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  1. FledglingTengu is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    217

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 10:52am


     Style: Extreme Ukemi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Toothpaste, Peetree, I thank you both.
  2. Chronomorte is offline
    Chronomorte's Avatar

    Lightweight

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Kansas, USA
    Posts
    289

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 11:41am

    supporting member
     Style: Jun Fan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Maybe he should go ahead and join for a little while, and we can take up a collection
    to pay the first month(?) fees. I'm in for a few bucks if I can paypal it.
    It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo -- Mitch Hedberg
  3. HAPKO3 is offline
    HAPKO3's Avatar

    Marasmos

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    SF
    Posts
    4,054

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 1:44pm

    supporting member
     Style: 10th Planet JJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    See if you can fail their whitebelt test.

    I mean, fall on your ass while executing a simple kick, get the horse stance all wrong, etc. I bet they wouldn't fail you no matter what you did.
    You say what about my rice?
  4. Ashe is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
    Posts
    133

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 2:26pm


     Style: Crosstraining/MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Notice that they weren't advertising the BEST instruction, just the most EXPENSIVE. Any business that trades on price instead of quality is on my suspect list from Day 1.

    Get the address of CORE and post it here. More importantly, plan an alternate exit scenario in case you need it. This whole process follows a pretty straightforward pattern of indoctrination used by many cults:

    1. Start by overawing the mark with boasts of "most expensive", "best woman MA in the country", and so forth. Impress them at all costs, even if it means doing stupid **** like teaching class in a 3-piece suit.

    2. Tell them how exclusive and selective you are, hammering home the point that you gotta be special just to get in the door. Immediately compliment them by saying that you "think they seem to be the right type" or that you "have a good feeling" about them. Convince them they might be one of the lucky few to be honored enough to receive an invitation to join.

    3. Teach them useless crap, but emphasize how deadly every aspect of it is. Amaze them with the mystery and power you are imparting to them in just the first few lessons, without any risk of them walking away with anything of use.

    4. Sidestep the issue of cost... emphasize how little money means to you, even though you charge more than anyone else. Make everything relative, not concrete.

    5. Use double-speak and circular logic consistently. Unable to figure out what the hell you are really saying (or not!), they will eventually give up trying and simply accept it all at face value.

    6. Keep the mark coming back over and over, and make sure they meet lots of bigwigs, and that they know how important and wonderful each bigwig is. Instill a sense of obligation to these people, so that the mark feels like they should keep coming back to jump through another hoop.

    7. Give the mark a Rite of Passage, in this case, a White Belt test in front of the high muckamuch him/herself. Impress upon the candidate that this will determine their fate. Make sure they feel it is up to them to perform for you, and not the other way around.

    8. Following the Rite of Passage, separate them from their comfort zone and take them to a strange place. Conveniently have some of the others join you and the mark. This will make them more vulnerable.

    9. Use the old carrot & stick approach... get'em to feel honored by the invitation, then get to the money. When they start to resist, work the guilt, back and forth until you have rights to their firstborn or at least one gonad. Get a signature.

    10. Invite them to keep coming back as they can afford it. Get as much as you can up front so they'll feel stupid if they drop out. Help them rationalize why they feel weird about it with your choice of shitty platitudes "To be the best sometimes costs the most," for example.

    After this, who cares? You've got them locked in and collected some fees up front. Give them shitty instruction with enough misinformation and they'll sell themselves on the effectiveness and wonder of the program from there on out.

    Hmmmm...

    Kinda makes me want to get all NINJA on some asses when I think about it! Of course, I mean "get all NINJA" in a www.realultimatepower.net sort of way that totally WAILS AND WREAKS HAVOC, not in a wussy Sho Kosugi kind of way.
  5. Dustdevil is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Dallas, Texas
    Posts
    96

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 2:28pm


     Style: Donkey Punch Do

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by Matsufubu
    You probably could, but it would be the most expensive video in the world.
    But damn well worth it! Maybe the local television news I-team can go pwn this place on camera! I am serious! If you take this story to them, they could do some great **** with it. Get some cult experts to comment on the techniques they use. Get a BBB spokesman to comment on the sales tactics. Get reputable MA instructors to comment on their instruction. This could be awesome!

    I want to see a vid cap of Mr_X with "pwn3d!!" stamped across his face and the FOX news logo in the corner! :D
  6. toothpaste100 is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    218

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 2:37pm


     Style: GJJ, Fencing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I can't wait until the meeting with the 8th dan in accounting and marketing, Mr. Amil Kohgudui.
  7. JKDChick is offline
    JKDChick's Avatar

    Senior Administrator

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    8,131

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 2:41pm

    staff
     Style: JKD, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by HAPKO3
    See if you can fail their whitebelt test.

    I mean, fall on your ass while executing a simple kick, get the horse stance all wrong, etc. I bet they wouldn't fail you no matter what you did.
    THIS is the best IDEA ever.
    Monkey Ninjas! Attack!
  8. katana is offline

    Capitalist Pig

    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    1,368

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 2:56pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ, no-gi, boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Originally posted by HAPKO3
    See if you can fail their whitebelt test.

    I mean, fall on your ass while executing a simple kick, get the horse stance all wrong, etc. I bet they wouldn't fail you no matter what you did.
    Great idea! Go to the test wearing a Karate Kid bandana on your head and warm up doing the "was on, wax off" drill.
  9. Phrost is offline
    Phrost's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 1998
    Location
    Cow Town
    Posts
    19,115

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 3:03pm

    Business Class Supporting Memberstaff
     Guy Who Pays the Bills and Gets the Death Threats Style: MMA (Retired)

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Seconded.
  10. Antagony is offline
    Antagony's Avatar

    Unemployed

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Central TX
    Posts
    1,919

    Posted On:
    6/02/2004 3:42pm

    supporting member
     Style: Filthy Jailhouse Tactics

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My erect penis anxiously awaits the next installment of OWNED BY BUNYIP.
    MY NAME IS ANTAGONY I SUCK AT COMBAT SPORTS KTHX

    "blahblahblah, but I don't think I'm going to train tonight."
    "Fag."
    "Well if that were true, then I'd really REALLY want to come train!"

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