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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Posts
    1,155
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The most ridiculous things a teacher has ever told you

    Not necesseraly about techniques or whatever, just things that made you question his ability to function as normal human being.

    This was posted at my old kung-fu club's private forum by the systems swedish grand master (translated from swedish gibberish to english nonsense by yours truly)

    An inquisitive student poses a question about the clubs symbol, a dragon of the chinese variety and gets the answer:

    "Our dragon is full of the deepest of secrets. Our entire system is hidden in the dragon. We are also called the brotherhood of the golden dragon. The secrets of the dragon will not be revealed on the internet, because there are many who would like nothing more than to take our knowledge and incorporate it into their own pointless systems. Train hard and learn the way of the dragon!"

    Other classics include saying things like "we must not look down upon those in our organisation who do San Shou, for while they do not have the patience to do the traditional training (i.e. doing forms all day) which is so demanding, they are also part of our familly" and "Hah! What fools they are who call themselves the black dragon society and other stupid things! We are the brotherhood of the GOLDEN dragon! (and obviously alot cooler)"

    What really, really annoys me about the school is that the techniques are basicly sound. The punch is very simillar to the basic Kyokushin reverse punch. I learnt hooks, uppercuts and palmstrikes. They do armbars, chokes, throws both thai- and Kyokushin like roundhouses. Good self defense moves. The problem being the usual crap, i.e. little sparring with light contact when it happens, too much focus on forms etc.

    The match format is great, with everything being allowed, except for, of course, any kind of hard contact. And it being point sparring.

    If I had been allowed to just buy a cup, some grappling gloves and spar regularly I would never have left. Even though the master is obviously not a fully functional human being.
    Last edited by PoleFighter; 10/25/2004 9:31am at .

  2. #2
    WhiteShark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Atlanta GA
    Posts
    9,167
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My American Civics teacher told me that Democracy works... :P

  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Southampton, England
    Posts
    1,172
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I has to be the classic "If you are in the right stance, you cannot be taken to the ground"

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    England
    Posts
    97
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Teaching you gun defenses.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    29
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "streaching is good, but the problem is, that you have to do it all the time."

  6. #6
    dadaggie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    277
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    It would have to be the night we were in my TKD class and my instructor was telling us that no one could escape him once he had them on the ground. He is not a BJJ instructor and looks down on all other MA. To demonstrate this he asks me to lay on the floor. He gets the mount, but doesn't hook his feet around my legs. He states "Look, he can't escape. Try, if you can". I buck him forward and slide out the back door. He turns and looks at me and asks "How did you do that?" This one is no joke.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    29
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wow, that must have been and embaresing night for that guy.

  8. #8
    Thaiboxerken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    6,349
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Most ridiculous thing any instructor has told me "pray to god for....."

    That was hilarious!!
    "Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities." Voltaire.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Sioux Falls, SD
    Posts
    688
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I remember a kung-fu instructor talking about how people shouldn't try to mix styles. I asked him about whether or not he'd feel obligated to teach a technique from a different style if he felt it would be more effective in a particular situation than a technique from his system. He claimed his system was complete. I then asked how he'd feel if the technique he decided to teach (as opposed to the technique from another system) didn't work for one of his students when they needed it. He said he'd tell that student that he/she must have performed the technique incorrectly.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    South of England
    Posts
    20
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Trial class at a lau Gar class.

    Q: "Do you do any sparring?"

    A: "This is the traditional class. Since people don't get attacked in a traditional manner any more if you want to spar we run a kickboxing class."

    :confused3

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