The man they call FoM
Posted On:2/05/2003 8:53pm
I can feel the rhythm.
I want to sambo right now.
What would happen if a one hand clapper attempted to stop a tree falling in the woods when no one else was around?
The Wastrel - So attractive he HAS to be a woman.
Posted On:2/05/2003 9:16pm
Style: Goju Ryu
16. He makes fun of TMA guys on message boards.
17. He pretends that he's been in street fights and has beaten up karate and kung fu guys.
18. He talks a lot about martial arts on message boards but actually trains and works out maybe twice a month.
19. He spends more on UFC Pay-Per-View events and videos than he does on his own training.
20. He has never actually taken a punch in the face, and when / if he ever does, realizes that he hasn't learned **** at the Gracie Academy.
Posted On:2/05/2003 9:30pm
lol The first 8 but 6 & 7, I saw in a real fight.
"A California man has been taken to court for stalking Anna Nicole Smith. The man has been charged with invasion of privacy, illegal trespassing, and having really bad taste."-Conan
Fig Newtons are fruit and cake, suckah.
Posted On:2/05/2003 10:23pm
Style: Buffalo Wing Chun
21. They tell you to punch at them, chest level, with your right foot stepping in and to stop after that.
"But some apes they gotta go, so we kill the ones we don't know" - 'Ape shall never kill Ape' by The Vandals
Apu: "Oh! You have just been Apu'd!"
Posted On:2/05/2003 10:27pm
22. They **** up a counter or block, and then ask you to do it again so they can get it right.
OFFICIAL Mayor of Cwcville
Posted On:2/05/2003 10:35pm
Style: Electricity, Speed
23. Should the fight go to the ground, they won't resist you at all because they're waiting for their buddies to materialize out of nowhere and beat your ass.
24. As you savagely punch their dick and ass over and over again, they call you things like "punk", "thug", "hooligan", "ne'er-do-well", "foppish dandy", a man "of poor budo", or "pa doe".
Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:
1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!
2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.
3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.
REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon
Such as thou art, sometime was I.
Posted On:2/05/2003 10:48pm
Style: Brazilian Jiujitsu
25. Right before the fight, there is a moment of truth. Your opponent looks into your eye, the red neon glistens off of the rain-slickened asphalt. Eighties synth music fades in and the young man standing across from you looks back into the crowd to find his teacher, a wizened Japanese man/African-American janitor/drunken beggar, who slowly nods back at him. The young man turns back to you with new resolve, advances and walks right into a knee level right roundhouse, followed by a left hook and a right cross as he slumps to his knees.
**The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**
Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the **** I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog
Posted On:2/05/2003 11:46pm
26. The guy claims to know Dim Mak
27. Every time the guy thorws a punch or kick he yells KIAI!!
28. He sets up in a horse stance.
29. Tells you he trains in TKD!
Muay Thai Rule #1 - Knock the mother out!
Edited by - Thai_Kick on February 05 2003 22:48:46
Posted On:2/06/2003 1:20am
Style: MMA-Vale Tudo
It was funny today at high school this *small* asian guy was talking **** to this fat guy over him getting ripped off about weed (i think).
Earlier that day, he had beat the **** out of this fat kid (knocked him out) then he was punking him at the bike rak. For no reason he turns and starts talking **** to this other guy who is a boxer and starts getting in his face and the guy is bigger then him. All of the sudden out of no where the asian blasts the boxer, Sends him sideways and he trys to hit him back but misses they comence swinging and both trick over some bikes.
A teacher said stop fighting in a normal voice.
Then i heard, Ok
they both shruged and walked away like nothing ever happen .
I WAS LIKE WTF is wrong with you people
Once a fighter, Always a fighter. Shawn
-Styles i train in-
Posted On:2/06/2003 2:22am
Style: JKD, BJJ
Heh, heh, heh.
I've done a few of those. It's very effective for a chick to fake martial arts ability.
I've gone into stance and Kiai'd at guys who've gotten physical with me and they back off. I think they're afraid I might actually land a kick or something and make them look like dorks.
'Course, now that I actually know how to fight, I avoid confrontation like the plague.
Since you forgot # 12, here it is:
12. Charge into you with their hands at chest level, looking at your feet. Because no one punches to the head.
(board breaks with a kick)
"Is that it? I feel like I should bow, or have honor or something."
-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Once More, With Feeling"
Monkey Ninjas! Attack!
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