Just between us girls....

**Boyd** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 12:31am

As much as we ("we" being, of course, God's chosen people, the BJJites) like to give our little lectures to the new guys about practicing their elbow escapes, and training regularly, and the importance of drilling and all that ****, I think it's about time we came clean and were honest with ourselves. It's okay, Aeso's pretty much sent the kids to bed so now us grownups can speak freely without fear of corrupting their pure, innocent, reverse omoplata-less minds. And I know I, for one, have something to say.

Mount escapes are for pussies.

Yeah, in class I play it nice like a good little boy and work my upas and my elbow escapes. But deeply, secretly, niggling at the back of my head is the feeling that I'm being dishonest. I'm lying to myself and to my partners and, worst of all, to the Internet. And so begins the cycle of guilt that succeeds every mount session.

In competition it's different. I've been mounted in every tournament I've been to, and in each case the mount never lasted for more than a couple seconds. It's not because I have outstanding explosiveness, or because I never let my opponent settle into position. It's because I know a perfect, foolproof mount escape that, so far, has both a 100% success rate and gets hilarious looks from your partner.

I don't have pictures, so you'll have to bear with me:

STEP 1: My opponent is mounted on me.

STEP 2: I slide my foot behind his belt and kick him off.

STEP 3: Miller time.

So far this move has never failed me, and the look on their face as you launch them off you is priceless. Most people have never seen it, so they have no idea why you're sitting up into them and grabbing their belt. Doesn't he know he should keep his head to the mat?? Does he WANT me to Ezikiel choke him?? After this match you and I are going to have a very stern talk about your basics, young man! >:-()

There are downsides, I suppose. You almost invariably wind up in some bizarro standing half-guard instead of the relative stability of full guard. The odds of you twisting your knee feel abnormally high, although I can't back this up with any biomechanical evidence. It doesn't work late in a match, when their belt is falling off, or if your opponent is not wearing a gi. However, keep in mind that all of the above only apply if you're a total *****.

It's important this technique never leave this thread. Even though I have just singlehandedly rendered the bridge and the knee-elbow escape permanently obsolete, we need to keep the dream alive. If not for me, for all the little white belts out there that believe staying after class and drilling elbow escapes with a heavier, technically superior partner will somehow make them a better grappler.

**Poop Loops** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 12:51am

I'll have to try that. You should work on follow-up techniques to this. I'm sure there is more that can come out of it than standing half-guard.

Have you tried doing it with both feet under the belt?

**Moleculo** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 12:54am

The no-gi universe by it's very nature repels such clever manipulations.

And no, I'm not jealous that you guys HAVE ALL THE BEST TRICKS.

***JohnnyCache*** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 2:12am

muahaha this is getting tried ASAP

I feel like Indiana Jones when that guy from sliders was all, "They're digging in the wrong place"

**Shuma-Gorath** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 9:58am

This escape has worked on me a couple times but I've been able to free their foot before they can extend. Unfortunately, I forgot how.

Either way, it's another reason I prefer to mount like this: http://www.groundfighter.com/uploads.../Saulo%201.WMV

**Meager** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 3:07pm

Originally Posted by Boyd

STEP 1: My opponent is mounted on me.

STEP 2: I slide my foot behind his belt and kick him off.

STEP 3: Miller time.

A purple (who also happens to be bigger and stronger than me) did this to me last week and I managed to land in side mount. I don't think it's perfect.

Also, no gi.

Also, if you're at all concerned about self defense, you probably shouldn't rely 100% on a tactic that involves your opponent wearing a belt that you can jam your foot under.

**UpaLumpa** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 3:25pm

Okay Phil Elmore.

***jnp*** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 3:37pm

Little trick/joke moves like this one are generally not released into the general population.

Unless your intention was to spawn a wave of crappling.

**Boyd** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 3:39pm

Originally Posted by Meager

OH GOD I WANT TO EAT A SUBMARINE SANDWHICH CONSISTING ENTIRELY OF FLAMING LATINO COCK AND BABY OIL.

Valid points, all, but I think you're taking this a little too seriously. I mean the purple belt was obviously playing with you.

**Boyd** · Posted On: 3/11/2006 3:40pm

Originally Posted by jnp

Little trick/joke moves like this one are generally not released into the general population.

Unless your intention was to spawn a wave of crappling.

That's why I'm entrusting you to never allow this information to leave the thread.