Thread: MMA 'Facts'
1/08/2014 2:35pm, #1
1/08/2014 8:19pm, #2
Those were pretty good. But now, let's get retarded:
- Art Jimmerson has fought four known MMA fighters/kickboxers in his career: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Royce Gracie, William Knorr, and Arthur Williams. Out of the group, he only managed to defeat Knorr.
- Not counting Oleg Taktarov's worked nine second guillotine choke victory over Anthony Macias at UFC 6, the record for the fastest UFC submission is tied between Joe Charles (Armbar over Kevin Rosier at UFC 4) and Justin Martin (Ankle lock over Eric Martin at UFC 12) at fourteen seconds.
- At least two future sexual offenders were involved with UFC 1: Pat Smith (Sexual assault on a child in 1999) and John Nimock (Listed as the "Wrestling Consultant" in the credits. Apparently was a high school wrestling coach who was arrested in 2000 after exposing children to pornography and wrestling with them in their underwear).
- Boxer Jerry Bell was the first known fighter to compete in MMA with HIV:
- Jonathan Wiezorek entered his UFC 47 bout against Wade Shipp with a broken back and won. Because he had refused to tell the promoters of his situation in order to prevent the fight from being scrapped, however, he ended up not being invited back to fight again because they thought his performance was awful.
- Marcus Marriott Lee was a Pagua stylist and 2-2-0 boxer who was once slated to fight in the main draw of UFC 6. Had he competed that night, he would've been the first fighter in UFC history to come out of the UK. While bouncing at a nightclub in 2005, he killed an unruly patron with a single punch and was jailed for three years after being convicted of manslaughter.
- Ring announcer Rich Goins was forced to part ways with the UFC after contracting scabies from Dan Severn following sexual intercourse.
- Although pure boxers Art Jimmerson, Melton Bowen, and Sam Adkins went down relatively quickly in their UFC forays, 13-3-0 Latvian cruiser/heavyweight Yuri Vaulin managed to last the full fifteen minute round against 6th degree BJJ blackbelt and Marco Ruas student Joe Moreira. In boxing, Vaulin was most famous for giving Tommy Morrison a tough fight before succumbing to the future WBO champion's body blows. At UFC 14, Moereira rested in the mount position for the entire duration of the fight and initiated zero offense.
The Brazilian won the decision but was somehow diagnosed with a concussion before his tournament finale with Olympic gold medalist wrestler Kevin Jackson. It's unclear if Moreira had lied about his injury to avoid the next fight, if he had entered the tournament with a concussion in the first place, or if Vaulin had used telekinesis to pop a vein inside the Brazilian's head. Either way, the intriguing clash between a world-class wrestler and BJJ player was scrapped and Jackson fought Tony Fryklund instead.
Years later, PitFighter Delta Jackson would seek out the mentorship of Professor Moreira and model his vaunted top game after the Brazilian's.
1/08/2014 8:44pm, #3"So, yeah, Zen teachers may well insult you, work you to the bone, hit you with sticks, shout verbal abuse at you, and punch the **** out of you.
And when the ****'s been punched out of you, you might just find that you're far better-off without it." - Vieux Normand
"So in short, BJJ wins again. BJJ, and chainmail." - TheMightyMcClaw
"On bullshido, your opinions are not sacred, neither are your feelings." - Scrapper
"You entered the lions' den. Don't bitch if you get eaten." - danniboi07
"Needless to say, it's much easier to clear a bunch of drunk kids out of your house when you're yelling GTFO and carrying a samurai sword." - DerAuslander
"Eventually, I realized it doesn't matter what art you train, what matters is the method in which you train. Training in an alive manner, under skilled and qualified instruction, is the single most important aspect of gaining martial skill. All else is window dressing." - JNP : Saying it how it is!
1/08/2014 9:01pm, #4
1/08/2014 9:36pm, #5
To simplify things, the UFC promoters essentially behaved like the fedora-hat-wearing gangsters who were in charge of boxing back in the 1920's. They basically felt they could do whatever they wanted because they had the money and the goons (Tank Abbott and friends) to back them up. Women, especially ring girls, were passed around with alarming frequency. Wealthy Taekwondo fighter and nude steakhouse owner Andy Anderson was supposedly allowed a spot in UFC 5 because he had pimped several of his girls to Campbell McLaren.
The Dan Severn/Rich Goins encounter was the most notorious incident I've heard of and supposedly led to the disbandment of the "clique." Following UFC 11, Goins was cornered by Severn in a car somewhere in Augusta, Georgia and sexually assaulted. Goins didn't go into too much detail, but from what I can gather he didn't manage to escape in time. Severn was a part of the "clique" and had apparently approached Goins at the afterparty earlier that evening, but was initially rebuked. Meyrowitz and the rest of SEG were shocked at Severn's actions but were forced to do as little as possible in order to avoid bringing any more negative attention to the fledgling sport. It's unclear if Goins had kept quiet for all these years due to a payoff or his own embarrassment.
Judging from what else I've read about the man, I don't think this was the only time Severn had done something like that.
1/08/2014 9:59pm, #6
1/08/2014 10:01pm, #7
Goins' predicament reminds me of what Sugar Ray Leonard had to go through:
Sexual assault is tragically more common than one would expect in the sports and entertainment industries. Usually children are the ones targeted, but even fully grown men like The G-Man can fall victim.
I can't find it on the internet it's awesome you know insider stuff like this. To think this guy managed Don Frye but I guess Frye said who cares he can't pull that crap with me so whatever...
No idea if Frye knew, but he did have to go through some **** with manager Buddy Albin. Albin apparently had gotten Coleman into UFC 10 just to get revenge on Frye for having fired him. Albin was also apparently responsible for Macias throwing his fight against Taktarov in UFC 6. Outside of the "clique," he was probably the seediest guy involved with the UFC and had control over a great deal of fighters.
Just to let you know, much like the demon Pazuzu, I like to mix lies with truth.
Last edited by Holy Moment; 1/08/2014 10:10pm at .
1/09/2014 4:07am, #8
1/09/2014 7:01am, #9
In case anyone missed it and want more this is a series of vids and here's the second.
HolyMoment needs to do his own red pill/blue pill version, knowing the internet it would soon become part of alot of peoples realities. Hail Discordia.
1/09/2014 6:40pm, #10
- Joel Sutton, a Praying Mantis kung-fu fighter, earned a 2-0-0 UFC record after defeating Aikidoka Jack McLaughlin in UFC 6 and pro-wrestler/Dan Severn sparring partner Geza Kalman in UFC 7. He was perhaps the last big hope for the traditional martial arts community to win an event, but never ended up fighting in the main draw of a tournament. In his next four fights outside of the UFC, he lost every time in less than two minutes. He finished his career with a draw in 1999.
- Geza Kalman was a Canadian professional wrestler who had initially contacted Dan Severn to learn some shootfighting holds to incorporate into his performance style. After becoming his sparring partner, however, he ended up taking an offer to fight as a UFC tournament alternate and accumulated a 1-1-0 record in the promotion. His last professional MMA fight was in 2008.
- Pressure point stylist Ryan Parker was perhaps the first MMA fighter to actively participate in internet discussions regarding himself. Prior to his UFC 7 loss to Remco Pardoel, he spent months and months discussing the intricacies of his style and how he could use Chi to win a fight. The application video he sent to the UFC promoters featured him enduring strikes to his groin and throat without exhibiting pain, much like the Combat Kiai people we see nowadays. Against the Dutchman, he put up very little fight and was choked out easily.
- The Lions Den fighter who had initially sent in an application for UFC 1 was Ken Shamrock's student Scott Bessac. He eventually got into the UFC two years later after accumulating a 3-4-0 record in Pancrase.
- Nail trimming became standard pre-fight before every UFC event after Trent Jenkins cut Jason DeLucia's face with his toenail in UFC 1. That's the grand contribution to the sport from modern MMA's most mysterious pioneer. Last I heard he was working for the Denver Nuggets. Somebody, please track him down.
Interesting to note that, despite never having won an MMA match, he did dominate KOTC veteran Tyson Johnson to a draw in a cage-boxing match at the Bas Rutten Invitational.
- Heavyweight TUF 2 veteran Brad Imes scored two consecutive Gogoplata victories a month apart back in 2007. His victims were Kimbo sacrifice Bo Cantrell and TUF 10's Jason Thacker, Zak Jensen.
- Zak Jensen killed a man with his bare hands prior to TUF 10 and ejaculated on the shower floor during the course of the show. Wes Sims stepped in his semen. This is a truthful entry.
- Roger Moore beat up Lee Marvin during the filming of Shout at the Devil.
- Jose Canseco was once slated to fight Rodney King in a Celebrity Boxing match. Before he died, King accumulated a 2-0-0 Celebrity Boxing record, one victory of which came against a disgraced ex-police officer.
I'm talking about the black dude who got beat up, by the way, not the Crazy Monkey guy.
- Royce Gracie's UFC 1 victory dinner was some Ritz crackers and apple juice he got from a 7-11.
- Relson Gracie was accused of repeatedly exposing himself to Royce's opponents before walk-ins in order to disrupt their mental games.
- Mike Bernardo was, of course, a K-1 legend who had died in 2012. Another prominent martial artist from the 90's, however, shared his name and caused quite a bit of confusion back in the day. Stunt man Michael Bernardo starred in Shootfighter: Fight to the Death alongside Bolo Yeung and played Turbo in WMAC Masters. Because their respective careers both took off sometime around 1995, people sometimes expected to see Turbo Bernardo fighting in K-1.
- Andy Anderson and Paul Herrera actually got into a bar fight in Japan, which Anderson won. Herrera was one of Tank Abbott's cronies, but Abbott let his friend take his lumps without retribution because he had started it.
- Harold Howard almost knocked himself out walking into a piece of lighting equipment prior to his fight with Steve Jennum.
- Steve Jennum was supposed to fight Ken Shamrock in the semi-finals of UFC 3, but Felix Lee Mitchell got put in instead when the promoters couldn't find Jennum in the crowd. Jennum thought he had fucked up his only opportunity, but the lucky bastard hit the jackpot twice that night.
- Felix Lee Mitchell's was advertised in the UFC 3 trailers as "America's Toughest Prison Warden." His favorite tactic was reaching into his opponent's cup and banging on his testicles. He did that to Ken Shamrock and also appeared to try it against Judoka Robert Lalonde. All he managed to achieve with Lalonde, however, was exposing his buttocks and prompting catcalls from female members of the IFC audience. This is a truthful entry.