Posted On:12/02/2005 11:10am
Style: Kung Fu
On November 9th 1989, while in Berlin, JFS decided to test the saying "Bricks don't hit back" on a section of wall he found while walking. His innocent test led to the fall of Communism in Eastern Europe.
Truely JFS is the Forrest Gump of the martial arts world, a simple man whose actions have had a profound effect on history.
Student of Wan Yi Chuan Kung Fu,
Kali, & what ever works
Renaissance Martial Arts
You are in a lot of trouble.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:11am
Style: Twirling Foot Kung Fu
JFS got into some gong sau with a wrestling bear. the bear hit him with an iron palm, and JFS didn't move a muscle except to widen his eyes and suck in his breath. for a few tense seconds, the bear's claw was stuck to JFS' chest as if glued there. then JFS blinked and absorbed the entire bear through his skin. 10 minutes later, JFS coughed and a tiny diamond flew out of his mouth.
Originally Posted by Hedgehogey
FORM AN ACROBATIC BRIDGE ACROSS OMEGA'S GOOCH
Originally Posted by Kidspatula
Bleep bleep blip bloop
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:13am
Style: Shi Ja Quan
JFS has been know to eat lighting and crap thunder.
and good morning to you too
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:16am
JFS became so powerful he had to invent cloning in order to fight the only person truely worthy of gong-sau --- HIMSELF!
You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.
JFS has a tatoo on his pubic bone, it reads:
Suck it Trebeck, Suck it long and suck it hard.
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:17am
Style: Tai Chi
JFS can drink 8 gallons of beer without going to the bathroom once.
He doesn't drink beer any more because he's still holding it from a party in 1978.
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Posted On:12/02/2005 11:18am
JFS once prepared an elegant 7-course meal for the king and queen and all the attendees of the court. it was served on opulent golden plates in the finest room of the castle. when it was finished, everyone complemented him on the delicious chops. "fools! your chops were actually the flesh of the beloved hero hercules, procured by me in gong sau and brought here by smashing the boundaries of time!" then he laughed, "HAW HAW HAW," and everyone in the castle went bald.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:19am
JFS opens coconuts with his penis, for fun.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:21am
jam master jay wasn't actually murdered. the whole thing was just set up by JFS because he was streamlining his schedule and needed to cull out a few incarnations. he does, however, continue to portray DMC on an as-needed basis.
Posted On:12/02/2005 11:25am
Style: Wu Style TCC + BJJ
Once, during a challenge on a remote island, someone actually landed a punch on JFS. The resulting shockwaves travelled up the opponent's arm and destroyed all of his ancestors. The man might have survived, had JFS not then snatched out his internal organs and devoured them on the spot.
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