Grand Celestial Do

**Mjelva** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 12:49am

This **** is amazing. Man kidnapped by aliens, taught their secret fighting arts, and now returned to earth to spread the joy? Sign me up!

"Unlike Earth-based martial art systems, Grand Celestial Do doesn't focus essentially on its punches, kicks, throws, and outward techniques. Most of the Grand Celestial Do's strikes and throws are very basic and not complex and resemble those found in Earth-based styles. They are extremely direct and to the point. When Grand Celestial Do can give you the strength of ten elephants, there is no need for complex techniques. The power comes from the hidden secret of the cosmos- Photonic Energy."

"The energy can also increase their hormonal output and speed their bodies healing mechanisms. The end result is UNIMAGINABLE HUMAN STRENGTH."

Is he enlightened? Is he another Charles Manson?
I wanna know!

**Samfoo** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 3:27am

I wish I could do a Marahic shield

**Samfoo** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 3:28am

And for the record, this MUST be a joke.

**meng_mao** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 3:40am

Originally Posted by Samfoo

And for the record, this MUST be a joke.

you wish. this is clearly Internet nut syndrome.

**BigNinjaPimp** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 7:09am

hahahaha I left a message on their "forum"

**Lucky Seven** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 7:22am

The more I read, the less faith I have in humanity....I think I have never seen something like this, I can't even make fun of it

**Lucky Seven** · Posted On: 1/23/2006 7:26am

Then again, maybe I CAN make fun of this

The only physical evidence I have is a mercury-based silicon nodule implanted in my cerebral cortex. The Visitors use this to track my location. When I die, I would like for that nodule to be extracted from my body and examined. You will see that the nodule will have a chemical composition no one on Earth has seen before. That will be your proof.

Why wait for you to die?! We can do that now, bring the chainsaw! Surely he would survive with his celestial do.

Many times, you will see our students performing lethal punches and kicks with smiles and laughter. This is because love and joy is always the answer even when we are fending off a mugger, a rapist, or a serial killer.

remember to smile with love and joy when you are beeing stabed by the same guy who raped your girl and torched your house to the ground, we are all brothers in the cosmic energy.

When confronted by an attacker, Grand Celestial Do students would shoot their Photonic Energy from their belly buttons and into their attacker's belly button, connecting telepathically with them. Now they will know the attacker's every move before he even does it.

T3h d34dly b3lly 8u770n