Photoshop Contest: Do me long and hard

**Hedgehogey** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 12:29am

Having recently dug up this picture of myself looking like a complete fucking tool from my academy's site, I want your photoshops or captions. There's no real prize to this, I just like seeing my name in print.

You may also use these team photos of me to make me into the next WTC Tourist. Why I have my hand on the person in front of me's shoulder, only Osama Bin Laden knows.

http://www.austinjj.com/gallery/photos/team/976.jpg

http://www.austinjj.com/gallery/photos/team/975.jpg

http://www.austinjj.com/gallery/photos/team/974.jpg

I do want to avoid the awkwardness and eventual horrible crunching and gnashing of telling my teammates that they are now INTERNET FAMOUS, however, so do avoid photoshopping Daniel Moraes' face into gay porn.

**G.R. Bug** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 12:50am

This is a little bit obtuse, but the fact that your hands are behind your back make it look like you're handcuffed.

Caption:

"Honest, officer, I was just trying to pass the guard. I had NO IDEA this park is a notorious homo pick-up spot."

Okay, "BJJ looks gay" is trite, I admit, but it's fucking 1:55 in the morning. Here's another try:

"Little do they know, the industrial-strength mousse has turned my 'do into a steely nest of spikes, rendering me impervious to RNC!"

Or how 'bout:

"Wait a minute...last thing I remember, I was on the mat and the other guy was trying to triangle me...what time is it, anyway?"

Or

"Did you just call me "Pillowhead?""

**Moleculo** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 12:54am

After having been awakened from a long winter's hibernation, "Lodges with Bears" ponders three very important things:

1. "How do I get out of the armlock that I have inadvertently applied to myself?"

2. "Who is that new hottie in the rubber gi?"

3. "What did the instructor mean by referring to me as a 'model/martial artist'?"

**Torakaka** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 1:00am

**NHB_Ben** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 1:55am

Those patches really are getting out of control.

**katana** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 2:02am

Originally Posted by Osiris

They should so sell matbattle patches. I swear I'd tap out as soon as I felt the guy's cup.

That's no cup, dude.

**Dr. Fagbot Q. MacGillicuddy, PhD** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 6:08am

**Gringo Grande** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 7:58am

God he look slike Aesopian.

Gringo Grande

**Leonidas** · Posted On: 10/28/2005 8:48am

Alright, Ive come through with some preliminary goods, nothing too original, and I;m sure we can all appreciate you being arrested by dissproportionately-sized policemen (Ill just put it down to you being small :P )