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  1. Shawarma is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,480

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 4:57pm


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Elite Fighters Martial Arts System, AKA I wish I could grapple.

    http://www.elite-fighters.com/traini...tscenarios.htm

    All of these scenarios are pretty roffleworthy. Also please note the "Terrorist style box cutter attack"

    Basically, it's like chronically bad jiujitsu.


    I like to think of this technique as the "Lord, I wish I could grapple" chokehold, although the site insists it's called a "rear choke hold with a cervical vertebrae compression"
  2. Fantasy Warrior is offline
    Fantasy Warrior's Avatar

    Misguided style basher

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,714

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 5:11pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kata

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    oh dear
    You are a total Douchbag. Train more, post nevermore.
    FickleFingerOfFate -08-21-2007 08:59 AM

    just die already.
    Plasma - 08-20-2007 11:45 PM


    Aikidokkkkakkakakakaaaaa
    Best MA website ever!!!!!: http://www.dogjudo.co.uk/
  3. Poop Loops is offline
    Poop Loops's Avatar

    OOOOOOOOOOAAARRGGHH RLY?

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Americastan
    Posts
    10,025

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 5:30pm

    supporting member
     Style: In Transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The scariest part of my life so far was when I was about 18. I realized that adults aren't all-knowing like they kept telling me for so many years. This is just one more shred of evidence that you can be middle-aged and still be a total dumbass.
  4. FHoppy is offline
    FHoppy's Avatar

    Sardonic or Sarcastic?

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    1,060

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 5:46pm

    supporting member
     Style: Filipino Kun Tao, Kali

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Most of these look like poorly performed, "i-learned-this-from-a-video" FMAs or silat.

    He even describes a really bad way to do a leg-over wheel throw in one of those dominating lever series.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canuckyokushin
    I would so do Buttsecks.
  5. FHoppy is offline
    FHoppy's Avatar

    Sardonic or Sarcastic?

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    1,060

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 5:59pm

    supporting member
     Style: Filipino Kun Tao, Kali

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Read through the ranking descriptions and criteria. It looks like some D&D stat freak put it together.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canuckyokushin
    I would so do Buttsecks.
  6. Askari is offline

    The Bottom Brick

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    2,069

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 6:10pm


     Style: BJJ, Ju-Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    When you start off at the ranking trials, you start with a 100%, in each category. The score obtained in each category is determined by how you measure up to the standard listed for each level in the Praetorium. The total scores are then averaged for a final score. The score is then assigned within a grade level which determines the status of your rank. Here is how the scores for each grade are determined:
    Elite - 95-100%
    Expert - 80-95%
    Proficient - 65-80%
    Competent - 50-65%
    Advanced Beginner - 35-50%
    Novice - 0-35%
    I get it, so I roll two 10 sided dice and then the Orc attacks your horse.
  7. Toby Christensen is offline

    Martial mediocrite

    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    3,150

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 6:12pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Using bag as aggro outlet

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Shawarma
    http://www.elite-fighters.com/traini...tscenarios.htm

    All of these scenarios are pretty roffleworthy. Also please note the "Terrorist style box cutter attack"

    Basically, it's like chronically bad jiujitsu.


    I like to think of this technique as the "Lord, I wish I could grapple" chokehold, although the site insists it's called a "rear choke hold with a cervical vertebrae compression"

    Grrr...

    Why is he not securing his hand on his arm so he can apply pressure?

    WHY?!

    :knob:
    What am I?:

    I am ignorant, thieving, lying, hypocrital, violent and thoroughly self obssessed. I steal from others to make myself look better, only to make the item or information worse.

    I go on and on and ON about how brave and strong and brilliant and wealthy I am, but in the end I'm all mouth and no trousers.

    That's right children, I'm your average AMERICUNT! and I exemplify AMERICA!:911flag:

    :occasion1

    JohnnyCache's "retort" proving how much he knows about medicine and geography and First World countries:
    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...=78188&page=22

    Yes, through persistent lack of work and the cultivation of ignorance, he is a true American.
  8. Gezere is offline
    Gezere's Avatar

    My guns bigger than Scrapper's!

    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Rhineland Pfalz, Der Vaderland
    Posts
    10,584

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 6:39pm

    supporting member
     Style: Kakutogi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Well the only plus side I see is that they are doing some part to fight BS as well with their challenge.

    http://www.elite-fighters.com/home/new/challenge.htm
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh
  9. Sambojj is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    36

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 7:32pm


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    http://www.elite-fighters.com/traini...kingsystem.htm


    Congratulations, you are now at the sixth degree, you are a Paladin.
  10. sanguine is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    55

    Posted On:
    2/22/2006 7:45pm


     Style: HKD, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    http://www.elite-fighters.com/traini...ples/knife.htm

    As a member of the armed forces, you may become involved in close quarter combat where automatic weapons may not be practical. In this scenario we will examine an inward downward slashing blade attack toward your throat.
    I don't know. I think if I kicked down a door to find a dude with a knife standing more than a meter away from me, I'd be inclined to take a step back and pull the trigger, rather than dropping my gun, pulling my knife and trying to:

    Slice deeply into the enemy's arm as you prepare to grab his wrist.
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