Stances of Disaster.

**Virus** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 6:59am

And the website quotes that go with them:

"The fifth precept one should know about combat arts is: your gait must be as stout as that one of gods."

"Kungfu and Tai Chi can help you in self defence, flexibility, confidence, anger management, stress, posture, breathing and in general healthy well being." - http://whitecranefightingarts.com/default.htm

The site is in German so I can't add a humerously juxtaposing quote. -
http://tibetankungfu.ch/d/kung_fu/pr...ampfstile.html

"These exercises consist of techniques applicable to real life situations." -
http://www.shaolinwushu.ca/calgary.html

"The strategic assumption is Shaolin Bird style is that the opponent is larger and stronger." - http://www.fujimae.co.nz/mainsite/Kempo.html

**Roidie McDouchebag** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 11:54am

That's atrocious.

**Neildo** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 12:10pm

Originally Posted by Virus

HAHA, these two are awesome.

The first one appears to be on drugs, while the second one is in need of an exorcism.

**Fantasy Warrior** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 1:04pm

From this classic site: http://erictharp.tripod.com/id3.html (MUST SEE HILERITY)

Nice socks. The one on the right is a “fighting stance”. A couple of guys who have made their own Kung Fu style “Rolling fist”.

**Yamabushi** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 1:05pm

Originally Posted by Virus

When Mary bent down to get his walking stick Grandad took the oppurtunity to show her his magic puppet.

**Darkpaladin** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 1:05pm

I can't believe I stood around like that once.........

**Virus** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 1:51pm

Sensei: Now when fighting it is imperative that you have a stable position, and the best way to achive this is to ensure you are standing on one leg.

Student: Um, sensei, if that's the case wouldn't it be more practical to stand on both legs?

Sensei: Haha, I am the sensei and you are a mere Noob. STFU. Practical.. That's excatly what our enemies will be expecting.

**Virus** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 2:02pm

Don't make fun of that ****. This stance is the prelude to a nasty poke in the balls
that the traditionalists warned you about.

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 1/13/2006 2:09pm

HaHA! That's pretty ripe... anyone who tries to pass off the "lift your leg to avoid the fucking spear trying to stab it" move as something applicable in hand-to-hand fighting is indeed a giant douche.

And remember to vote Giant Douche '04, mmkay?