Founder/GrandSensei of Joint British / Papua New Guinean Non-contact Lawn Bowls Jiu Jitsu Committee
Posted On:12/16/2004 8:21pm
'You have offended my family and the shao-rin tempow!'
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Posted On:12/16/2004 8:58pm
Style: Chinese Boxing
All Hallows Eve (Halloween) 1998;
Before I begin realize that I just got into a fight at Big 5 Sporting goods store earlier this day but that’s a story for another time:
I decided to open up the gym to the kids and my sister for their annual Halloween party sleep over. My wife and I were on the opposite side of the gym watching a movie (The frighteners). The gym was pitch black and the kids were playing pillow fights on the other side. Suddenly this guy sits right next me and my wife and I. I couldn’t make out his features but I thought it might be one of the parents to come check up on there kids, right up until the guy asked me for a cigarette.
I look at my wife and looked back to him and asked him how he got in. Apparently my sister let him in under the premise that he wanted to join the gym (this was 2am at this time). I told him that he’d have to come back tomorrow or Monday this was a private party for the kids. He sat there for about a minute before I told him again that he’d have to leave. His response was “why don’t I escort him out”.
My wife took the signal and I stood up and she got out of the way, the guy started walking toward me and I side stepped him so that he could get to the door. He eyed me “come on! escort me out”
I politely look at the guy and gesture him in the direction of the door making sure not to turn my back on the guy. As he gets to the door I yell out to one of the instructors to get the kids on the other side of the room. The guy then postures and says “so why don’t you escort me out!?!?”
I say “look dude, I don’t want anybody getting hurt”
Then the idiot moron I asked to get the kids on the other side say “yeah, he means it man!!”
…...anyway, then the guy stands there at the door way waiting for me to do something. “So you’re not going to do anything??”
“No”, it’s at this point I realize he’s getting ready to head butt me.
Suddenly, he reels back and goes to head but me, I duck my hard part of my head into his nose bridge and he staggers back in pain. I shake my head, turn around to flick the lights on and start walking toward the guy. He goes for a double leg take down and I slap him up side the face and he staggers off balance. I then do a quick jab to his face and he staggers back again. He goes for a punch and I drop down into an ankle pick and mount the guy. I wait for the guy to punch up at me and I take his arm and roll him into an armbar (think of the extended armbar but I’m actually in standing position while his face is on the ground), I wanted to make sure he didn’t have a friend coming into the gym.
Me “You dumbfuck!!! Did you really think you were going into a martial art gym to start a fight and not expect to get your ass kicked!?!?!”
Him “It was an accident”
Me “…….you got to be fucking kidding me…. You accidentally head butted me? How stupid do you think I am!!???”
Me “Shut the **** up you idiot”, I look over at the kids who were crying and huddling together “and you made the kids cry too...apologize!!
Him “I’m sorry kids. Can I go home now !!???”
“ No, now shut up!!”, I hyper extend his arm to the first pop.
“aaahhhh, you’re breaking my arm”
“Yes this is called a restraining hold, everytime I feel you struggle I pop it a little bit more.” I look at my sister crying “and you made my sister cry”
“you have a sister? So do I….”
I then yell to one of the instructors to call the police.
“Please don't call the police I just want to go home to my mom”
I looked over at my wife “he didn’t just cry for his mommy did he?” My wife smiled and shook here head. At this point my sister came over to hand me a stick. “WTF is that for? Get the **** over there with the other kids!!!!”
I then looked down and the guy was reaching for his back pocket. (second and third pop) “Ow you’re breaking my arm!!!”
“That’s right wtf are you reaching for!!???”
“My wallet” He reaches for his wallet and show me his military ID “see I’m a Marine”
“No wonder you’re a dumbfuck!!! Give me your other arm” I wrap his arm around his head and sit down and start to choke him with his own arm”
“I can’t breath”
“That’s right who’s in control”
10 minutes later the police arrive (another priceless look). The guy screams at the police officer to get me off of him as I am breaking his arm. The officer says good now give me the other arm, and we proceed handcuff him. Then the guy sobs to the officer as he walks him outside “you won’t believe it I was just walking by and this guy just jumped me”
Believe it or not I didn’t press charges.
Posted On:12/16/2004 9:06pm
Believe it or not I didn’t press charges.
Such a humanitarian :)
Posted On:12/16/2004 9:14pm
Originally Posted by omega
He goes for a double leg take down and I slap him up side the face and he staggers off balance.
NO! The sprawl drills I did today are worthless!!!
*Possible set up for weak joke alert*
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Posted On:12/16/2004 9:15pm
Style: Does exercise count?
Looking to get into a fight at a martial arts gym is like trying to hold up a gun store with a knife.
Great stories, keep 'em coming.
Posted On:12/16/2004 9:51pm
Omega, how much training did it take before you could handle people so easily?
Don't say you were born ready, please.
Posted On:12/16/2004 9:56pm
The first time I got into a fight and was able to handle myself on the street I had been taken Judo for 2 years and Kung fu for 1
LVL 99 Photomancer
Posted On:12/16/2004 10:08pm
Omega: was your father a rough bastard?
(when I was young)
My dad used to beat the **** out of me all the time. I used to get into fights at school daily, and would normally dominate. - as far as I was concerned - everyone my age was just small fry, my dad was the real tyrant.
I think that having such a violent influence in your life hardens you up (duh).
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Posted On:12/16/2004 10:09pm
Originally Posted by Vixen
i, for one, am totally having an omegasm.
that's what that was.
EDIT: on a side note, Asia isn't a Marine is he?
Last edited by tkdan28; 12/16/2004 10:16pm at .
Seventh: If you think TKD doesn’t work, your right, until you get the side of you face smashed with a roundhouse kick. -- ronin69
It's just that I carry weapons and have no moral compass anymore. -- JKDChick
At least until the Wing Chun clown car arrives. --JKDC
Posted On:12/16/2004 10:18pm
no, he's army
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