Amnesia after a roll
The other night after my bjj class, my black belt paired me up with a purple belt, of about the same size, since we plan to do NAGA. (I'm a 4 stripe white belt that recently started to stfu and train)
I was expecting him to be like the other purple belts in class and just flow through techniques. Not the case.
I was hit with a tornado of techniques, sweeps, reversals, and submission attempts. I was doing everything in my power to escape and/or reverse. I felt like an alligator, I was having to roll around so much.
After, an unknown amount of time, our BB calls time. I'm in deep half guard bottom defending a collar and trying to sweep him, not sure how I got there. He starts laughing and gives me a high five and tells me "great job, that was a great roll!" I hear my BB tell me "good job"
All I could do was breathlessly mumble my thanks to both of them, and feel incredibly undeserving of their praise. I felt like a fraud for 2 reasons. First, I have never, in my life, been dominated like that. And second, I can not remember even half of what happened.
I sat there for a few seconds unable to remember most of the roll. I remembered being in inverted guard, escaping an arm bar, stuffing a berimbolo. But little else, including how I got in those positions.
Then I began to think their praise was just an act of kindness, and I truly didn't deserve it.
The last 3 weeks have been great for me, since I've shut my mouth, and just train. My instructors have been giving me more compliments and things seemed to be getting better. So I didn't want to ask my BB if it was normal to 'apparently' do well, but not remember it, and ruin the progress I've made.
So, is it just me, or is it normal to not be able to recall a heavy roll?
Beheaded? Not so much.
I get that too sometimes, where the details of the roll get really vague in your memory; I'll remember a position, a particular sweep or submission attempt, but beyond that it's like this foggy wall of Jitzing (read: me getting manhandled for a few minutes).
I'm not sure I'm the guy to be saying this, but to me, it can be hard to see the small victories in rolling if you don't squint your eyes a bit. It might seem like the roll was a complete domination (and let's face it, if a white belt *doesn't* get dominated when rolling with a purple belt, someone doesn't deserve their belt), but it's important to try and see whatever tiny things you accomplished. Maybe you got one good sweep in, you defended one submission really well (hell, recognizing and stuffing a berimbolo isn't nothing), and instructors often have an easier time seeing things like that than the student him/herself. I myself often feel that disconnect when I get up after a blue/purple belt makes me their bitch and they go "Great job!", but I guess they saw something they liked.
Then again, I'm a noob, so your milage may very well vary.
Congratulations, it sounds like you were in "the zone".
That's not amnesia.
Take the praise and aim for that feeling again, would be my suggestion.
I've never rolled that intense with someone that much better than me. Including during a competition.
But it was like he was hyped up on Mountain Dew, and all over me like a spider monkey. Things were going so fast, I wasn't able to think of what to do, but only react.
Definitely made me humble about the 'purple' belt. And the other purples I rolled with being nice and just flowing.
You survived, you should be congratulated. It's all I hope for when I roll with the upper belts
I've had amnesia after rolling. Word to the wise: Check your underwear for vaseline stains if you can't remember how you ended up face down on the curb outside the gym.
Originally Posted by ChenPengFi
During the roll with the purple, you reacted faster than you could record your movements to memory. This signifies you have committed those techniques to muscle memory level. You may not feel great about your performance, but consider the fact that you did not get subbed over and over again. You survived and reacted in a positionally relevant manner for a significant time during the roll.
The purple and your instructor saw this and subsequently knew you've been learning and working in class.
Now please continue to stfu and train.