1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    20,890
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The REAL deal on exercise and healthy living.

    I am sick and tired of all the bullshit out there about exercise and health and eating " right ".

    Finally I will answer with the TRUTH !!

    The Best and Happy way to Good Health

    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
    this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
    up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
    extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
    Take a nap.


    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
    that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you
    Get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of
    grain.Bottoms up!


    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is
    One to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
    exercise program?
    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
    oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
    Vegetables be bad for you?


    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
    middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoabeans ... another vegetable!!! It's
    the best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
    Had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to
    the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and
    well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand
    - a samosa in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
    and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

  2. #2
    MEGA JESUS-SAMA's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
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    Pirate Island
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    7,038
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wow! I used to walk upwards of six miles oper day thinking it could help me live longer, and stayed away from too many fried foods. I've been doing it wrong all this time! But thanks to the new Ronin69 Diet, approved by Ronin69 himself, I'm more shapely than ever and enjoying every minute of it!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Thank you !

    Yes, this exciting testimonial is a testimony to the happiness that can be yours, IF you follow this new and excting program !

    Forgot old and archaic exercises !!
    Throw out those useless exercise machines !
    Burn and smoke that gyn membership !!

    All you need is to follow the following:
    Gluttony is good !!
    Lust is living !!
    Laziness means long life !!
    Sodomoy rules !! ( between 2 consenting adults).

  4. #4
    Yes Koto got his name changed, quit asking... supporting member
    VikingPower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    4,993
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Didn't the biggest advocate of jogging die from a heart attack anyways? :)

  5. #5

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Koto_Ryu
    Didn't the biggest advocate of jogging die from a heart attack anyways? :)
    Yes.
    Now, if he had added some more fruit, blueberries for example, which are found in blueberry donuts, who know how long he could have lived.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,530
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
    this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
    up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
    extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
    Take a nap.
    Is this part of your parody?

    Yes Koto, he did.

  7. #7
    Founder/GrandSensei of Joint British / Papua New Guinean Non-contact Lawn Bowls Jiu Jitsu Committee
    supercrap's Avatar
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    Least Cool Guy in all of Japan
    Posts
    2,296
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'm sueing.
    Imports from Japan, Shipping Worldwide! Art Junkie, Scramble, BJJ Spirits, Reversal...
    Scramble Stuff

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    18,608
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I look a whale now. :(
    Surfing Facebook at work? Spread the good word by adding us on Facebook today! https://www.facebook.com/Bullshido

  9. #9
    TaeBo_Master's Avatar
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    Mar 2003
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    4,002
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
    middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
    I know this is supposed to be a parody and all..... but this one is kinda true.
    Click To Get My Free Training Newsletter... Do It NOW!


    "You all just got fucking owned.";
    "TaeBo_Master and GajusCaesar just scored 10,000,000 points on all you pawns."

    - The Wastrel

  10. #10
    Jekyll's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    On the wrong side of the pond for gong sau
    Posts
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ronin69
    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
    this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
    up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
    extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
    Take a nap.
    Daoists believed this.

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
    oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
    Vegetables be bad for you?
    Wasn't the US Food agency (I forget its name) forced to include chips(fries) as part of its 5 fruit/vegtables a day?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stickx
    It must suck for legit practitioners of tai chi like Cullion to see their art get all watered down into exercise for seniors.
    Those who esteme qi have no strength. ~ Exposition of Insights into the Thirteen Postures Attrib: Wu Yuxiang founder of Wu style tai chi.

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