232505 Bullies, 3958 online  
  • Register
Our Sponsors:

Results 1 to 10 of 17
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Sponsored Links Spacer Image
  1. strikistanian is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Boston, Massachusetts
    Posts
    535

    Posted On:
    1/26/2014 10:25pm


     Style: Cage Fu

    7
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    "Seemed like a good idea at the time..."

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	POlar_facepalm.jpg 
Views:	72 
Size:	19.7 KB 
ID:	15838

    Sometimes when you're in the heat of (proverbial) battle -- between the adrenaline-fueled ****-storm of emotion, sensation, and inclination -- you have a moment of clarity. For a moment, everything slows down; the shroud of doubt and uncertainty is lifted, and the path to victory becomes clear before you. You know exactly what you need to do, and now is the time to do it!

    It doesn't work. You fail epically. You facepalm whenever you think about it.

    This is the thread to share stories of times you tried something in competition (or sparring) that seemed like an AWESOME idea at the time... but was completely stupid in hindsight.

    I'll start with two of my favorites:

    Finals of NAGA Expert Division, facing a leglock ninja who I've seen take home gold every time for years. I know my only chance is to get on top and play a tight game. I shoot for a takedown, which he stuffs easily. Oh god, why?! I try again and he defends once more.

    The end of his previous match, in which he lands a prefect flying scissor takedown to heel hook finish, flashes before my eyes. I can't go out like that... I can't! But the longer I fail to get him down, the higher the chance he Ryo Chonan's my ass!

    I shoot once more and we end up in a clinch. No! It's gonna happen! **** this, I'm pulling guard!

    ... Wait, what? So I jump guard (which I never do, so I'm really bad at). Leglock Ninja keeps his standing base, looks at me quizzically, smirks, then spins into a kneebar, transitions into a heel hook, and graciously releases me as I tap the mat frantically. Whoops.

    And then there's my most recent goof, which worked out better in the end, but was still cringe worthy.

    It's the third round of an EPIC MMA fight between me and a top-ranked 7-1 prospect fighting out of the Blackzillians camp. I have no idea what's going on in terms of the scorecards, but I'm probably behind. I just botched a guillotine attempt, my back is kind of against the cage, but I'm turning to get this fight back to the feet ASAP. He reaches around my back over my shoulder and it's then that the combined spirits of Karo Parisyan, Gene Lebell, and Jigoro Kano suddenly take command of my mortal frame!

    Both of my hands secure my opponent's arm to the crook of my neck and shoulder, and with all of my might, I hurl that shoulder diagonally down to the mat! DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back. WOMP!

    So yeah, share your stories so that we may all laugh at one another's expense!
  2. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    936

    Posted On:
    1/26/2014 11:56pm


     Style: MMA

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I don't have much to draw on, but one incident that took place during light sparring comes to mind. I was sparring someone who had much better timing than I did, and was also more flexible, and thus he was completely controlling the fight (I am still very new Muay Thai). After a solid two minutes of me wondering "how the **** am I going to touch this guy?" I had a "brilliant revelation. I just had to get in nice and close, thus negating his timing and flexibility advantage. What could possibly go wrong. I clinch up. Then I notice that his arms kinda resemble anacondas. He grabs my head, and shoves it straight down. My neck felt awful for about a week and a half after that. Just sitting down hurt for like three days.
  3. DKJr is offline
    DKJr's Avatar

    Fasten your seat belts, and prepare for lift off

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Richmond, VA
    Posts
    3,214

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 12:07am

    supporting member
     Style: Combat Cuddling

    6
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This guy I'm facing won a 16 man brown belt invitational last week all by toe hold so what do I do, takedown and smash on top? lol Nope trade leglocks. Live by the sword, die by the sword I suppose.


  4. FinalLegion is online now
    FinalLegion's Avatar

    Welterweight

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    745

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 3:22am

    supporting member
     Style: Shotokan

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    About 10 years ago, I was attending a gaming convention. On the list of activities, I saw that there was going to be a kenjutsu demonstration given by Sensei Tony Kull and some of his students. After the demo, he invited people up and gave us some short lessons which included drawing the sword and some basic defenses. He then brought out several shinai and invited us to pair up and drill while he looked on.

    So, of course, I ask if I can pair up with Sensei Kull. He was very pleasant and went through the moves with me, stopping to correct and while he was kind in his attitude, he was direct in approach. After we did this for a little while, he asked if I had any exposure to kenjutsu before this. I told him that I had a little experience with kendo. He said that was good and that he thought I should get back into it. I asked him if we could continue the session or does he have to go, he says no, but let's change up partners.

    So I pair off with this guy who is about 6'1". Now I'm only 5'6", but I'm feeling invincible 'cause I was just sparring with Sensei. This guy may be bigger than me but he is gonna feel THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, ************!

    I rear up with a two handed over-head strike, kiai like a banshee and charge!!

    And that's why about 2 seconds later I was sitting on my ass, wondering why the world was all fuzzy, why my face hurt so much and why some guy was kneeling next to me saying, "Dude! I'm sorry! Are you alright?!?!" Someone finally found my glasses, Sensei Kull took a look at me, decided I had enough for one day and put an ice pack on my face.

    Lesson learned.
    Last edited by FinalLegion; 1/27/2014 3:26am at .
  5. ermghoti is online now
    ermghoti's Avatar

    Middleweight

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    OW, MY KNEE
    Posts
    2,336

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 8:31am

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ+Sanda

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    That is an awesome turn of phrase. Respect, and LOL.

    I got nothing, I suck too much to have ideas.
    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
  6. Permalost is offline
    Permalost's Avatar

    pro nonsense self defense

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    12,683

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 2:40pm

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    At the SDGI tournament, I attempted to do a spinning back kick to a charging opponent. In fact I had success in knocking people down with the same kick at the tournament the previous year. But for some reason, I didn't turn my head to look over my opposite shoulder- I kept my gaze straight at my opponent as my body spun, extending my left leg out as I looked over my right shoulder. Its a very awkward way to kick, but I felt a little better about it when I learned its a kick in taekyon. Anyway, it landed solidly to the gut like I wanted it to.
  7. Bneterasedmynam is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    illinois
    Posts
    2,236

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 4:27pm


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid **** whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.
  8. ghost55 is online now
    ghost55's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Munich, Germany
    Posts
    936

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 4:42pm


     Style: MMA

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bneterasedmynam View Post
    I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid **** whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.
    Can you be more specific about the game and the moves? I mean there is a difference between attempting to hadoken, or just trying a scissor-leg takedown the way Scorpion does it.
  9. goodlun is online now
    goodlun's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Ramona
    Posts
    5,575

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 5:29pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: BJJ

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    dropping Judo at a damn good Judo school to go learn "Karate" (they had like 10 styles that megared and taught) at a strip mall dojo it was a "Martial Arts Academy" yeah that was about the dumbest **** I had ever done.
    Yep world of great grappling to no contact strip mall karate **** you 11 year old self. Also **** you all you late 80s early 90s movies that made that **** look like a good idea.
  10. BKR is offline
    BKR's Avatar

    My dog is cuter and smarter than yours.

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Bonners Ferry, Idaho
    Posts
    5,096

    Posted On:
    1/27/2014 5:39pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kodokan Judo

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I've got quite a few from Judo competition.

    This one is kinda long winded but funny. Once upon a time (early '90s?) I went to a shiai in Mississippi. This was a special shiai, because it was part of an outdoor, camp-out in the woods by a lake kind of martial arts camp. Mind you, I didn't go to the camp, just to the shiai to referee and then compete. In any case, I get there, and being Mississippi (southern) in some hot part of the year (always pretty much), I'm very glad I didn't camp out.

    So, the shiai venue is set up...you guessed it, outside. Nice level piece of ground, chairs all around, really pretty cool. Until I took off my shoes (as a referee) to inspect the mats for cracks and other dangerous features. There wasn't any shade...so the mats had been in the burning Mississippi sun all morning...I right away jumped off. I felt like I had stepped onto a hot skillet !

    So I go to the tournament/camp director and explain. He checks it out, and agrees no way can we have bare footed kids doing judo 1. In the sun and 2. On broiler temp mats.

    Next, we look around for some shade. There is a large tree of some sort about 100 yards away. So we get some help and set up the mats in the shade cast by the tree. Problem is, it's not level ground (bumpy) and on a slope !

    Well, the show must go on, and despite my warnings of liability blah blah blah, we have our shiai on sloping, bumpy ground on fold out gym mats. Rebel Yell !

    Things go well, and it comes my turn to compete. I'm a black belt already, and it's an open weight/rank men's division. I do well, my typical seoi nage and kouchi stuff, plus a couple of arm bars. It's still blazing hot, and I feel more like an imagined samurai grappling on the battlefield than a judoka, but what the hell, right ?

    So for first and second place it comes down to me another black belt. He's special, being maybe 5'10 and 250 pounds, with me at 5'7 and 145 lbs. No worries, though, he was slow as a slug. Not unskilled, but not impressive to my young (late 20s) judoka mind.

    Match starts, and I throw him for a waza ari with seoi otoshi. We dance/lumber/stagger around a bit, end up in a scramble on the ground. I have the bright idea to do what is now called "recover guard" and of course, I'm confident he'll stick his arm above my waist like most unsophisticated judoka, and I'll armbar him from (what was then not known) as guard. ***

    So I maneuver, set him up, here comes the arm, right according to plan. Wait, what's wrong ? I can't move ! What the **** ? This huge sweating whale is in my guard, which I can't seem to "open", and I cant' really move...

    It seems I had rolled into a depression in the hills and dales of the folding mat, caused by the uneven ground (and not a few tree roots) under it. Whale-man gets this evil look on his face, and lays his large gut onto my chest, grabs my arm, and performs the Ude Garami **** from hell on me. It was pure shoulder, no elbow, and in any case I was tapping right away.

    So I get a silver medal, a bad sunburn, and a sore shoulder for my 3 hour trip to Bumfuck, MS and my cockiness.




    *** I realize you "younger" guys and gals think that there was no such thing as "armbar from guard" in Judo until the Gracies hit the scene and we judoka stole the idea from them, then claimed it for our own. But I assure it did exist and was done. By me at least !

    **** Another technique we stole from BJJ/GJJ, LOL !
    Falling for Judo since 1980
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Powered by vBulletin™© contact@vbulletin.com vBulletin Solutions, Inc. 2011 All rights reserved.