Martial Arts Failiures.

**Coyote** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 11:15am

Everybody has a story about how at one time or another they knocked the crap out of either someone who either claimed that the martial arts were just for show, or someone who practiced "t00 l34thal for sparring" type systems.
Please post them here.

**Gumby** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 12:05pm

Ok I'll bite, and if you're JJJ and take offense, read no more.

My instructor had one of his friends who was a black belt in JJJ come in to train one friday night, which used to be only an open mat class. The class was only attended by me (a blue belt at the time) another blue belt, and one of the (then) brown belt instructors.

So, my one instructor tells us his friend is coming up, and that he'll be wearing a black belt, but that hes a JJJ black belt, not BJJ, and then proceeds to tell us to go ahead and kick the living **** out of this guy so theres no question that ours is better.

He had him train with the brown belt first, who mind you if phenominally strong for a middleweight, has excellent guard work, and has a cast on his hand at the time. If I were to give an educated guess as to how many times he submitted this guy, it was probably around 20 easily, with about 5 of them being flying triangles, inside maybe a 10-15 minute time frame.

Thing was that his takedowns (our brown belt) werent on par with what they are today, so he did what was natrual and pulled guard off the feet the whole time. I took this into consideration, and after training with our brown belt, my instructor suggests he should train with me, a lowly blue belt. My takedowns and top game were not good at the time, certainly nowhere near as good as they are now, but I didnt want to leave a loophole in his experience- he may decide to explain that no one could take him down, and therefore in a real fight he wouldnt lose. With this in mind, I had a quick 10 minute match with him and caught him about 6-7 times- the first two I pulled guard, then the rest I took him down and caught him from the top.

By the end of the training session, he was impressed, but I dont know if he ever decided to incorporate a more serious ground regime in his training or not. He would be the second JJJ black belt that I trained with, and based on those two black belts, I would put their skill levels on par with a decent BJJ white belt.

**TehDeadlyDimMak** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:30pm

I actually had a "sparring session" with some self-trained Kung Fu/TKD guy recently.

Me: Oh you do martial arts?
Him: Yeah. Wanna spar?
Me (too excited for my own good): YEAH DUDE!
*we go outside*
Me: OKAY NO RULES
*he misses with a hurricane kick*
*I punch him then RNC him*
*"Fight" ends*

this sort of thing happens a lot when you live around 100 different TKD schools...

**Coyote** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:33pm

Awesome post my brave amigo.
Anyone else serve up a can of teh woop ass?
If you want to post, I doubt anyone will begrudge you your victory.

***Plasma*** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:33pm

I have this linked in my sig but I will repost for the lazy

Originally Posted by KageKaze

This person is the founder and instructor of the Binghamton University Samurai Sword Club, Recently, he put out that he likes to be known as Oni-Sensei, so I will oblige. Oni-Sensei came onto campus the semester after I graduated, I met him during one my visits to my old school. At first I was very interested because Kenjutsu students are quite rare (Kenjutsu != Kendo). He told me he was a student of Shinkage Ryu, which peeked my curiosity because my dojo includes a section of Yagyu Shinkage Ryu, a sister art to his style. At first he exploded, saying that we must not do a real Shinkage Ryu because[list a bunch of reason I was half listening too] and he was going to report my dojo to his grandmaster. I calmly explain there are many schools of Shinkage Ryu and we did a different one. The fact that I didn’t walk away then, I don’t know.

As we walked back to my friend’s dorm he told me stories, including one about live blade sparring, another about being hit by a train and a semi truck and not breaking a single bone [because they are super dense], another about his Sensei dislocating all his joints and making himself pop them back in, and this was just the tip of the ice burg.

Later on Oni-Sensei invited me to his club for some sword sparring. I love to spar so I came down. First we started to warm-up with standard exercise and a lot of duck walking. I noticed that he has one student, well ok; Kenjutsu students are rare as I said before. He makes his student sit in horse stance for a while (not sure why), goes over a few postures and one strike. So a lot of conditioning, very little Kenjutsu so far, and now it time to spar. So I grab one of his shinai, he said “No, we spar with bokken.” Now I come from a nice full contact dojo and we don’t even spar with bokken, but ok. So I agree and grab my bokken, he grabs his. He then tells me that his bokken is from a set of 10 where 8 of them where broken over him while standing in horse stance. So I bow and stand in Seigan no Kamae, measuring the distance, when Oni-Sensei attacks. I simply knock his Sword out of the way and hit him on the head. So I figured that was enough to get him to switch to shinai, nope. So we clash a few more times, and I am limiting my targets to his thumb and wrist. Eventually he decides to liven things up and grabs his second bokken. He goes to say that before he did Shinkage Ryu he did a sword style which was Kenjutsu mixed with Iron Body Kung Fu [I still cannot figure out how Iron Body stops a blade] and in this style they use 2 swords. So while he explains I go to my bag and grab 3 rubber shaken (throwing star). I never fought anyone with 2 bokken to I was a bit worried. Again I start by distancing, but instead of attacking he is just changing posture, so I use this time to draw a rubber shaken from inside of gi. I conceal it in my hand and wait. Eventually he moves into a posture where his face looks like a giant bullseye. So I throw the shaken at his head and follow it in. It connects and he jerks his head; so I jump in and hit his head with my bokken (again). When he gets back up his right eye is all bloodshot, and he complained I hit him in the eyeball. So I figured this was enough and when to gather my stuff and he could dismiss his student. While on the side I take out my BundoKusari (weighted chain) and was playing with it. So instead of tending to his class, he calls out that chain weapons are overrated and he can easily defeat it.. So he challenged me again …*sigh*. I explain that I will not use a live chain because it will shatter bones. Oni-Sensei claims that doesn’t matter because I will never be able to touch him with it. After a few minutes we decide to spar, but I will use a weighed rope (a rope with braided ends, where each braid contains a small weight and it covered with rubber). This match only lasted one strike. I hit his hand and Oni-Sensei dropped his bokken and nursed his wound. I then said “Aren’t you glad with didn’t use the live chain, it would of shattered your hand.” Then Oni-Sensei goes on about dense bones again.

Later Oni-Sensei explained that if this was a real death duel he would of won because he truly understands bushido and he is a real samurai. Then he “proved” it when I wouldn’t fight him with live blades.

Responses and the guys name and org in the in the review (link in sig.)

**Mike.D** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:35pm

It will happen in no-gi with this guy im facing i will upload it to the video gallery

**Asriel** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:35pm

Originally Posted by TehDeadlyDimMak

I actually had a "sparring session" with some self-trained Kung Fu/TKD guy recently.

Me: Oh you do martial arts?
Him: Yeah. Wanna spar?
Me (too excited for my own good): YEAH DUDE!
*we go outside*
Me: OKAY NO RULES
*he misses with a hurricane kick*
*I punch him then RNC him*
*"Fight" ends*

this sort of thing happens a lot when you live around 100 different TKD schools...

What's RNC stand for?

**TehDeadlyDimMak** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:35pm

KageKaze. For some reason I remember that was one of the first things I read when I found onto this site...

***Plasma*** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:35pm

Originally Posted by Mungkorn Dam

What's RNC stand for?

Rear Naked Choke

**Coyote** · Posted On: 2/04/2006 1:38pm

Originally Posted by TehDeadlyDimMak

I actually had a "sparring session" with some self-trained Kung Fu/TKD guy recently.

Me: Oh you do martial arts?
Him: Yeah. Wanna spar?
Me (too excited for my own good): YEAH DUDE!
*we go outside*
Me: OKAY NO RULES
*he misses with a hurricane kick*
*I punch him then RNC him*
*"Fight" ends*

this sort of thing happens a lot when you live around 100 different TKD schools...

God, how I wish I had your location. Missouri is not exactly known for its concentration of martial arts schools. Plenty of hoosiers who claim that MA is outdated and innefective though.
Transcript of actual events is as follows:
"You actually train that stupid ****?!?!?! I could take your sorry ass any day of the week!!!"
(Sound of well aimed roundhouse kick followed by much pain)
I like to teach lessons!