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  1. Running Ronin is offline

    Registered Member

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    Dec 2004
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    11

    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:01am


     Style: Karate, Aikido

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Is better to have a friend than an extra enemy, right ?. Its Ok to teach him on how defend himself in case of being jumped by a group kids (run like hell), look why dont you keep this simple by pursuing a peaceful resolution than living with the tought that your kid may come home severely injured over some simple playground fight ? Be mature he is your kid.
  2. dramaboy is offline

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:09am


     Style: -

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by miguksaram
    I've already told them that they must be scared of him if the only way they can come at him is with a group. I also told him not to fight the group but to fight them one at a time, if it went down.
    Like he'll have a choice!!??

    I'd get together with the other guys parents. You, your son and the parents. Your son will say that he's sorry, that he realizes he went too far and that it won't happen again.
    I wouldn't go into details of who started what, it's all second hand information. What counts is the tooth.

    I'm sure the other guy's parents will view him differently if he bring himself to do it.

    As for the threat, kids will fight, you can't prevent it. It's all about domination, there's no real danger. I'd make sure he knows it's ok (and actually that it's SMART) to run away when **** starts to happen.

    Good luck, my older son is 7, I'm heading your way here:))

    Tomas
    Current stage of death: denial
  3. whitematt is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2003
    Location
    Iowa
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    51

    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:12am


     Style: TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I like the idea of a mediator.

    Call his family and arrange a meeting - parents and kids.

    That would be the time and place for your son to apologize. Then discuss the rumors that are circulating. Make it known that you don't want anyone else to be hurt - your son, their son, or any friends that may get involved. Let them know you only have the boys' best interest at heart.

    I would suggest buying a round to descalate the situation, but you did say they were 11. Offer to take their son out for pizza, bowling, a movie... something. If they have a good time together this whole thing will likely just go away.
  4. strongbad is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:17am


     Style: judo/tkd

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Tell your kid to learn how to get along without hitting others.
    Most kids go through their entire lives without getting in fist fights.

    But if you must teach him how to defend himself enroll him in a wrestling or Judo program where he can learn a more nuanced response to aggression.
  5. Miguksaram is offline
    Miguksaram's Avatar

    Day Tripper/Dream Weaver

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    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:25am

    supporting member
     Style: Shorei-ryu & Kumdo & TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by CMS
    Yup. Focus on ending the ****, not who started it. He's already sent the message that he's not someone to be triffled with. Apologizing is a lot less trouble than dealing with the bs.
    I attend to agree in all. Did my son over react? I really can't say. I am basing it off what he told me which was the friend attacked him first with a couple of swings. I really wanted him to figure out what to do on his own in dealing with this problem. I told him that I would only get involved if he wanted me to. Last night is when he asked me to tell the school about the threat. I didn't want to
    be the parent who rats out the other kids. However, he wanted me to inform the school of the situation so that shows that he isn't the violent type looking to get into more ****.
    Jeremy M. Talbott

    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost
    "Bullshido isn't just a place to hang out when you're browsing the net. We really are trying to accomplish something fucking extraordinary here that nobody's ever had the balls to do before."
    Quote Originally Posted by D.Murray
    "Which is better, to learn the truth, or to enjoy the illusion of being right when you are not?"
    Quote Originally Posted by hangooknamja88 View Post
    My definition of Ki is our energy. it's rather hard to explain it in words. It's not some mystical type of energy like white people...


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  6. Peter H. is offline

    Professional Wrestler

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    Oct 2003
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    San Angelo, TX
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    2,470

    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:30am


     Style: Aikido-Kickboxing-Taichi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Ah, sounds like High School all over again.

    Your son just learned the most important lesson of a physical confrontation at school: Escalation.

    From the description of what happened, your son went overboard and retaliated as opposed to defending himself or getting away.

    That said, I would tell the other kids parents that their son started the fight by assaulting your son, and is now making threats to him at school and assembling a gang to seek retaliation against your son. I wouldn't even consider the option of assisting with dental bill until they put a curb on their own child's activities, as they constitute a felony in most places, while your son's actions where not a crime, or misdemeanor assault at most.

    And even then, no way I'm paying the whole bill, I'll split it with them, and if they don't like it, they can talk to my John Malcovich looking lawyer about my lawsuit for assualting my kid and the mental trauma that has resulted from it.
    Last edited by Peter H.; 11/04/2005 11:34am at .
    "Quiet fool before I am kicking the butt!"
    -My three year old trash talking to me

    "Integrity can't be bought or sold---you either have it or you don't."
    -The Honky Tonk Man

    "If you can't be a shining example, at least be a dire warning."
    -My Father to me one day

    "No surprise. Until Aikido sheds its street-brawling, thuggish image, it'll never be mainstream."
    -Don Gwinn
  7. Miguksaram is offline
    Miguksaram's Avatar

    Day Tripper/Dream Weaver

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    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:32am

    supporting member
     Style: Shorei-ryu & Kumdo & TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by strongbad
    Tell your kid to learn how to get along without hitting others.
    Most kids go through their entire lives without getting in fist fights.

    But if you must teach him how to defend himself enroll him in a wrestling or Judo program where he can learn a more nuanced response to aggression.
    My kid gets along with just about everyone. He is the shy type for the most part, but is always out to make friends. Straight A student, who gets reported by his teachers as always trying to help others in his class. The weird part of it is the kid who hit him used to be his best friend. They were both always at each other's house. This is his first "enemy" that he has ever had. Which is why he is so upset about it. The only reason why he struck at him was because the kid came at him first. As for the Judo, he does know some throws and locks that I have taught him (which are HKD and yudo based).
    Jeremy M. Talbott

    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost
    "Bullshido isn't just a place to hang out when you're browsing the net. We really are trying to accomplish something fucking extraordinary here that nobody's ever had the balls to do before."
    Quote Originally Posted by D.Murray
    "Which is better, to learn the truth, or to enjoy the illusion of being right when you are not?"
    Quote Originally Posted by hangooknamja88 View Post
    My definition of Ki is our energy. it's rather hard to explain it in words. It's not some mystical type of energy like white people...


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  8. Miguksaram is offline
    Miguksaram's Avatar

    Day Tripper/Dream Weaver

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    Illinois
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    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:35am

    supporting member
     Style: Shorei-ryu & Kumdo & TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by whitematt
    I like the idea of a mediator.

    Call his family and arrange a meeting - parents and kids.

    That would be the time and place for your son to apologize. Then discuss the rumors that are circulating. Make it known that you don't want anyone else to be hurt - your son, their son, or any friends that may get involved. Let them know you only have the boys' best interest at heart.

    I would suggest buying a round to descalate the situation, but you did say they were 11. Offer to take their son out for pizza, bowling, a movie... something. If they have a good time together this whole thing will likely just go away.
    So a bottle of JD and some beer chasers aren't the right setting? ha.ha.ha.ha..

    I may end up calling the kid's parents so we can all sit down to see what is going on between them. We are good acquaintances with them. Well at least before all of this started.
    Jeremy M. Talbott

    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost
    "Bullshido isn't just a place to hang out when you're browsing the net. We really are trying to accomplish something fucking extraordinary here that nobody's ever had the balls to do before."
    Quote Originally Posted by D.Murray
    "Which is better, to learn the truth, or to enjoy the illusion of being right when you are not?"
    Quote Originally Posted by hangooknamja88 View Post
    My definition of Ki is our energy. it's rather hard to explain it in words. It's not some mystical type of energy like white people...


    SUPPORT BULLSHIDO!
  9. Miguksaram is offline
    Miguksaram's Avatar

    Day Tripper/Dream Weaver

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    Location
    Illinois
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    3,523

    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:37am

    supporting member
     Style: Shorei-ryu & Kumdo & TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    On a side note, it's nice to know that what my kid is studying at our school can actually work for him. ;)
    Jeremy M. Talbott

    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost
    "Bullshido isn't just a place to hang out when you're browsing the net. We really are trying to accomplish something fucking extraordinary here that nobody's ever had the balls to do before."
    Quote Originally Posted by D.Murray
    "Which is better, to learn the truth, or to enjoy the illusion of being right when you are not?"
    Quote Originally Posted by hangooknamja88 View Post
    My definition of Ki is our energy. it's rather hard to explain it in words. It's not some mystical type of energy like white people...


    SUPPORT BULLSHIDO!
  10. G.R. Bug is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    335

    Posted On:
    11/04/2005 11:42am


     Style: None, at present

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My son is 3 1/2, so right now his scraps with other kids are pretty much limited to pushing, hair-pulling and sitting on each other. But I know I'm going to be dealing with more serious stuff one day.

    Here are a couple of thoughts that went through my mind -- I'm not saying you need to post answers here on the board, but you might want to think about them:

    * Why did the two boys have a falling-out in the first place? If there's some ongoing problem that can be "fixed," you might need to address that as part of this overall situation.

    * Why did your son deal out as much violence as he did? Was he just really scared? Does he have a grudge against the other boy? Does he have anger-control issues? Depending on the answer, you may have to choose different routes to help your son prevent future incidents.

    * Do you have any sense of how likely it is that your son will actually be jumped by a group of kids? If the other boy's parents are reasonable people (and they seem to be), there's less chance their son is a budding thug. Boys with wounded egos tend to talk tough, and kids love to spread rumors.

    * Did you have a previous friendship or acquaintance with the other boy's parents? It seems to me that keeping or establishing good rapport with them is crucial, because they (presumably) have some influence over their son.
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