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  1. afronaut is offline
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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 1:28pm

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     Style: boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    HBO boxing

    I watched the re-broadcast of Williams - Klitch on Sat. as well as the Antonio Tarver fight. Here is random, free-floating hostility about HBO boxing I'd like to share. Feel free to add your own.

    1) The only people in the HBO crew who can tell what the hell is going on in the ring are the fight pros they have (RJJr, Manny Steward, Teddy Atlas, etc.) Jim Lampley, Larry Merchant -- dolts. Both of them.

    They say dumb, wrong, unsubstantiated things all the time. "Well, Larry, he's a shorter fighter, so he's going to try to stay away from his opponent's superior reach." OK. In so much as no boxer TRIES to get punched, yes, but short fighters have to duck and weave and get inside or under and land body punches and uppercuts. You won't hear anything like that.

    Further, they don't seem to be able to accurately see what is going on on the screen. "Oooohhh, he just landed a thundering right hook downstairs!" No, he hit him straight on the arm and elbow. That's a BLOCK, numbnuts. It's not the most comfortable thing and it would have killed me, yes, but he didn't land it. It's called defense.

    Similarly, they never bust on people for being dirty. Mickey Ward is fucking Dirt McGirt when it comes to boxing. He's all forehead, looking to get a fast headbutt or cut, in addition to his crippling rabbit-punch addicition. Not a peep from Jim and Larry. Guys routinely hit low, on the ref's off side, and no commentary at all from the guys with the good angle.

    "Gee, Jim, if he spent any more time with Lewis' nuts, he'd have to buy him dinner."
    "I think he's mistaken his opponent's scrotum for a speed bag, Larry. Easy mistake to make."

    And they are the ONLY game in town. I watch Pride, K1 and UFC just to get away from them.

    Ugh. No wonder boxing can't making it back onto network. Look at its ambassadors.



    The real experts, Jones, Steward, Foreman, are often too inexperienced on TV to tell Jim and Larry to get bent. Once in a while they do, but not enough.
    I dork harder than any of you can imagine.

    - Hedgehoney
  2. ojgsxr6 is offline

    Dorkus Malorkus

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 1:40pm

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     Style: Boxing/BJJudo/Crossfit

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I hate Larry Merchant. He's too busy talking about the boxer's personal lives to care about boxing. If it was up to him he'd be hosting Access Hollywood. Lampley is not that bad, but they're all part of the machine that's trying to create hype for these nobody fighters, and that's what bothers me about all of them. After watching boxing for most of my life I've learned to tune them out. And I've started watching boxing on the spanish channels and ESPN.
  3. SunTzu is offline

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 2:02pm

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     Style: MMA

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And here I thought I was the only one. I keep expecting Merchant to start drooling on himself. Lampley is just as bad as that knob Goldberg from the UFC.
  4. afronaut is offline
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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 2:05pm

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     Style: boxing

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    It's great if you have cable channels that show fights from Spanish-speaking countries or channels like Black Family that show small market pro fights, ballroom boxing. Good stuff.
    I dork harder than any of you can imagine.

    - Hedgehoney
  5. punchingdummy is offline

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 7:18pm

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     Style: TSK

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by afronaut
    They say dumb, wrong, unsubstantiated things all the time. "Well, Larry, he's a shorter fighter, so he's going to try to stay away from his opponent's superior reach." OK. In so much as no boxer TRIES to get punched, yes, but short fighters have to duck and weave and get inside or under and land body punches and uppercuts. You won't hear anything like that.


    "I think he's mistaken his opponent's scrotum for a speed bag, Larry. Easy mistake to make."

    He made that comment in the Tarver fight where Tarver was taller, but actually had a shorter reach than Johnson. It was like, didn't you pay attention to your own words not 10 minutes ago when you gave the tale of the tape?

    They also abused RJJr. How many times did they mention that Roy lost to both of them (AND EMPHASIZED IT EVERY TIME). Gee Roy, both of these guys kicked your ass...who would you rather face?
  6. afronaut is offline
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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 7:42pm

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     Style: boxing

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And their "play by play" (punch by punch?) is so badly out of sync with the action it's like they are watching a different fight.

    "Johnson lands a strong hook to the body ... but Tarver follows with a 1-2 upstairs."

    When in reality, Tarver threw two punches at Johnson head to back him off, which Johnson blocked on his way back out after "dining on liver."

    In what other sport are people allowed to do this?

    Al Michaels: Moss is back deep, loses his man ... the ball from Culpepper is ... ohhhh!! Too high! Out of bounds!
    John Madden: Um Al, he caught that ball. That's a touchdown. See there? The ref is standing there with both his arms up in the air. That's a touchdown.
    Al Michaels: Tough break for the Viks. (inhales deeply from ether-soaked necktie)

    And you can't turn the sound off, because who wants to miss all the corner chatter and grunts and thuds and whaps and stuff?

    The worst. Bunch of puds.

    And, yes, Punching Dummy, they have no idea what to do with the fighters who are ringside with them. They never ask them probative questions that might call on their experience and instead they make them gnaw on their silly halluncinations all fight.

    Foreman will sometimes actually raise up on one of them. In one fight, Jim Lampley said something especially stupid, like: "I know trainers are more willing nowadays to stop fights early and I hope that doesn't happen here."

    Foreman: (slightly pissed) "Well, I don't know what you expect the man to do. He's got a young fighter he's looking after and that young man has to make a living and what? He's supposed to just stand there and get his head beaten in??
    I dork harder than any of you can imagine.

    - Hedgehoney
  7. Emevas is offline
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    Dysfunctionally Strong

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 9:06pm

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     Style: Boxing/Wrestling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by afronaut
    Al Michaels: Moss is back deep, loses his man ... the ball from Culpepper is ... ohhhh!! Too high! Out of bounds!
    John Madden: Um Al, he caught that ball. That's a touchdown. See there? The ref is standing there with both his arms up in the air. That's a touchdown.
    Al Michaels: Tough break for the Viks. (inhales deeply from ether-soaked necktie)
    Aw come on. Madden has said stuff like "I think the team that scores the most touchdowns is gonna win" before. It's real insulting to have him be the voice of reason =P
    "Emevas,
    You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69
  8. punchingdummy is offline

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 10:04pm

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     Style: TSK

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Madden is a favorite. I guess not everyone enjoys his dry brand of humor, but he comes up with some funny **** (even if some border on yogi-isms). Second, he knows WTF he's talking about. How many others broadcasters have won superbowl rings as a coach?
  9. Emevas is offline
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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 11:19pm

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     Style: Boxing/Wrestling

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I love the guy, I just think he states the obvious a lot of the time, and has a fair share of quoteable expressions.
    "Emevas,
    You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69
  10. punchingdummy is offline

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    Posted On:
    12/20/2004 11:21pm

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     Style: TSK

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas
    I love the guy, I just think he states the obvious a lot of the time, and has a fair share of quoteable expressions.
    Sometimes the obvious is not so obvious to the masses who are looking for deeper explanations. Isn't that what makes Yogi Berra so quotable?
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