Willy Wonka has reported that he is missing his pride and joy of his collection. He responded at 11:27 pm Tuesday night to an alarm that sounded at his factory on the west side.
When the police arrived they entered the building and found that Mr. Wonka's giant nerd is missing. The nerd has run away before but is allegidlly to stupid to find his way home.
The police were on the scene for approx. 72 mins. They have released this bullten: The nerd has an alias that he has been known to go by. he is known as Knifer and is reported to hang around MMA forums claiming to know a great deal about martial arts. Where in fact it is proven that he was just taken to the Nerd hospital last year for getting in an altercation that landed him in the emergancy recoating unit of the factory. He had to be recoated with a new color of yellow because the gum drop that assulted him had wiped off all his color by kicking his ass and throwing it in the melting bin in the factory.
If you encouter this nerd go ahead and grab him even if he is claiming to be an expert with weapons. For he is no threat what so ever to anything but himself. When you have caught the Nerd you may call Mr. Wonka at 658-956-3521.