Posted On:12/02/2005 11:16am
Guy Who Pays the Bills and Gets the Death Threats Style: MMA (Retired)
Hahaha. Good ****.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:21am
Style: Kung Fu
During the late 80s, the NASA Advanced Jet Propuslion lab worked on a Faster-Than-Light JFS Engine. In this model a FTL manned space craft was to be launched to the farthest regions of the galaxy using only the power of JFS's Iron Palm. However these plans have been scrapped as all of the test ships were incapible of surviving the initial impact.
The cost of building the countless destroyed test ships was so great that it led to the recession of the early 90s.
Last edited by Matt Bernius; 12/02/2005 11:32am at .
Student of Wan Yi Chuan Kung Fu,
Kali, & what ever works
Renaissance Martial Arts
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:22am
Style: Wu Style TCC + BJJ
JFS was once confronted with the spectre of his own mortality. He casually leaned back against the bar and said, "Boo," with such panache that the spectre crapped his pants and ran away screaming.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:25am
Style: None, at present
JFS wrote "The Book of Love."
You are in a lot of trouble.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:27am
Style: Twirling Foot Kung Fu
late at night around the campfire, some whisper that it was JFS that killed all those teenagers out by the lake. but they're wrong. it was JFS' last strand of hair, which, like all the rest, left his head as soon as it learned to walk.
Originally Posted by Hedgehogey
FORM AN ACROBATIC BRIDGE ACROSS OMEGA'S GOOCH
Originally Posted by Kidspatula
Bleep bleep blip bloop
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:31am
JFS expected the Spanish Inquisition.
Do you eat breakfast?
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:32am
Style: Kitty Pow Pow!!!
In your country, men shave. In JFS's country, he WISHES the women would shave.
Ranked #9 internationally at 118lbs by WIKBA http://www.womenkickboxing.com/wikba...rch%202009.htm
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:34am
Style: WTF TKD, BJJ/MMA
Originally Posted by Bad News Hughes
jam master jay wasn't actually murdered. the whole thing was just set up by JFS because he was streamlining his schedule and needed to cull out a few incarnations. he does, however, continue to portray DMC on an as-needed basis.
As an addendum to this...
JFS actually murdered 2Pac because the West Siiiide isn't the best side... JFS's side is the best side...
As well, JFS no longer drinks beer (along with holding in his 1976 piss) becasue he found rubbing alcohol more to his like. A bit more bite, and smoother flavor going down.
JFS also hasn't blown a wad in 12 years since learning about tantric sex. However, he can no longer blow a wad to relase the sperm building up because it will level three large cities... makeing him even more prone to GONG SAUing bitches....
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:35am
when i was six years old i watched JFS defeat galactus in gong sau. JFS wept for a moment or two, sad from the knowledge that galactus was the most fearsome opponent he would iron palm that day and that it was all going to be down hill from there. anyway, he shed a single tear, which i bent over to inspect. i saw no tear, but instead a beautiful ruby. i grabbed it, even as it burned my flesh with the searing pain of a thousand suns. i didn't let go of that ruby for six months.
today, i type these words with the finest robot hands rubies can buy.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:40am
JFS is going to take your virginity. If you're saying to yourself, " Wait, I'm not a virgin, he can't take my virginity," then you're dead wrong.
JFS' poop is used as currency in Tanzania.
We once had a bachelor party for JFS. He ate his entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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