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  1. #21
    ARGUMENTUM AD LATINUM DICTIONAIRUM Join us... or die
    Doctor X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Prost's Mom
    Posts
    4,380
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    Fucking Prost
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Bah! You have all lost to my superious skills!

    Rematch?

    Ha! You all lose again!

    [Stolen from Futurama.--Ed.]

    Shhh!

    --J. "I Would Type More, but it is Too Dangerous!" D.

  2. #22

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,081
    Style
    Kickboxing
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    :beatdead:

    Sure, you all laugh at this, but you're just displaying your own ignorance of the true mystic ways of Kung-Fu. There are many techniques that (if well executed) will bring about these and sometimes even more devastating results.
    I actually founded two Kung Fu styles myself (and am grandmaster of both). The first is Wank-Lo-Fo. Allow me to share with you a few of our deadly techniques. Oh, and by the way, we don't spar because we're too deadly.

    By striking an attacker on a split hair end, I can make my Chi travel back in time to make his mother explode before he was conceived.

    By tugging hard on both his ears at four minutes past noon, I can make both of his kidneys change places.

    By punching him on the side of the , I can cause I can make the pistol he is holding melt.

    By stroking his shoulders gently I can make a donkey fall out of trhe sky and crush him.

    That is my first style. The second is called The Way of the Idle Dragon. But I really can't be bothered writing about it just now.

  3. #23
    TehDeadlyDimMak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    2,198
    Style
    Sanda, BJJ
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I was about to flame you when suddenly I developed a sense of humor.

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Herndon, Virginia, USA
    Posts
    307
    Style
    Boxing, Wushu
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    something tells me this would not work in the ring. o thats right, there is no car to finish them off with

  5. #25

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    197
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    :car7:

    The ultimate weapon...

  6. #26
    wagamichi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Alaska
    Posts
    1,405
    Style
    wagamichi shorei kempo
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I quit reading Black belt magazine a few years back when they had an artical saying and showing how with a broom handle, and your city kitchen full of roaches, one could turn on the light and practice tip control for sword fighting by hitting the running roaches. Apparently, Inside Kung-fu has followed suit in the lets write the most fucked up **** ever.

    At least if you buy Inside Kung-fu you dont have to read the godforsaken editorials by david lowrey I think it is. What ever.

  7. #27
    ARGUMENTUM AD LATINUM DICTIONAIRUM Join us... or die
    Doctor X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Prost's Mom
    Posts
    4,380
    Style
    Fucking Prost
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I get the sudden vision of a vale tudo match where a guy sudden runs over an opponent with a car. . . .

    --J.D.

  8. #28

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    13
    Style
    Wrestling
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by colonelpong
    :beatdead:

    Sure, you all laugh at this, but you're just displaying your own ignorance of the true mystic ways of Kung-Fu. There are many techniques that (if well executed) will bring about these and sometimes even more devastating results.
    I actually founded two Kung Fu styles myself (and am grandmaster of both). The first is Wank-Lo-Fo. Allow me to share with you a few of our deadly techniques. Oh, and by the way, we don't spar because we're too deadly.

    By striking an attacker on a split hair end, I can make my Chi travel back in time to make his mother explode before he was conceived.

    By tugging hard on both his ears at four minutes past noon, I can make both of his kidneys change places.

    By punching him on the side of the , I can cause I can make the pistol he is holding melt.

    By stroking his shoulders gently I can make a donkey fall out of trhe sky and crush him.

    That is my first style. The second is called The Way of the Idle Dragon. But I really can't be bothered writing about it just now.
    Please share with us your second mystic martial arts skills! I have developed my own secret technique after studying Hacidic Klingon Ninjitsu for 14 3/4 years; I call it the Ultra Death touch Cause it killz u twIce with just one touch!

  9. #29
    Your RBSD Cannot Save You Now. supporting member
    Coyote's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    1,190
    Style
    Spanish Rapier/Epee/Foil
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I can use my chi to melt a cat.

  10. #30
    Not over zealous, but just zealous enough. 病気の粗悪品

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,417
    Style
    Okinawan Karate
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think it would have been a better video is the chick was wearing a leather corset, and thigh high high healed boots!:la:
    People often tell me that I fail to see the gravity of the situation.
    I see the gravity, and I say...

    Step right up folks and watch me defy gravity!

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