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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Dallas
    Posts
    181
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    A SHINING example of kung fu BULLSHIdo (warning: long)

    My pops used to tell me about this kung fu roommate he had back in the day, and how he was super-deadly, and ripped hearts out. Well, tonight we were chatting, and the subject came up.

    This is how these myths are perpetuated, dammit.


    ME: you should come join my judo class
    MY DAD: NOT
    ME: there's a few old farts in there, you wouldn't be alone ;-)
    MY DAD: JUDO IS *****
    ME: you gotta be kidding me
    MY DAD: NO
    MY DAD: NOT KUNG FOO THOUGH
    MY DAD: IF I COCK MY 357 THERE WILL NOT BE ANY TALKING ****
    MY DAD: I LIVED WITH A GUY THAT WAS A 5TH DEGREE BLACK BELT IN KUNG FU .IT IS A RELIGION
    ME: could he fly?
    MY DAD: IM NOT SURE BUT YOU COULD BARELY SEE HIM MOVE
    ME: heh
    MY DAD: VERY DEADLY
    ME: I bet
    MY DAD: JUDO IS MORE DEFENCIVE
    ME: one of those guys who could rip your heart out and show it to you, right?
    MY DAD: WRESTLING
    MY DAD: YES
    ME: did I mention that it's impossible?
    MY DAD: THEY TRAIN WITH ANIMALS
    MY DAD: YOU ARE WRONG
    MY DAD: BET
    ME: ok :)
    ME: I'm wrong.
    MY DAD: YES YOU SAID IMPOSSABLE
    MY DAD: YOU JUST DONT KNOW
    ME: a guy is not going to rip through your sternum and pull your heart through it
    MY DAD: THAT IS WHY IT IS ILLEGAL IN THE U.S.
    ME: that's a huge, thick plate of bone
    ME: what's illegal?
    ME: ripping people's hearts out?
    MY DAD: YOU JUST DONT
    MY DAD: KUNG-FU
    ME: kung fu is not illegal
    MY DAD: ITS AGAINST THE LAW IN THE U.S. TO TEACH
    ME: yes, I do know, pops
    MY DAD: NO YOU DONT
    ME: kung fu can be learned in no less than 3 or 4 places on this side of town
    MY DAD: NOT TRUE KUNG FU
    MY DAD: I WILL BET
    MY DAD: A FORM THERE OF
    ME: sounds like your roommate fed you a lot of ****...
    MY DAD: RIGHT
    ME: seriously, dad
    MY DAD: YOU GO AND ASK THEM THEY WILL TELL YOU
    MY DAD: NOT TRUE KUNG FU
    ME: of course they will, they have long-term contracts to sell
    MY DAD: NO RELIGION
    ME: they have the mystical art to uphold
    ME: kung fu is not a religion
    ME: the monks that “invented” kung fu were buddhist
    MY DAD: IT IS AGAINST THE LAW . IT IS TO DEADLY
    ME: untrue
    MY DAD: LIKE A RELIGION
    ME: hitting people with bats is illegal, it's also deadly
    ME: they teach swordplay in lots of japanese schools...that's quite legal and deadly
    MY DAD: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
    ME: I understand perfectly
    MY DAD: YOU THINK
    ME: you were duped by your roommate
    MY DAD: YOU ARE DUPED
    ME: no way, I know what's real and what's not
    MY DAD: YOU JUST THINK
    ME: there are no forbidden and illegal martial arts in the US
    MY DAD: I HAVE SEEN
    MY DAD: YES THERE IS
    ME: Many different schools teach many different styles, many weapons, etc. These are all legal and deadly. Why would these “special” kung fu styles be illegal?
    MY DAD: TRUE KUNG FU
    MY DAD: DEADLY
    ME: ok
    ME: we're not getting anywhere
    MY DAD: ALL OF THE MOVES
    ME: we'll just have to agree to disagree
    MY DAD: YOU DONT HAVE TO BELIVE ME
    ME: good :)
    MY DAD: ITS AMAZING

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Alcatraz Island, cell #A3390
    Posts
    270
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    were you and your dad drunk?

  3. #3
    stoogejitsu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    CST
    Posts
    1,460
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My dad always has stories like this, it reminds me of the movie "Big Fish," I think the older you get the more you exaggerate.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    181
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by Left-Hook
    were you and your dad drunk?
    What would make you say that? :cool:


    Besides, when I was a kid, it sounded really impressive...

  5. #5
    Antagony's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Central TX
    Posts
    1,919
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I totally want to get drunk with CrashStitches' dad!
    MY NAME IS ANTAGONY I SUCK AT COMBAT SPORTS KTHX

    "blahblahblah, but I don't think I'm going to train tonight."
    "Fag."
    "Well if that were true, then I'd really REALLY want to come train!"

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    181
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by Antagony
    I totally want to get drunk with CrashStitches' dad!
    Bring some Crown. You'll make a friend for life. Until he starts walking around with his robe on and a Glock tucked into the belt. Then it's time to vacate the premises.

  7. #7
    Transcendent Sunchips's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
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    Nazareth, Galilee
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    1,154
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Your dad's an asshole for typing in caps.

  8. #8
    Chupacabra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    1,397
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by KayDeePee
    Your dad's an asshole for typing in caps.
    lol

  9. #9
    Chupacabra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    1,397
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    that whole heart ripping out thing isn't totally bullshit......well at least not exactly.........

    I think it could be possible if you had some freddy cruger gloves on and you stabbed into someones gut then when you got into it you slid your hand up BEHIND the rib cage i think it could possibly work..... i think it has to be trained on animals though..... maybe humpback whales or panda bears.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    England
    Posts
    4,684
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LOL at that script, excellent.

    A lot of the time he would just completely ignore what you were saying and continue with a pseudo argument of his own (no offence.) Parents, eh? :S

    You could make that into a movie scene lol.
    "Training = pain." - I said that.

    PizDoff when drunk: "I'm actually MOST pissed that my target for the evening got drink...then I gave her my Bullshido Canada hoodie like a gentleman because she was outside with not much on...did I mention she barfed twice when I got our jackets...steaming barf is kinda fascinating..." - PizDoff.

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