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  1. #1
    Styygens's Avatar
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    Holiday Self Defense Skills

    A quick round-up of how to use common objects in your Holiday environment as self defense tools. Let's be careful out there!

    The best method of breaking a beer bottle for all your holiday brawls:
    http://io9.com/the-best-method-of-br...our-1488439205

    Take an open beer bottle filled to within two inches of the top with liquid firmly by the neck. Hold it in front of you. Then thwap it hard with the heel of your free hand. The bottom should neatly break off of the bottle, leaving a long weapon with a jagged side that you can brandish while screaming, "You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me, huh? You don't call the lightning if you don't wanna face the thunder!"
    What? You need a video? Sure...



    Here's an express version with fewer katana in the background:


    What tips do you have? Anyone know how to turn a string of non-functional Christmas lights into a tool of mayhem?

  2. #2
    Chili Pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Styygens View Post
    The best method of breaking a beer bottle for all your holiday brawls:
    I was at a party many years ago where this was demonstrated. Occasionally the bottle will decide to split up the side, rather than out the bottom.

  3. #3

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    A fruitcake in a Christmas stocking makes an excellent impact weapon.

  4. #4
    W. Rabbit's Avatar
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    What is the point of these bottle breaking videos, other than the sadists watching hoping to see a lacerated artery on Youtube for Christmas?

    I am a walking Christmas self defense arsenal.

    My body is so infested with stomach virus that anyone who comes within 5 feet of me is asking for fever, cramps, and vomit for the holidays.


  5. #5
    Styygens's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CapnMunchh View Post
    A fruitcake in a Christmas stocking makes an excellent impact weapon.
    I'm sure that's a Steven Seagal approved improvised weapon.


  6. #6

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    Forget beer bottles, if you really want sharp glass just break some of these fucking things.:

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CapnMunchh View Post
    A fruitcake in a Christmas stocking makes an excellent impact weapon.
    How do you suplex him? belly to back?

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Styygens View Post
    I'm sure that's a Steven Seagal approved improvised weapon.

    Seagal uses a sharpened Walmart gift card to slice the throat.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bneterasedmynam View Post
    Forget beer bottles, if you really want sharp glass just break some of these fucking things.:
    Pull off the top, fill them with gas, use some stocking for a wick, light 'er up and throw it -- will take out one of those assholes in front of the grocery store playing offkey carols on their trumpet.
    Last edited by CapnMunchh; 12/26/2013 12:02pm at .

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by erezb View Post
    How do you suplex him? belly to back?
    Every time I hear gay jokes around here it worries me somebody's gonna start posting bad gay porn again.

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