How to be a vigilante

**Lights Out** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 9:43am

Originally Posted by Renn

That my friend, is the lovely and talented, Natalie Portman (although she sucked rather badly in Star Wars). I'm a huge fan of hers and i personally have always prefered petite brunettes.

I wonder how I couldn´t recognize her...

**VikingPower** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 9:48am

Nah, here's the best way:

1) Join the Marine Corps and go Force Recon
2) Work SpecOps and fight in wars
3) Get your family waxed by mobsters
4) Rob the base armory on your way off
5) Go postal on the bad guys

EDIT: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Renn again. Damn right, the Punisher's always been my favorite :thumbsup:

**IzzyDaHedgehog** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 10:45am

Oh wait, there's even another method:

1. Have the surname "Porter."

EDIT: I don't know if dude from Payback counts as a vigilante, but he still kicks ass.

**VikingPower** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 12:32pm

Originally Posted by IzzyDaHedgehog

Oh wait, there's even another method:

1. Have the surname "Porter."

EDIT: I don't know if dude from Payback counts as a vigilante, but he still kicks ass.

He was. He took the law into his own hands, got his toes smashed by a ball-peen hammer on a cement floor, and managed to kill the bad guy before he shot the broad cause he forgot his cigarettes. Porter's the man :glasses10

**Stick** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 2:34pm

Punisher pretty much sets the bar, period. There are no Daredevil's, batmen, supermen, or X-men..... but there most certainly can be a pissed off vet with an ass load of weaponry and a passion for violent death.

**Kayne** · Posted On: 2/19/2005 8:59pm

Really, though. The army wouldn't be a bad place to start vigilante training, if only for the physical and mental conditioning, and the contacts that you will make so you can procure military spec. weaponry.

**Emevas** · Posted On: 2/20/2005 2:44am

Originally Posted by Renn

That my friend, is the lovely and talented, Natalie Portman (although she sucked rather badly in Star Wars). I'm a huge fan of hers and i personally have always prefered petite brunettes.

Sorry The_Fan for interupting your thread. My personal favorite vigilante has always been "the Punisher". I never really cared for Batman.

I got the Punisher skull tattooed on my left deltoid. He's my avy too. I think a lot of Bullshido guys were punisher fans too if you check the video game topic.

**The_Fan** · Posted On: 2/21/2005 10:58am

Originally Posted by Osiris

The Saints of Boondock Saints did the thing quite well. Even when they fucked up it was quite sylish.

I think that one of the points of the movie was that God was on their side. They had some moments of increadible luck, and the only explanation for how they had so many was that it was a miracle.

The Punisher is certainly more realistic, but I've never personally liked the "kill them all, let God sort them out" attitude he has sometimes. Which is why in my guide, you'd still favor less-than-lethal weaponry. Sure it can kill, but the times when it does will be fairly rare compared to the times when it doesn't.

Army is certainly the best place to start. Police, working your way up to SWAT, is probably the second-best place if for some reason the army won't take you.

One last note on funding...day jobs are overrated. Were you to be a vigilante, either training, buying supplies, and fighting crime would pretty much take up most of your time. You would realisticly have no time to hold a job, so any "secret identity" you had would likely be closer to Rorschach's "crazy bum with a prophecy sign." Ammunition is expensive (less-than-lethal runs about $30 for five rounds!). Medical treatment (even the kind you do yourself) is expensive. Guns are VERY expensive, both to buy and to maintain. So how to afford all this?

Your options are pretty much limited to either getting paid as an enforcer for a criminal you could tolerate, taking contracts from the victims' families, or robbing the thieves. Depending on how high-class the criminals you go after are, you may just have to loot for stuff to sell, or you could simply take their credit cards, order your stuff online (firequest.com is a good source), and have it delivered to a false location. You'd have to follow all the "rules" of credit card fraud too (use only once or twice, within 24 hours of recieving numbers, change delivery location each time, etc).

In a way, the only way to fund your endeavor would be to sink to their level. Ironic, no?

**Full Circle** · Posted On: 2/21/2005 11:07am

Originally Posted by The_Fan

Your options are pretty much limited to either getting paid as an enforcer for a criminal you could tolerate, taking contracts from the victims' families, or robbing the thieves. Depending on how high-class the criminals you go after are, you may just have to loot for stuff to sell, or you could simply take their credit cards, order your stuff online (firequest.com is a good source), and have it delivered to a false location. You'd have to follow all the "rules" of credit card fraud too (use only once or twice, within 24 hours of recieving numbers, change delivery location each time, etc).

In a way, the only way to fund your endeavor would be to sink to their level. Ironic, no?

Are you still at this? Crack one off tonight after mummy tucks you into bed and it'll all seem better in the morning.
If you put this much effort into your school work maybe you'd be looking at an ivy league college at the end of it, eh?

**The_Fan** · Posted On: 2/21/2005 11:26am

Originally Posted by Full Circle

Are you still at this? Crack one off tonight after mummy tucks you into bed and it'll all seem better in the morning.
If you put this much effort into your school work maybe you'd be looking at an ivy league college at the end of it, eh?

Heheh. Nice, I'll give that a solid 8/10. Considering deducting points for misguessing my age (21), but I gave them back for accurately assessing that I should be spending more time on my studies since I certainly did put more thought into my response than you did into your insult.