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  1. #1
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    Boyd's Avatar
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    Tito Ortiz to Star in Turkish Anti-American Film

    <h1>Does Tito Ortiz hate America???</h1>

    Probably not, but sensational headlines sell, toots.

    The latest in a new genre of Turkish popular culture that vilifies the United States, a Turkish movie shows American soldiers in Iraq crashing a wedding and pumping a little boy full of lead in front of his mother.

    They randomly machine-gun dozens of people to death, shoot the groom in the head and drag those left alive to Abu Ghraib prison — where a Jewish-American doctor cuts out their organs, which he sells to rich people in New York, London and Tel Aviv. [...]

    [The film] opens with a true story: On July 4, 2003, in northern Iraq, troops from the U.S. Army’s 173rd Airborne Brigade raided and ransacked a Turkish special forces office, threw hoods over the heads of 11 officers, and held them in custody for more than two days. The Americans said they had been looking for Iraqi insurgents and unwittingly rounded up the Turks because they were not in uniform.

    Still, the incident damaged Turkish-U.S. relations and hurt Turkish national pride. Turks traditionally idolize their soldiers; most enthusiastically send their sons off for mandatory military service.


    I apologized if the sudden and violent erection you got from reading that put a smoking hole in your pants and fractured your penis against the monitor, but it gets better: so far we have Uwe Boll colloborator/absolutely incompetent distribution giant Billy Zane gunning down Turkish infants as he high fives Jewish mad scientist/organ traffiker Gary Busey, which puts this movie exactly one game of Rad Racer away from being the greatest film ever made. What the article does not mention, perhaps due to the fact that no one gives a ****, is that Tito Ortiz has a role as a character listed on the IMDb as "lieutenant", possibly a lieutenant of some kind.

    From IMDB:
    Credited cast:
    Gary Busey .... Doctor
    Kenan Çoban .... Abdülhey
    Spencer Garrett .... Journalist
    Ghassan Massoud .... Sheikh
    Tito Ortiz .... Lieutenant
    Necati Sasmaz .... Polat

    What does this mean for the Huntington Beach Bad Boy? Pretty much nothing. All MMA fighters are required by federal law to star in at least three crappy action movies, and no one accused Bas Rutten of being racist against the future when he made that shitty space-commando movie. Even so, I'm not quite sure this is the right move for Tito. It's a bit of a stretch to go from wearing loud pants in the ring to murdering babies and selling their blood to Jewish vampires, though I hold no doubts that his newfound reputation as a wedding crasher/troop-hater will blend smoothly with his current, hard-partying persona.

    http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...NNERS/60202001
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    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

  2. #2
    Roidie McDouchebag's Avatar
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    Awesome.

  3. #3
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    Get the word out about this folks, I think we're the first to scoop this.

    Here's the link you can copy:

    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=31645

  4. #4
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. staffhall of fame
    Stick's Avatar
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    Wow, Tito you dumb son of a bitch. I however am not in the least bit surprised to see Uwe Bol, Billy Zane, and Gary Bucey innvolved.

    I think I'm going to have to make a new avatar for this.

  5. #5

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    Well, Uwe Boll is like a cancerous growth to the movie industry, but whas has Gary Busey done to deserve your scorn? I always kinda liked him playing villains. Kind of like a poor man's Nick Nolte.

  6. #6
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. staffhall of fame
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    He's insane, it's not so much that I scorn him, jsut that him doing something crazy doesn't surprise me.

  7. #7
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. staffhall of fame
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    <--------- doing my part to make my country look bad, cause that's what Tito wants me to do!

  8. #8
    Roidie McDouchebag's Avatar
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    You should erase whatever it says behind "he's"

  9. #9
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. staffhall of fame
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    Yeah, that bugged me.

    Version 2 better?

  10. #10
    Roidie McDouchebag's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Definitely.

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