Posted On:11/23/2005 7:46pm
These guys first came to my attention a month or two ago when I was espousing the virtues of Bullshido to others in our little gym. One of them then pointed out a newspaper article on the wall that I had not noticed before.... it was about a NZ grown hippie martial art system! Comedy gold, silver and bronze all in one! So today I had some time to kill so I tracked down there website:
This is the guys intro
"AioKoa is a Maori phrase I translate as "Peaceful Seed, Happy Flower". AioKoa, as a martial arts system, focusses on protecting and nurturing. Transforming your fears and limiting beliefs into nutrients for your further growth. Removing predators and prowlers from your physical space using a combination of physical and metaphysical defences."
Metaphysical defences! Yeah! Put Socrates in the ring anyday!
Peacefuol seed, Happy flower fighting! Yeah!!
heres an explanation of the content:
"-Traditional Maori Martial art movements inspired by the unique flora and fauna of New Zealand.
-Modern combat principles based around military unarmed combat tactics and principles.
-Natural body responses using the central nervous system and subconscious reactions.
-Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP) techniques for accelerated learning and mind empowerment.
-Internal energy methods that use special breathing for self-healing and energising. "
And a final point of interest from the guys background:
In 1994, I was appointed project leader to the NZ Chief of Army General Staff on the integration of Maori weaponry drills into Army recruit training. I"
This isn't as flash as it seems- I remember this from my Basic training. It consisted of a one off 45 minute class going through some basic 'forms' with sticks supposed to represent Taiha.
Thoughts on this place anyone?
Posted On:11/23/2005 7:53pm
Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
What do you think?
Style: Goju Kai Karate
Standard 'liutenant X' stye webpage worth noting, along with all the outrageous claims, like
Learn simple strikes to 3 target areas on an attacker's body that will shock the central nervous system and cause his body to collapse in pain.
Nice find, my man. Didnt even make me lol, I just headed straight for the roflcopter [/sad]
Posted On:11/23/2005 8:54pm
Style: Kyokushin, other stuff
What a complete crock of ****,
Maori had a warior aristocracy that trained specifically for combat - their has never been any mention of them copying movements from "flora and fauna". Their combat techniques were highly adaptive (Te Rauperaha favoured a cavalry saber and a full head medieval helmet showing how little they held to tradition when it came to warfare) and totally common sense.
The Maori martial arts I have seen bear no resemblance to the formal taiaha training. They look like hell nasty brawling with a lot of MT mixed in (highly adaptive like I said) and tend to be held within certain families. Hell, the taiaha was so useless that by the time of the colonial/land wars only the most isolated tribes in the Ureweras still used it - everyone else (including Ngati Porou, Hirini's tribe) used long handled and short handled tomahawks (same use as taiha and mere, but way more effective).
$200 per person? Womens self defence courses in this country are usually free or very cheap. I think I may have seen one that charged $45 but it was a lot longer than one day.
If you check his personal website here he is basically a multi purpose **** seller. Try his One Minute Fitness Plans for a complete load of **** for ONLY $29.95!!! Careful of the pop-up when closing the window.
You will also notice he ONLY offers his AioKoa for women. he doesn't train it to men. That to me says he is worried someone will notice it is bullshit - simply put even the more reputable womens self defence seminars have a nasty tendency to tell the chicks they can defeat anyone, but they at least cost nothing. This guy is a load of ****. NZ Army CQC is mostly budget submission fighting. myt ime in was pretty short, but I could keep up with the guys who were 5 years in and totally into their CQC just with the judo I did as a kid and the advantage of watching a few UFC bouts. Some of the guys are pretty hard, but thats mostly from external training - not like modern armies really need to prioritise hand-to-hand...
He is based in Wellington - have we got anyone down there?
Sociopaths are people too.
...is THE PENETRATOR
Posted On:11/23/2005 9:02pm
Style: German longsword, .45 ACP
That's pretty hysterical. Historically, weren't the maori pretty fierce? I seriously doubt that they went around trying to imitate local plants and animals, a la poetic shaolin style. Think about it; if you were a NYC cop, would you develop a system for your nightstick with names like, "Circling Blades Around Rockerfeller Center", "Drunken Cabbie Commits Vehicular Homicide", and "Tiny Old Lady Tames The Chiuhaua"?
Best Vietnam War music video I've ever seen put together by a vet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDY8raKsdfg
Posted On:11/23/2005 9:07pm
Style: no gi bjj
Originally Posted by http://www.hirinireedy.com/seminar.htm
(Strength test - if you can squeeze a tomato in one hand or squash it flat with a palm strike then you have sufficient strength to inflict excruitiating pain to an attacker's vulnerable parts).
teh dreaded T0M4t03S strike. :confused5
Posted On:11/23/2005 11:54pm
They have a whakapapa (history and lineage/genealogy) for all the animals that are in the country, including quite a few that they rendered extinct and a lot mroe than have gone extinct since us pasty white people got here. Most of the animals here (barring a few long extinct exceptions like Haasts eagle) are extremely meek.
We have one spider that can kill a sick person, related to the black widow, but you really ahve to bully the thing into biting. Our flora and fauna is just mild by world standards.
Most of the old martial training items have been turned into performance art. Classic exampel would the the poi. Originally a clay ball on a flax string used to strengthen warriors wrists, and now a performance item used by the women in kapa-haka (Maori performance groups singing post-European hymns and deluded enough to beleive they are honouring their orignal culture).
The Maori were and are a people with a tough as fighting history and far too much pride to build a fighting style on a pukeko or weka when they could brain their opponent with a greenstone club. They didn't waste time with ineffective bullshit, as evidenced by how quickly the old methods of warfare were abandoned in favour of new ones.
I can see it now: "My pukeko style has been handed down my whakapapa for 25 generations. It will triumph over you in your quest for utu!"
"Yeah bro? Well I taught myself this big **** off sword and gun style. It hasn't got a history, but unlike pukeko style its got a future...."
Posted On:11/24/2005 12:52am
Originally Posted by Vile
He is based in Wellington - have we got anyone down there?
welll... actually I'm in wellington. There has already been some talk of sending one of our people along. The candidate we are considering is best described as "A very angry young woman who hits really hard". I think she'd be game for it.... but the cost? Hmmm..... the price of cutting BS off at the nuts.....
Posted On:11/24/2005 1:44am
Style: Kyokushinkai / Kajukenbo
NLP Master Practitioner, IANLP
Reiki Master Usui
Better watch out, he'll hypnotize you!
"Preparing mentally, the most important thing is, if you aren't doing it for the love of it, then don't do it." - Benny Urquidez
Posted On:11/24/2005 3:07am
Style: Muay Thai yaaay!
wow, what bullshido, and so close to home.
Weapons fighting based on flowers, what?
My dad practises both NLP and Reiki though. I think his love of every single esoteric form of otiental healing probably shaped me somehow. Whenever he gets angry he taps pressure points on his head:
He usually reamins pissed off afterwards.
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