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View Poll Results: Is the Bible literal of not?

Voters
46. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, spilling even grass seed is bad

    6 13.04%
  • No, aside from God birthin Jesus without need for the nasty, it's broad lessons and such

    40 86.96%
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  1. daGorilla is offline

    Senior Member

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    Jun 2005
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    Seattle, WA area
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    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 10:47am


     Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    All "bibles" have thier degree of accuracy and inaccuracy.
    That is a given.
    That's about as profound as saying that all people have a degree of legs or no legs.

    -daGorilla
  2. Ronin is offline

    Merry Christmas Bitch

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    Canada
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    20,888

    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 10:47am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Canadian Shidokan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The best part of the bible:
    And God created woman:
  3. daGorilla is offline

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 10:48am


     Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by WingChun Lawyer
    You just envy my THACO.
    Dude, that's old school. Get with the new, dammit.

    -daGorilla
  4. Leodom is offline

    Dad

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    Nov 2003
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    1,146

    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 10:57am


     Style: CMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by WingChun Lawyer
    Shut up or I´ll send a level 5 Creeping Death spell (invocation/evocation, save vs death allowed) your way. Last time it was used it killed all the first born men in Egypt, you canadian smartass.
    Hah, my level 10 Sheeps Blood on the Lintel will save me and my household.
    People of integrity expect to be believed. When they're not, they let time prove them right.
  5. Mr. Mantis is offline
    Mr. Mantis's Avatar

    One Ambulance, Eleven Cops...

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    under the sink
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    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 10:58am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kung Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    The best part of the bible:
    And God created woman:
    That "rib" He took was the "beer bone" That one rib that went all the way across and held everything in... I guess it was worth it.
  6. loki09789 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 11:04am


     Style: Escrima/Kenpo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Beatdown Richie
    The second is the joke option, right? The virgin birth was probably a translation mistake. Ironic, isn't it?

    Maybe not even a mistake. It was a way of validating Jeshua/Jesus as the Christ because it was a sign of 'divine birth' just like the Greek Mythology was full of Demi Gods concieved of God/human interaction. Of course the Greek versions were a little less Immaculate, but the idea is the same.
  7. WingChun Lawyer is offline
    WingChun Lawyer's Avatar

    Modesty forbids more.

    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    São Paulo, Brazil
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    5,426

    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 11:04am

    supporting member
     Style: Muay Thai, BJJ newbie.

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Leodom
    Hah, my level 10 Sheeps Blood on the Lintel will save me and my household.
    Damn it! That´s the problem with old magic, everyone knows the counterpells when you decide to use it.

    Guess I´ll just have to use that old Flesh to Salt spell again (Level 8, Transmutation, Save vs Shapeshifting allowed). Done any buttfucking lately?
    That civilisation may not sink,
    Its great battle lost,
    Quiet the dog, tether the pony
    To a distant post;
    Our master Caesar is in the tent
    Where the maps are spread,
    His eyes fixed upon nothing,
    A hand under his head.


    - W.B. Yeats
  8. Gezere is offline
    Gezere's Avatar

    My guns bigger than Scrapper's!

    Join Date
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    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 11:06am

    supporting member
     Style: Kakutogi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by WingChun Lawyer
    Carnival is only dangerous if you are too drunk to recognize a tranny when you see one.
    Ah HELL! :new_all_c
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh
  9. Gezere is offline
    Gezere's Avatar

    My guns bigger than Scrapper's!

    Join Date
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    Location
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    Posts
    10,588

    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 11:10am

    supporting member
     Style: Kakutogi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    God came to Adam in the Garden of Eden.

    God exclaime to Adam, "ADAM I'VE DID IT!!! ITS THE MOST PERFECT CREATION I'VE EVER DONE. ITS A MATE FOR YOU AND ITS WONDERFUL!!! IT LOOKS GOOD, SMELL GOOD, ITS JUST AWSOME!!!"

    Adam gets excited, "Oh mighty GOD, That is most wonderous news!"

    God replies, "ADAM, THIS IS SOME REALLY GOOD WORK. ITS GOING TO COST YOU!"

    Perplexed Adam asks, "Really? What will it cost, Oh Lord of Lords?"

    GOD, "ADAM ITS GOING TO COST YOU AN ARM AND A LEG!"

    Adam ponders then replies, "God? What can I get for a rib?"
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh
  10. Jekyll is offline
    Jekyll's Avatar

    .

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    On the wrong side of the pond for gong sau
    Posts
    2,086

    Posted On:
    10/25/2005 11:31am

    supporting member
     Style: San shou(tai chi) +judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41687
    What Idiot Wrote These Ten Commandments?

    By Jeff Hewitt

    You keep hearing about these Ten Commandments on television, all the religious fundamentalist types saying, "Let's put them up in the courthouse, let's hang them up in the schools, etc., etc." They seem pretty determined to make the Ten Commandments the law of the land, so I figured, as a responsible citizen, I should bone up on them.

    I cracked the wife's Bible the other night and let me tell you, after all the hoopla about these 10 magical rules, I expected a lot better.

    Take the first commandment, for example. It says you shouldn't believe in any gods besides God. No gods besides the one, eh? Okay, I can agree with that. Frankly, I got no idea how foreigners keep track of all their different gods. But as an opener? As number one on a list of 10? Seems pretty weak to me. You want to lead off with a batter who can hit.

    Then it goes on more about God. "Don't believe in any other gods," it says. "Don't worship graven images of God, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them."

    One tip I would give this writer is to lay off the God stuff. Or at least dial it back a little bit. And you're not impressing anybody with the Dr. Seuss language.

    After all that jazz about God, the author just keeps on going: "Don't take the Lord's name in vain" is the next one. What is it with this guy and God? I'm beginning to think he's one of these church types. Where's the stuff we can use? Where's "No pushing"? Or "Bag your leaves so they don't blow around in your neighbor's yard?" And don't even get me started on right-of-way. Didn't they have real problems back in Bible days?

    Note to the joker who wrote these commandments: For inspiration on some good, down-to-earth laws, take a look at John Ritter's 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter. Good stuff.

    Next, he gets to the rule that you're supposed to honor your father and mother. Finally, we're getting somewhere. But just when you think we're about to get to the "how," he's on to number five, just like that. I guess this guy never had any kids. I tell my sons to honor me every day, but just you try and get them to obey! It makes me wonder if this so-called lawmaker gave any thought to enforcement. That's part and parcel, my friend. You're going to have to get police in every child's bedroom all across the country, and we just don't have the manpower for that. You mean well, but this law is strictly pie-in-the-sky.

    My advice: Think up some more, and maybe cut this one.

    The next one is "Thou shalt not kill." I'm sorry, but that just sounds like bleeding-heart bullcrud. We have a death penalty in this country, and it works. And how will you fight a war if you don't kill some people? I suppose the writer of these laws is one of these dreamers who thinks the world would be better if people picked posies and held hands all day. Enjoy your flower music, Sunshine, and call me back when you grow up and start paying your own bills.

    It gets back to earth with "Don't commit adultery" and "Don't steal," but then it's back to the old rubber room with "Don't covet thy neighbor's oxen" and "Don't bear false witness." Whatever you say, Matlock.

    I applaud the idea of 10 simple laws of the land, but I don't think these are the ones to go with. Somebody needs to do another draft of these things. Cut the fat, and put in a few real solid ones. Like what about keeping telemarketers from calling? Or some clear guidelines on tipping. Can we at least have one in there about drinking and driving? Maybe get some feedback from the taxpayers.

    Altogether, I believe these commandments are pretty thin on law and order and the needs of the common citizen, and a little thick on the religious mumbo jumbo. But as I said before, the fundamentalists are running the show now, so they must know what they're talking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stickx
    It must suck for legit practitioners of tai chi like Cullion to see their art get all watered down into exercise for seniors.
    Those who esteme qi have no strength. ~ Exposition of Insights into the Thirteen Postures Attrib: Wu Yuxiang founder of Wu style tai chi.
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