What MMA now needs

[JackHanma]

MMA needs new packaging. Because of the "War on Terrorism" we need to starting using paramilitary terms and wearing camo. :qtank:

Selling knives and Guns would be a nice touch as well.

What do you suggest we should call the triangle choke? Maybe the Dynamic Leg Compression...

Ok, what Bullshido needs to do is make a list of the regular techniques of MMA and rename them with quasi-sciencific/military terms and talk about "tactical principles" a lot.

After we have the list, we'll pretend to be a RBSD site for a month. Perhaps we might actually save RBSD from itself! If you can't beat the paranoia, make money from it!

[punchingdummy]

round # = battle #
jab = harrassing fire
hook = envelop
knockout = kill
ring = kill zone
MMA short = battle dress skivies
lateral movement = manuever
punch/kick combo = combined arms assault

loser of bout = frenchman

[supercrap]

I think it's a stupid idea but it sounds like fun. Kind of like Orwellian doublespeak.

Choke - Grevious Oxygenation Impairment
Arm bar - De-calibration of elbow joint
Takedown - Induce Unforeseen contact with the ground
Sprawl - Preventative Base Blast
Triangle - Equilateral Artery Disabler

etc.

[Jolly_Roger]

Thai kick - Attack the supply line
Boxing Cross - Reserve Strike
Axe kick - Tactical Strike
Pulling Guard - Sending 'hoes with STD's
Takedown - Battlefield reformulation
WC lineage massacre - Tautology
Scoring a couple of points and turtling in the guard until the end of the match - Entrenched till reinforcements arrive
Hitting the ref - Von Clauswitz
Joining a Gracie team - OTANization
Fighting Cro Cop - Kamikaze squad

[GAB corp.]

Those sound like special moves in a fighting game...

[JackHanma]

We could claim the art was created for special Brazilian Security Personell who protect wealthy Brazilian families.

[JackHanma]

Chokes and Strangles= Cardio-Pulmonary Interference Tactics=CPIT

[chaosexmachina]

Elbows from mount = Facial Distortion Procedure
Sweep = Dominance Nullifying Maneuver
Backmount = Taking the Flank
Knees from top turtle = Shock and Awe

[Zeddy]

I'm not sure whether to be in awe of this thread or to call it MAS.

Elbows from mount = Facial Distortion Procedure

Though I think this takes first prize. :icon_eek:

[Kinzei]

lethal techniques = rendering combat inefective