Page 1 of 3 123 Last
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Helio Gracies Diary

    I searched, and I can't believe that this classic tale cannot be found here. Here is a link: http://www.stickgrappler.net/2001/06...y-entries.html



    Helio Gracie, Dec. 22, 1965

    Little Rickson wants a cosmonaut suit for Christmas. I don't have any idea where to get such a contraption so I tried to convince him to ask for something else. 'Ricky, wouldn't you like a firetruck instead?' 'No!', he shouted. 'Ricky, how about a toy cowboy rifle?' 'No! No! No!', he replied. So I explained to him that in outer space if you run out of air in your cosmonaut suit you will die. He still would not budge, so I put a plastic trash bag over his head and fastened it at the neck to demonstrate. He quickly asphyxiated and turned a blue color. After I revived him he no longer wants to be an cosmonaut. Helio Gracie


    Nov 22 1966,

    Ah, it's Thanksgiving time and the smell of springtime is in the air. All of the Gracies are visiting from far and near and a feeling of good cheer is in the air. Rickson asks me if we are having turkey this year. I answer, "My son, we do not eat meat, because it poisons your body and so this year we are having mashed potatoes, platanos and cranberry sauce." He then tells me that his American friends eat turkey every year and that they look very healthy. I fear that my son will soon become a meat eater so I go to our American friends house and I beat them all to death with a small club while they are sitting at the dining table. I then tell Rickson to go ahead and go try some Turkey at his friends house. Although he is young and curious I'm sure someday he will realize that meat is not good for you. Helio Gracie


    Brasilian Independence Day, 1965

    Today I celebrate my favorite day of the year. Rickson thought it 2 b a stupid holiday, so I figured I would teach him. I fried up a llama thigh & beat him unconcious with it and then explained calmly that if he didnt understand now he would have to watch me sodomize a pig. He understood, and we all had llama and coffee with Hugo Duarte's picture on the can. Helio Gracie
    Last edited by preschol; 4/10/2017 1:46pm at .

  2. #2
    ChenPengFi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Hawai'i
    Posts
    7,408
    Style
    Hung Gar, Choy Lay Fut
    4
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think you should reconsider that whole head butting thing.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Helio's checklist for Sunday August fourth, 1966:
    1. Wake up all children, by attacking them to toughen them up.
    2. Get Rorian to do laundry.
    3. Get Rorian to go shopping.
    4. Get Rorian to plow fields.
    5. Get Rorian to cut grass.
    6. Ask Rorian why he wants to move to America.
    7. Kill Carley's fucking horse.
    8. Fight for three hours again.
    9. Run children until they throw up.
    10. Claim I invented Jui Jitsu to another newspaper.
    11. Kill another Capoeira player--third one this week.
    12. Toughen forehead for headbutts by headbutting a cow to death.
    13. Hide dead cow from family--they are vegetarians.
    14. Teach children to butt-flop to guard again.
    15. Sue all other members of family for various reasons.
    16. Claim to have invented the Internet.
    17. Claim to have invented boxing, kicking, breathing, and running.
    18. Destroy all evidence of dresses I like to wear.
    19. After children finish running and puking, get Rorian to clean up puke.
    20. Ask Rorian why he is in such a bad mood all the time.
    21. Buy three hundrend pound gorilla so children can practice grappling with it.
    22. Call all my children pussies for not fighting hard enough.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ChenPengFi View Post
    I think you should reconsider that whole head butting thing.
    For disrespecting Helio, I am coming to your house to sodomize your pets. You will understand

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    July 27, 1965
    Today I caught Rickson sticking his fingers in my wallet whilst he thought I was sleeping. I snuck up behind him and quietly asked him what he was doing whilst ocncealing my building rage. He lied and said he was cleaning it. So I decided to teach young Rickson a lesson that I hoped would stick with him for life. I took 100 mouse traps and put a 5 dollar bill in each and placed them all over the house. I then told Rickson if he could find all the money in the house he could keep them. For the rest of the day I sat back, relaxed and enjoyed the melodious pops and screams whilst feeling that I had done my part to rid Rickson of his money greed. Again I felt kind of rightious in my own sadistic way.

    Now I only have to worry about rorion. That little douche bag keeps selling my silverware....

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    August 8, 1966
    Today, I take my revenge on Carley's horse. That damn horse ate all the vegetables out of my garden, forcing me to kill small woodland creatures, tear out their stomachs and feed my children with the vegetables the animals had nibbled on. I plan on challenging the horse to a no holds barred, no time limit fight. Helio Gracie.


    August 9, 1966
    Yesterday, I fought Carley's horse. Unfortunately, I only have on film 2 minutes of the 13 minute fight. Even though the horse eventually won, I did not tap out. The horse had to make me pass out. It is my conclusion, that had we been in the same weight class, I would have won the fight.


    August 10, 1966
    Last night, while that infernal beast of Carley's was sleeping, I crept into his corral with a large knife that I make Rorion cut down papayas with. I snuck up on the SOB and slashed open his stomach. I felt vindicated as I reclaimed the vegetables that he had stolen from me. Tomorrow I will notify the newspapers of my latest victory. Helio Gracie.

  7. #7
    BackFistMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Sinsinnatti Oh Hi Ho
    Posts
    13,528
    Style
    all things in Moderation
    4
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Please stop being an idiot and read the forum descriptions before starting a new thread.

    Moved from GenBS to YMAS
    Quote Originally Posted by ghost55 View Post
    Violence is pretty uncommon in clubs in this area, and the dude didn't seem particularly hostile up until the moment he slapped me.
    I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
    BILL HICKS,
    1961-1994

    Quote Originally Posted by WFMurphyPhD View Post
    Slamming the man in the bottom position from time to time keeps everybody on their toes and discourages butt scooting stupidity.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    September 4, 1954

    I am leaving for Japan tomorrow to fight that ***** Kimura. What a wuss. I can not believe that cretin thinks he can beat me. I could beat him with both hands tied behind my back. Had a good training session today. Wrestled a chicken before giving it to little Rickson with which to play. He killed the fucking chicken. I got so mad that I tied him to a chair, gutted the chicken, and put the chicken on his head. I left him there for an hour. God damn kids. Rorian cleaned out the stables again, damn does that boy complain--gonna have to kick his ass again. Little Royce almost drowned today, so to teach him a lesson I killed his pet snake. Helio

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    175
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    May 7, 1966

    Little Rickson learned a valuable lesson today. I find the biggest, meanest kid in town and lock him in the chicken coop with Rickson. I tell Rickson he no come out until he beat the bigger kid. Rickson took a beating for 2 days but finally big kid fell sleep. Little Rickson crawled on him and choked him dead while he was sleeping. I let him out and make him write 'No Time Limits' in his own blood 500 times.

  10. #10
    ermghoti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    OW, MY KNEE
    Posts
    4,641
    Style
    BJJ+Sanda
    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Smells like socks in here.
    "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasma
    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
    [quote=SoulMechanic]Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.[/[quote]

Page 1 of 3 123 Last

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in