANKLE LOCK THREAD
So, what's the best way to do it? I use the same grip and back arching as a guillotine, but what i'm more interested in is the foot positioning.
How do you keep from getting swept?
Where do you put your opposite side foot? On his thigh? Under it?
Being an brief digression into how huge a queer I am for insane grappling positions/subs.
Has anyone worked the following position?
He has side control and because he is a wrestler and has thus been given the proper wrestling imperial conditioning, he reaches under your leg to cradle, whereapon you pull his arm through your legs and pull on his sleeve/wrist.
The most obvious sub from here is crossface to reverse triangle or reverse armbar the headward arm. You really need to have your head UNDER his armpit to work anything from here.
There's different variations. For instance if you shrimp towards him, but can't bring your knee across his chest, and he reaches under your legs, you block his hip with your forearm, turn under him, pop out the other side, and omoplata.
When he sense something wrong, he's going to sit up more straight and create space enough for you to go back to boring, vanilla guard.
RE: THE DRAGON SCREW TAKEDOWN
This is perhaps a little late, but today I did something like this from wrist control, with me kindof spiralling/spinning down, ending with the single leg. I call it The Spiral of Madness.
Keep in mind, this was on Maestro Nobones who has full blown MS.
I like to call this "the Zerg Lurker":
As others have said, straighten your legs and back out so your legs are heavy. Control his wrists and pull on them hard.
Place your feet on his shoulders, and using his shoulders to support you, bridge as high as you can. If you are lucky, his forehead won't impact your crotch with the force of Thor's hammer. Run your feet down his back like some creepy arachnid (still bridged) and suddenly flip to your stomach. You have his back. Live for the Swarm!
AND THIS ENTIRE THREAD
WITH THAT PLEASANT LITTLE APPETIZER WORKING IT'S WAY THROUGH YOUR SUB-MONGOLOID CACAHUATE BRAINS, LET US CONSIDER THAT I AM THE ONLY POSTER HERE TO HAVE EVER INVENTED A POSITION
IT IS CALLED THE COCCOON GUARD AND I AM USING IT TO CREATE A SERIES OF HAIBANE RENMEI THEMED SWEEPS
THE FIRST STEP IN GETTING HERE IS BEING UNDER SIDE CONTROL
SHRIMP THE WRONG WAY (YOUR BACK TO HIM) AS YOU PUSH WITH BOTH HANDS ON HIS FAR SIDE BICEP . INSERT YOUR FAR SIDE KNEE SO THAT YOUR SHIN PUSHES HIS BICEP. YOUR NEAR SIDE LEG WILL WRAP OVER THE TOP OF HIS BICEP. SQUEEZE NEAR SIDE THIGH AND FAR SIDE SHIN TOGETHER.
HIS ARM IS NOW CONTROLLED
THE MOST OBVIOUS OPTION FROM HERE IS THE BICEP SPLICER (YOU WILL HAVE TO REACH BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND PULL HIS WRIST THROUGH).
I'VE ALSO WRITTEN DOWN SOME OTHER OPTIONS AND EVEN GIVEN THEM HOKEY JAPANESE NAMES
Sleeping choke (Numu-jime): <BR>
In response to his posting, and not allowing your head to go under their armpit, reach each hand to their opposite side collar and perform a baseball bat choke from cradle guard. Your near side elbow should wing up and push on his bicep, getting him off balance. <BR>
the fish's shoulder lock (kana no ude garame): <BR>
From coccoon guard, reach through your legs and grip his wrist or sleeve with your far side hand from inside your thighs. Pull his hand through your legs until his wrist rests on your stomach. Reach your near side arm under his body and use that arm to block his hips and pull your upper body along. Your head will pass under his body and you will pop out the other side, in a perfect position to shoulderlock with your legs. <BR>
It's called Kana because you may have to writhe like a fish to get out to the opposite side of his body. <BR>
Blue Sky (Aoi Kuu) <BR>
From coccoon guard, push and scoot yourself away from your opponent until you can post your body weight on your elbow. Shift your bodyweight so that you have climbed onto the back of his shoulders. You can help yourself with a handhold on his belt or illiac bone. Wrap up the arm you had formerly coccoon guarded from the opposite side. You are now in the crucifix position, and ready to finish the fight. <BR>
Falling Sweep (Rakka Gurama)<BR>
From coccoon guard, push and scoot yourself away from your opponent until you can post your body weight on your elbow. This time, opponent pushes hard and tries to smash you and you are unable to execute blue sky. Roll over your shoulder and hook his leg with your near side arm. Hug that leg as your momentum rolls him over his head. Now you've reversed him.
IN ADDITION, WHAT I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IN THE PAST THREE DAYS:
-REPEATED SIT THROUGH KATA GURAMAS
-SINGLE LEG PICKUP, AERIAL COSMIC FETUS WARP TO (INVERTED) HALF CRAB ANKLE LOCK
-A DAITO RYU TECHNIQUE WHERE YOU GET THEIR OPPOSITE SLEEVE, PUSH THEIR WRIST THROUGH THEIR LEGS, GO TO THE BACK ON THE NOW UNPROTECTED SIDE, SWITCH YOUR GRIPS UNDER THEIR CROTCH AND DO A LAWNMOWER STARTING MOTION WITH THEIR WRIST/ARM
THERE WILL BE MUCH MORE V. SOON BUT IT IS FIVE IN THE MORNING AND I MUST MEET MY WAITING FISH SPEAKERS FOR THE DECADE'S CEREMONY IN TWO HOURS
"The only important elements in any society
are the artistic and the criminal,
because they alone, by questioning the society's values,
can force it to change."-Samuel R. Delany
RENDERING GELATINOUS WINDMILL OF DICKS
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NON-EUCLIDIAN SPLATTERJOUST EVER
It seems that the only people who support anarchy are faggots, who want their pathetic immoral lifestyle accepted by the mainstream society. It wont be so they try to create their own.-Oldman34, friend to all children
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