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  1. Jerry_Sizzler is offline

    Lightweight

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Columbus, OH
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    125

    Posted On:
    12/16/2005 7:00pm

    supporting member
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter H.
    some crazy **** about baboons i have now forwarded to everyone i know on the internet
    so is every aspect of your life insane? you are a pro wrestler? you worked at monkey jail!? what's the deal, pete!







    that was a great story; keep them coming if you've got the time.
  2. kikkoman is offline

    Senior Member

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    Sep 2005
    Location
    Maryland
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    Posted On:
    12/16/2005 7:26pm


     Style: TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wow!!!! auwsome story.

    I like how the abused baboon got his revenge and beat up the others with a pipe.

    Please tell more.
  3. hapkido_keith is offline
    hapkido_keith's Avatar

    Crappler Extraordinaire

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    Posted On:
    12/16/2005 8:25pm

    supporting member
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    More primate stories please!
  4. G.R. Bug is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    12/16/2005 8:31pm


     Style: None, at present

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ...and on that night, the ignorant baboons were enlightened with the uniquely human lesson "PAYBACK IS A BITCH."

    A couple of questions...

    Just how did that baboon get its hands on the steel pipe, anyway? I assume it was standard procedure to keep makeshift weapons far, far away from the cage of angry baboons. I suspect Russ the night watchman. Did JFS show up on the surveillance tapes when they were reviewed?

    Also, how WAS the situation resolved? Did you guys have to employ knockout gas or something?

    Semi-related anecdote -- my dad is a (now retired) zoology professor at a university. Years ago, one of his colleagues down the hall did a lot of research on large vertebrates. For awhile this colleague had a tame female lion in a cage in his lab. Once in awhile the guy would forget to lock the cage and the lion would get out. Dad says there were a couple of times the lion was seen mosying down the hall, and the other zoology profs would simply notify the guy that "your lion's out again" and they'd go about their business until the guy arrived to take it back to the cage.
  5. Peter H. is offline

    Professional Wrestler

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    Oct 2003
    Location
    San Angelo, TX
    Posts
    2,470

    Posted On:
    12/17/2005 11:18am


     Style: Aikido-Kickboxing-Taichi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    so is every aspect of your life insane? you are a pro wrestler? you worked at monkey jail!? what's the deal, pete!
    When I was in college the first time and money didn't matter that much, I looked for intersting jobs, barring that ones that would let me study while I was at work. I've worked in warehouses, fixed and cleaned M-16's, been a dishwasher in an old folks home, interviewer for a marketing research firm, concessionist at a movie theater, a rent-a-cop, computer repairman, salesman, record store manager. Then I had kids and had to grow up.

    Just how did that baboon get its hands on the steel pipe, anyway? I assume it was standard procedure to keep makeshift weapons far, far away from the cage of angry baboons. I suspect Russ the night watchman. Did JFS show up on the surveillance tapes when they were reviewed?
    There was always construction going on, someone probably left a pipe too close to the cage and no one noticed.

    Also, how WAS the situation resolved? Did you guys have to employ knockout gas or something?
    Standard procedure was that the caretaker would employ the firehose. I imagine it involved something like that.

    That was one of the most interesting jobs I've had, not just because of the primates and rats and such, but also the things that happened there and the people I worked with.

    After I had been there a year, I was made a guard dog handler. Now, the State of Texas has rules about using working dogs. If it's too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, whatever, the dog didn't have to go out on patrol, but I did. I've been standing outside in BDUs when it's 100 degrees at midnight, and been out there when its below freezing and snowing.

    It's one of the wet nights in spring, 1996. I'm out by the back fenceline. I wasn't armed that night because there was an argument at the office over whether or not K-9 should be allowed to carry sidearms anymore, and if so, was I going to get paid the armed differential.

    I'm at the back side of the facility along the fenceline when my radio chirps, the shift supervisor, and idiot named Dumford, who also happens to be the only person with a gun that night, says there is an intruder in one of the yard areas.

    I book it towards that area, as I come out of the gate that seperates the animal areas from the business side of the place, I see Dumford breeze by in the patrol truck, lights blazing, going away from the supposed intruder, and back towards the security office.

    I hit the field where the intruder is supposed to be, and there is no one, except this one guy, outside the fenceline, shouting obsenities towards us. He keeps going on and on. I do a run around the buildings, all doors looked, no sign of any intruder, just this guy.

    So I go back to see what is up with him, as I get towards the fenceline, he climbs the hill that leads to Loop 410 in San Antonio, and his obscenities have become personal. He's shouting, things like "You monkey fuckers! You **** monkey *****, monkey fuckers!" over and over again. As he is doing this, he strips off his clothes.

    I call the gate gaurd and have him call the cops to come get this guy, as he is drunk and soon to be naked.

    By the time the cops have arrived, the guy is completely naked, and has climbed half way up a highway sign, laid down on a crossbeam and gone to sleep. Man the cops where pissed about having to wrestle a wet, naked guy down from 15 feet up and into a car.

    Dumford, during all this, had locked herself in the secuirty office and didn't come out until sunrise that night.
    "Quiet fool before I am kicking the butt!"
    -My three year old trash talking to me

    "Integrity can't be bought or sold---you either have it or you don't."
    -The Honky Tonk Man

    "If you can't be a shining example, at least be a dire warning."
    -My Father to me one day

    "No surprise. Until Aikido sheds its street-brawling, thuggish image, it'll never be mainstream."
    -Don Gwinn
  6. Neildo is offline
    Neildo's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
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    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    6,045

    Posted On:
    12/17/2005 11:51am

    Join us... or die
     Style: FBSD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    nice one dude.

    Wow, we should have the wacky night-shift story thread. I'll throw one in.

    The tech. firm I'm currently working in has two buildings about a block apart. I'm doing my rounds when the radio, which has the worst reception ever, starts squaking. It's the guard at the other building, but I can't make out what he's saying.

    Bad transmission + East indian accent + talking too fast = 10-9? 10-9? Hello?

    So I'm hauling ass over to the other building. My stupid mag-lite falls out of my belt and is somehow fucked now.(i still haven't replaced it.) Great. I can hear somebody banging on the front door of the other building, but am still too far away to make out the exact words or actually see anybody, then it stops. Nothing. I try the gurad on the radio again. Nothing.

    ****. WTF is going on? I call 911. (security guards in BC dont get ****. No gun, no cuffs, no impact weapons, no OC spray. nothing.) So, I cautiously approach and see some grubby, disheveled weirdo go in the front door. I approach the door and peek around the corner and can see that the weirdo has completly thrashed the security desk. CCTV monitor on the floor, phones thrown up and strung across the light fixtures, LCD monitor thrown across the room. Thrashed. Then i see the guy standing at the water cooler having a drink. I go through the front door and start trying to talk to the guy, but he's on another planet. He wanders around the corner into a boardroom and curls up on the floor. Okay, this is easy. The cops are coming and the guy feels like having a nap. I lock the door and wait.

    I finally get the other guard on the radio. Little bastard was so freaked out by the crazy guy, he didn't just back off, he fucking left the building. He was standing in the back parking lot waiting for me. dumbass.

    A shitload of cops show up in about 10 minutes. pretty good response time for a Saturday night. Turns out this guy had already trashed a city bus earlier, but instead of arresting him, the cops just dropped him off in cracktown. good going guys. They take him into custody and call for the paddy wagon, then sit him on the floor with a couple of plainclothes cops watching him. He starts smashing his head against the wall saying "stop hitting me" over and over. About 10 minutes of this go by and the wagon finally shows up and they drag him out of here.

    ~sigh~ I kinda miss the night shift.

    edit: There have been several B&E's since I left the night shift crew. If there was one when I was on nights, it was when I wasn't there.
    Last edited by Neildo; 12/17/2005 12:03pm at .
  7. broken fingers is offline
    broken fingers's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Arlington, Tx
    Posts
    1,213

    Posted On:
    12/17/2005 11:27pm


     Style: mixed

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter H.
    When I was in college the first time and money didn't matter that much, I looked for intersting jobs, barring that ones that would let me study while I was at work. I've worked in warehouses, fixed and cleaned M-16's, been a dishwasher in an old folks home, interviewer for a marketing research firm, concessionist at a movie theater, a rent-a-cop, computer repairman, salesman, record store manager. Then I had kids and had to grow up.



    There was always construction going on, someone probably left a pipe too close to the cage and no one noticed.



    Standard procedure was that the caretaker would employ the firehose. I imagine it involved something like that.

    That was one of the most interesting jobs I've had, not just because of the primates and rats and such, but also the things that happened there and the people I worked with.

    After I had been there a year, I was made a guard dog handler. Now, the State of Texas has rules about using working dogs. If it's too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, whatever, the dog didn't have to go out on patrol, but I did. I've been standing outside in BDUs when it's 100 degrees at midnight, and been out there when its below freezing and snowing.

    It's one of the wet nights in spring, 1996. I'm out by the back fenceline. I wasn't armed that night because there was an argument at the office over whether or not K-9 should be allowed to carry sidearms anymore, and if so, was I going to get paid the armed differential.

    I'm at the back side of the facility along the fenceline when my radio chirps, the shift supervisor, and idiot named Dumford, who also happens to be the only person with a gun that night, says there is an intruder in one of the yard areas.

    I book it towards that area, as I come out of the gate that seperates the animal areas from the business side of the place, I see Dumford breeze by in the patrol truck, lights blazing, going away from the supposed intruder, and back towards the security office.

    I hit the field where the intruder is supposed to be, and there is no one, except this one guy, outside the fenceline, shouting obsenities towards us. He keeps going on and on. I do a run around the buildings, all doors looked, no sign of any intruder, just this guy.

    So I go back to see what is up with him, as I get towards the fenceline, he climbs the hill that leads to Loop 410 in San Antonio, and his obscenities have become personal. He's shouting, things like "You monkey fuckers! You **** monkey *****, monkey fuckers!" over and over again. As he is doing this, he strips off his clothes.

    I call the gate gaurd and have him call the cops to come get this guy, as he is drunk and soon to be naked.

    By the time the cops have arrived, the guy is completely naked, and has climbed half way up a highway sign, laid down on a crossbeam and gone to sleep. Man the cops where pissed about having to wrestle a wet, naked guy down from 15 feet up and into a car.

    Dumford, during all this, had locked herself in the secuirty office and didn't come out until sunrise that night.
    dumford actually sounds like a name some idiot would have. how big were these cages? could you explain wat the mound looked liked?:5moon:
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