A SHINING example of kung fu BULLSHIdo (warning: long)

[Mr. Mantis]

Originally posted by Blad3

You could make that into a movie scene lol.

Yeah, sounds like something right outta "Outside Providence." One of Alec Baldwin's best roles in my opinion. Right up there with Miami Blues.

[EternalRage]

I had a similar conversation with my dad once. Except the roles were flipped. I was a martial arts n00b at the time, taking TKD. I was fascinated by kung fu, especially the animal styles. My dad and I were watching a Hong Kong kung fu flick, and this is what we said:

Dad: Hows TKD
Me: Its OK. I would rather be learning kung fu.
Dad: I took TKD in Korea. That was OK. Stupid Americans can't teach TKD though.
Me: Should I quit?
Dad: What would you want to do instead?
Me: Animal Kung Fu
<Dad cracks up alot>
Me: What?
Dad: You're going to get killed someday if you tried to use that garbage.
Me: OK OK maybe some of the animals like crane or monkey won't work. Maybe the tiger?
Dad: You really think a bunch of people pretending to be animals can fight?
Me: I have a friend who does it and its really cool.
Dad: I used to get piss drunk with my friends in college. We would try and beat the **** out of each other. I learned more from that than any stupid martial arts class.
Me: I'll get the whisky...

Months Later when my dad comes to watch one of my TKD belt tests -
<At the break>
Dad: Why are there so many kids testing...
Me: I dunno
Dad: This is a carnival. A stupid circus. Thanks for wasting my Saturday. Told you these Americans couldn't teach TKD. So many kids...
<Walks out>

[Sam Browning]

CrashStitches totally owned his dad, that must be a weird feeling.

[Rikkert]

"MY DAD: TRUE KUNG FU
MY DAD: DEADLY"

Is your dad a caveman?

[CrashStitches]

He's not very computer-savvy. He types slow and obviously uses all caps.

Sometimes I think he actually IS a caveman. I guess the accumulation of prison time, drugs, and getting beat down by bouncers at strip clubs will do that to you.

[Dochter]

Somehow I can not picture ever having an IM conversation with my dad.

Err.. even if he wasn't dead.

[CrashStitches]

Originally posted by Chupacabra
that whole heart ripping out thing isn't totally bullshit......well at least not exactly.........

I think it could be possible if you had some freddy cruger gloves on and you stabbed into someones gut then when you got into it you slid your hand up BEHIND the rib cage i think it could possibly work.....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the heart kinda soft? Even if you managed to rip up and under the ribcage, find the heart, and get a solid grip on it, you'd still have to grab it with sufficient force to tear it away from the moorings. I think you'd be more likely to squash it than rip it out. You'd pull back a handful of ragged chunks and be highly disappointed.

And you'd stink.

Aim for something more readily acessible! Rip out your opponent's BLADDER! Or better yet, get his prostate!

[En]

CrashStitches, your dad is a robot. He would definatly not pass the Turing test.

Head for the hills.

[bushi51]

This thread is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.
Thanks,
Bushi

[Chupacabra]

Originally posted by CrashStitches
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the heart kinda soft? Even if you managed to rip up and under the ribcage, find the heart, and get a solid grip on it, you'd still have to grab it with sufficient force to tear it away from the moorings. I think you'd be more likely to squash it than rip it out. You'd pull back a handful of ragged chunks and be highly disappointed.

And you'd stink.

Aim for something more readily acessible! Rip out your opponent's BLADDER! Or better yet, get his prostate!

thats why you got the freddy cruger gloves on so you can cut it away from all that ****