A new recipe

[Judah Maccabee]

CRACKED WHEAT

1 cup commercially ground wheat product (wheat germ, wheat bran)
2 rocks of crack (may be adjusted to taste)

Using mortar and pestle, finely ground crack rocks into powder. Pour wheat into bowl. Add crack and stir. Recipe may be prepared hot by toasting with a kitchen torch for several minutes.

Serves 4 people, or one hungry crack addict.

Please note: Fumes may be addictive. Do not smoke the crack.


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PIRATE PETE'S SEAFOOD OPIUM MEDLEY!

ARRRR AND AVAST! Ye be tastin a fine dish of the sea and the Chinese! But ye may need a magicke chemist to make ye the painless brew!


1/4lb fresh salmon (Atlantic or Coho)
6 mussels
6 clams
12 medium-sized scallops
Chinese fish sauce to flavor
1oz opium poppy extract
1oz morphine
1 oz heroin (homemade is best, as that purchased at the store may be of dubious quality and purity)
1 box linguine
1 bottle white wine.

Set aside mussels and clams. Heat a skillet to medium with olive oil and begin sauteeing scallops. Broil fish with salt&pepper topping at 350 degrees until fully cooked. Cut into slivers or chunks.

Boil water and prepare linguine to al dente.

When scallops are done cooking, remove from pan and place on a paper-toweled plate. Using a medical syringe, inject each scallop with a combination of each opium extract. Pry open mussels and clams, and do the same. Remainder can be poured over the cooked fish.

Mix all ingredients together into large dinner bowls. Splash white wine over it and serve. Dinner is its own dessert.

[JohnnyCache]

Ignoring the aspects of someone's personal stance on drug use, is there any way that would taste good? I can't imagine grass and steak together . . . . it'd be like putting pork in jello...