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  1. Dagon Akujin is offline
    Dagon Akujin's Avatar

    "I feel naked I was so distracted by your penis"

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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 9:14pm


     Style: Ving Tsun

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Kiiiaaaahhh!!!$!!!@!!@@#!!

    So I was flipping through channels and happened to catch ISKA Weapons Forms Championships!!! Thanks local cable (dicks!). Anyway, I was really dumbfounded by all the freakin' screaming that was going on during the "forms". Every form went something like this:

    Person walks onto floor and gets really angry look on his/her face. :angry5:

    Person bows and SCREAMS, holding the scream between 2-5 seconds. :new_let_i

    Person stands up and music starts. Person jumps into a frozen pose and SCREAMS, holding the pose and the scream for 2-5 seconds. :XXonlyamo

    Person jumps and spins around, lands, freezes, and SCREAMS SOME GOD DAMN MORE! :sad6:

    Person tosses weapon in air (?) or does a flip, followed by spinning weapon around a bunch and then FUCKING SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHAT THE ****! :new_cussi

    Then all of this happened backwards again until it was over and music stops. It was the same with everyone too. The eight year old girl with a bo, the 11 year old boy with a bo, the 16 year old with a bo, the 12 year old with kama, the 18 year old with a bo, the 23 year old woman sensei with a bo who had taught the others with the bo, some guy with a katana, another kid with kama, some ugly chick with kama, and a guy with a chain. Toss weapon in air, grab it, tense up so much that your body is shaking while you strike your DBZ pose, and SCREAM! (****?!)

    KIIIAAAAHHHH!!!!@!@@!@@!@!@!!@!@!! :wtfgif9fr

    What the hell is up with all of the screaming? I mean really, does anyone here incorporate that into their training? I keep thinking that doing that is only going to make you tire out more quickly, and get knocked over/knocked out a lot more easily because you're learning to tense your body up. I have a freakin' headache now from it and I had the volume down because of how obnoxious the whole thing was. But I'm sure all of their parents are proud.

    A couple of other observations of the thing:

    The guy with the katana (and aikido pants) froze, tossed it up about a foot over his hands, grabbed it, and of course screamed for a good couple of seconds after catching the thing. He didn't even spin the thing around! The announcers went off about how great his "release techniques" were 'cause nobody does releases on swords.

    One guy wore a kung-fu outfit and used a chain. The announcers talked about how he used to do hard-style but now he was doing a soft-style because it's a chinese weapon. He won. They said it was amazing because he didn't do soft-style before so he had to take extra time preparing. Soft-style = silk pajamas?

    The scoring was a joke. The katana guy fell at one point and still got a 99.87. The lowest score I saw was a 99.77. Like, do they inflate scores like they inflate belt rankings?

    It was hosted by Paul Mitchell (the hair guy), who talked about how martial arts were what America needed because they let black and white people learn to be peaceful and friendly. Paul Mitchell also talked about how "real" the thing was, and how you could sense the "realness".

    The women, even the little girls, were freakin' scary. Everyone looked like they were going to burst a vessel in their head. Do form judges give extra points if you look like a creature on the cover of Fangoria?

    Dagon Akujin

    P.S. The next thing on was the ISKA breaking championships, which they started by saying "He's going to have a brick broken over his fingers by focusing all of his chi into his fingers. It's amazing."
  2. Mr. Mantis is offline
    Mr. Mantis's Avatar

    One Ambulance, Eleven Cops...

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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 9:27pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kung Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Must have been EXTREME forms competition!!!!
    “We are surrounded by warships and don’t have time to talk. Please pray for us.” — One Somali Pirate.
  3. losttrak is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 9:27pm


     Style: Mizong Quan, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Ugh, dude. I cannot stand that pap either. At least performance martial arts is somewhat entertaining it its acrobatic style. That crap they are passing off as forms seems like a caricature of what it was and what it was meant to be. Same goes for modern wushu in contrast to traditional kung fu(wushu).
  4. Ronin.74 is offline

    霍氏八极拳徒弟

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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 9:55pm


     Style: CMA,Muay Thai ,Yudo,TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think it's good they do all that screaming in their forms, that way when they get into real fight and they don't have their weapon handy to throw around they can scream a lot in hope that someone will come and save their ass.
  5. kungfujew is offline
    kungfujew's Avatar

    Sexe dans la derrière!

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    the left coast
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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 10:24pm

    supporting member
     Style: Muay Thai Khmer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin.74
    I think it's good they do all that screaming in their forms, that way when they get into real fight and they don't have their weapon handy to throw around they can scream a lot in hope that someone will come and save their ass.
    3 points.
  6. PizDoff is offline

    .

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    Toronto
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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 10:35pm

    supporting memberstaff
     Style: Grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And refer to one of my old news threads:

    "Where he Exhibited a Dragon Puppet and Lip-synced Words..." ?????


    Must read.
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  7. Grashnak is offline
    Grashnak's Avatar

    Old School DM

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    Posted On:
    1/13/2006 10:46pm

    supporting member
     Style: Nothing current

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Clearly there is a direct lick between screaming and deadliness. Or should that be deadness? Most of the screaming I've ever heard has been done by people who were mortally wounded.

    Perhaps its an attempt to scare the **** out of the opponent... "KIIIIAAAAIIIII!" "Holy ****, I'm fighting a friggin psychopath....!!!! AWhhhhhhhhhh, flee!!!!!!".
    Jesus loves you. I think you're an asshole.
  8. Samfoo is offline
    Samfoo's Avatar

    Knee + Head = Black Eye * 2

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    Seattle (Ballard), WA
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    Posted On:
    1/14/2006 12:11am

    supporting member
     Style: Judo, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I sometimes say 'Osu' when I get a good throw. In Judo it sometimes draws the judges's attention more. Screaming all the time at everything is useless though.
  9. Teryan is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    1/14/2006 1:07am


     Style: BJJ/ Judo/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The screaming is just for show, it is supot to show how intense and into their forms they are. The furter they are into those forms the farter they are from reality.

    If you were to be on ESPN your supost to be the top of the top, the best of the best, so you would have to be better than every one else who is not their and their for must score at least a 9.6 some thing.
  10. FredGarvinMP is offline
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    Registered Member

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    Michigan
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    Posted On:
    1/14/2006 8:28am


     Style: Koei-Kan, Aikido

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I hate this ****. I hate this ****. I hate this ****.

    I don't even know where to start with the screaming crap they do. When I was coming up through the ranks, I had to endure one of those little shits who came to our school as he tried collecting black belts. For abut a year and a half I had to share classes with him. His dad ended up buying his blackbelt from my FORMER sensei. He was allowed to "test" for his black belt over a 3 day period. Anyways, this **** head had the WORST forms, couldn't spar to save his life and even cried when he got taken down a bit too hard once. But, you put a little thin twig in his hands that he could whip around really fast and he became world's number one bad ass.

    The screaming just made it worse. Every single one of those **** heads uses that scream and idiotic looks on their faces to pass as intensity. In reality, they don't do **** outside that one little kata they do (big surprise there, I know).

    By the way, did I mention I hate that ****? Damn. Now I want to go find that kid and punch him.
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