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  1. #1
    Phrost's Avatar
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    Jun 1998
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    Cow Town
    Posts
    19,137
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Statements of Disaster

    Following Boyd's thread on 'notable' quotes from Shaolin Wolf, I'd like to use this thread as a repository of the absolute worst, most idiotic, and irrational bits of martial arts 'wisdom' spewed onto the internet.

    Make sure you're giving proper credit to the individual who made the statement, the site on which it was posted, and any other relevant information with which to incrimi... err acknowledge their 'contribution' to the martial arts.

    Go.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    782
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Is it okay to quote from a class?

    1st day of Shotokan, they tell me to step out with the left leg. A black belt is telling me why to do this.

    Me: "Why the left leg?"
    BB: "We do it with the left leg."
    Me: "Why the left leg, and not the right leg?"
    BB: "Left leg because you block first with left arm."
    Me: "Why the left leg and left arm?"
    BB: "Because it's a sacrifice."
    Me: "What do you mean by sacrifice?"
    BB: "Say somebody is going to hit you with a base ball bat. You want to be able to punch him, right? So you sacrifice your left arm in a block. He breaks your left arm but you can still hit him with your right."
    Me: "Why sacrifice your arm? Why not step in and grab the arm and throw him, like this. Here throw the punch like a bat."

    BB does a shuto like he was hitting with a baseball bat, and I step in, grab his arm and throw him using Aikido style throw.

    BB: "Well, that seems to work but in Shotokan, we sacrifice the arm."

    That was my first and last class at that dojo.

    So the quote would be: "In Shotokan, you want to sacrifice your left arm so you can hit the other guy with your right arm."
    Last edited by edward; 9/01/2004 8:32pm at .

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    57
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Ninjitsu is just tai chi sped up"

    Yes, I'm serious.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    703
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    From an old man:

    "Don't look to the side, it screws up your chi."

  5. #5
    CrimsonTiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    3,578
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "You only need one sensei. Me." - Any Sensei I've ever known...most of whom have had more than one sensei of their own.
    Regards,
    CrimsonTiger

    "Na'h, they should go to old school rules.
    One guy gets sword and sheild, the other gets a net and a trident.
    Lions eat christians between rounds." - Strong Machine

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Patchogue, NY
    Posts
    111
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I went into a Dillman affiliated dojo and the instructor said that he and his students can block punches and kicks with chi....

    It gets better:

    So after I kick and punch his students with ease (of course he didn't offer to block them) he said I had a blockage in chi and that was why they couldn't block them...

    It gets even better:

    They were convinced that I only had a blockage in my arms and that they should be able to block my kicks.

    So after I send this poor student 6 feet the head instructor asks him.... "Well did his kick atleast slow down?!"

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    San Angelo, TX
    Posts
    2,470
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Sure we can go till tap" Me to a BJJ guy who wanted to roll last night. Punk knee barred the garbage out me. I am still limping.
    "Quiet fool before I am kicking the butt!"
    -My three year old trash talking to me

    "Integrity can't be bought or sold---you either have it or you don't."
    -The Honky Tonk Man

    "If you can't be a shining example, at least be a dire warning."
    -My Father to me one day

    "No surprise. Until Aikido sheds its street-brawling, thuggish image, it'll never be mainstream."
    -Don Gwinn

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    San Angelo, TX
    Posts
    2,470
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Because I have bad knees.
    "Quiet fool before I am kicking the butt!"
    -My three year old trash talking to me

    "Integrity can't be bought or sold---you either have it or you don't."
    -The Honky Tonk Man

    "If you can't be a shining example, at least be a dire warning."
    -My Father to me one day

    "No surprise. Until Aikido sheds its street-brawling, thuggish image, it'll never be mainstream."
    -Don Gwinn

  9. #9
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. hall of famestaff
    Stick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Washington DC. USA
    Posts
    7,949
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    From Mr. Cody Scott of some random kyokushin school in the Pawnee Nation in Oklahoma- though he's trying to start a class up here at OSU, over my dead body-, this was said after he'd had his ass handed to him on account of all the **** he talked and dissrespect he showed.

    "Wow, you guys sure train some good fighters up here. I like this; I only ever get to spar with my students."

    Seen better on the net, just thought I'd share a recent one from real life. I've got more, just this one stands out.

    Nice thread idea Phrost, me likey ^___^

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    199
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You can only imagine if you seize somebody, this will literly pull off body parts.

    The "grandmaster" Jim Lacey on his "Iron Claw" video after barely crushing an apple in his work out.

    http://ironpalm.com/IronClawDemo2of2...03SiteClip.wmv

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