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View Poll Results: Who is the Manliest Video Game Character?

Voters
516. You may not vote on this poll
  • Snake: Metal Gear Solid 3

    141 27.33%
  • Bryan Fury: Tekken

    26 5.04%
  • The Marine: Doom

    55 10.66%
  • Duke Nukem: Duke Nukem

    104 20.16%
  • Mario: Super Mario Brothers

    21 4.07%
  • Gordan Freeman: Half-Life(?)

    22 4.26%
  • Kenshiro: Fist of the North Star

    27 5.23%
  • Mr. Domino: Mr. Domino

    2 0.39%
  • Luigi: Super Mario Brothers

    22 4.26%
  • Dante: Devil May Cry

    31 6.01%
  • Other: Write in your own

    65 12.60%
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  1. Transcendent Sunchips is offline
    Transcendent Sunchips's Avatar

    Happy birthday to me.

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 1:16pm

    supporting member
     Style: Bocksing, ngBJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Manliest Video Game Character

    After playing MGS3 repeatedly, I've come across a revelation. Naked Snake is the manliest character to date. It's about time since most main characters have been a whiny disappointment. The points brought up are pretty much Maddox inspired. I should mark for spoilers, but if you haven't beaten the game or played it, that's your problem. Here's why Snake is the manliest character in video games:

    - Physically, he has a scruff beard, a rough lumberjack voice, a combat mullet, plus he wears an eye patch near the end of the game. He easily has the look.

    - When he takes off his helmet after completing the "world's first HALO jump" it's done in slowmo. When things are done in slowmo, that usually means it's bad ass. When you do something that's done everyday in slowmo, that's pretty bad ass.

    - After having his arm broken and tossed off a bridge, most people would die or even worst, cry and wait for an ambulance. Not Snake, he just radios the Major and gives him the lowdown of his mission. He just fixed himself up due to manliness.

    - Speaking of self healing, when Snake gets shot in the head by a bullet or an arrow, he just plucks it out with his knife and chews on it. If he had any broken bones, he'd fix that himself. If he was cut open, he could treat himself in the wrong order and he'd still be fine.

    - The first time he meets EVA, where does he look? Her rack. Most PC pansy boys would look at her eyes, but not Snake. It's obvious that Snake would bone her during the mission if he wanted to, but knowing that EVA had to hang out with Volgin, he couldn't have her walking around funny after ripping her apart with his giant tool. That would alert Volgin that Snake was nearby.

    - Speaking of Volgin's penis envy of Snake, when he grabbed Snake by the crotch, he felt two steel balls and a firehose and knew that it wasn't Raiden but Snake.

    - When Ocelot had a gun pointed at Snake, he didn't crap his pants like most people. Snake told Ocelot straight up that he doesn't have what it takes to kill him.

    - I'll admit that Snake ran from the bees when The Pain dropped in on the fight with Ocelot, but Snake needed a running start so he could jump down a cliff, which is obviously more painful than getting stung by bees.

    - When he was shot by the Fear's crossbow, he left the poison bolt in his leg and pointed his gun at him. He felt that it was better to have poison run through his body than put up with some monologue.

    - Snake beats up The End, for being a crusty old man (can this get any more Maddox or what?)

    - After the mission, Snake had himself cloned so he could kick his own ass later.

    I'm just going to stop right here or else this post will be overloaded with Snake's manliness.
  2. Equipoise is offline
    Equipoise's Avatar

    Certified Fitness Trainer

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 2:10pm

    supporting member
     Style: Chemical Assistance

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!


    What about this guy?
  3. Poop Loops is offline
    Poop Loops's Avatar

    OOOOOOOOOOAAARRGGHH RLY?

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 2:28pm

    supporting member
     Style: In Transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I could have told you long ago that Snake is the manliest character there is. I haven't played MGS3 yet, but I assume Naked Snake is just Snake. Naked. Of course, I aleady know this guy is.... Big Boss!!

    PL
  4. IzzyDaHedgehog is offline

    Didn't so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:15pm


     Style: Ex-TKD, BJJ, Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What about....Duke Nukem, the Marine (I don't know if he has a name) from Doom, the guys from Double Dragon, or the characters from Contra? Those are just off the top of my head.
    sudo make me a sandwich!
  5. Traditional Tom is offline
    Traditional Tom's Avatar

    [This space for rent]

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:23pm

    supporting member
     Style: Mixed Martial Arts

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Did any of those guys have to pick out bullets by the handful with their own jungles knives or reset their own broken arms? Noooo.
    Snake is the man.
  6. IzzyDaHedgehog is offline

    Didn't so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:25pm


     Style: Ex-TKD, BJJ, Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Did any of them fight the legions of Hell, and then GO INTO HELL AND BLOW IT UP? That requires serious cojones.
    sudo make me a sandwich!
  7. chaosexmachina is offline
    chaosexmachina's Avatar

    Unexpected Elbow

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:26pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: MMA/Pankration

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall." - Mitch Hedberg

    El Guapo says dance!
  8. IzzyDaHedgehog is offline

    Didn't so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:28pm


     Style: Ex-TKD, BJJ, Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The "Jump on their head" attack doesn't work on the street.
    sudo make me a sandwich!
  9. Traditional Tom is offline
    Traditional Tom's Avatar

    [This space for rent]

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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:33pm

    supporting member
     Style: Mixed Martial Arts

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by IzzyDaHedgehog
    Did any of them fight the legions of Hell, and then GO INTO HELL AND BLOW IT UP? That requires serious cojones.
    Pfft, he only saved the earth once, how many times have all the various chemical state (liquid, solid, liquidus, etc) snakes saved the planet eh? eh?
  10. IzzyDaHedgehog is offline

    Didn't so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

    Join Date
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    Ooooooklahoma!!!
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    Posted On:
    12/31/2004 3:36pm


     Style: Ex-TKD, BJJ, Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think the "blowing hell up" thing puts him over the top.
    sudo make me a sandwich!
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