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  1. Muerteds is offline

    Registered Member

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    Nov 2008
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    Honolulu, HI (Hawaii Kai)
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    Posted On:
    12/06/2013 11:29pm


     Style: Itinerant Wanderer

    7
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    It is time for the Warrior Dash nonsense once again!

    Name:  10764.1760225756.custom.jpg
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    You know it had to happen soon. The mud. The pain. The ridiculous sight of a fat man in a tin can. The Warrior Dash is returning to Hawaii in February, and, once again, I'm doing it as a St. Jude Warrior.

    What's that mean? It means that you, yes you, have the chance to make my life miserable for a day! For donations to St. Jude, I will do stupid human tricks for you. I have worn capes, dyed my hair, rolled in used shoes, shouted praises for all to hear, been gussied up with make-up, and done hundreds of push-ups- all in the name of donations. As before, if I can get donations up to $500, I'll do this whole thing in chain mail. If I can get up to $750, I'll do it in plate armor.

    Do I deliver? See the above picture. Just tell me what you'd like me to do and we'll figure out what an appropriate donation should be. This is a great chance to make me suffer for the coming months of training in armor for 3 miles, 12 obstacles, mud, fire, jungle-level humidity, and the ever present clanking of steel. Donate to punish me, and help some little kids who need all the help they can get.
  2. Bluto Blutarsky is offline

    Senior Member

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    NYC!
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    Posted On:
    12/07/2013 2:22am


     Style: Mostly drinking. E-chaun

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I fail to recognize anything with mud that doesn't involve hot chicks wrestling each other naked in it.
  3. Holy Moment is offline
    Holy Moment's Avatar

    Light Heavyweight

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    Shitsville
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    Posted On:
    12/07/2013 7:35am

    supporting member
     Style: Wrestling

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    How much for you to bear crawl the entire event (Sans obstacles) with tape over your mouth?
  4. hungryjoe is offline
    hungryjoe's Avatar

    Light Heavyweight

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    Posted On:
    12/07/2013 8:47am

    supporting member
     Style: judo hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Deadline for donations?
  5. ermghoti is online now
    ermghoti's Avatar

    Middleweight

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    OW, MY KNEE
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    Posted On:
    12/09/2013 9:45am

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ+Sanda

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I will donate five American dollars if you eat three doses of Exlax ten minutes before start time.
    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
  6. Muerteds is offline

    Registered Member

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    Nov 2008
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    Honolulu, HI (Hawaii Kai)
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    Posted On:
    12/09/2013 7:22pm


     Style: Itinerant Wanderer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    How much for you to bear crawl the entire event (Sans obstacles) with tape over your mouth?
    Not going to lie- that one will hurt. Last year I accepted $250 to do 50 push-ups after every obstacle. The last couple sets were done primarily on my knees, despite the will to look pretty in front of a crowd. 3 miles of bear-crawling seems damn near impossible, so I tell ya what, I'll do it for $1,000. If that is too large a donation, they make mileage markers. We can negotiate a lesser distance to make you happy.
  7. Muerteds is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    12/09/2013 7:26pm


     Style: Itinerant Wanderer

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by hungryjoe View Post
    Deadline for donations?
    The Warrior Dash is on February 22. Functionally, the site is equipped to handle donations in perpetuity, even after the race. That's because St. Jude doesn't want to cut off the possibility for donations for the price of a pittance of bandwidth.

    However, since my race heat is 1100, I would say that if you want me to do something fun for you, let me know at least by the day before the race, just so I can get it ready. The more involved it is, the more lead time I might need.
  8. Muerteds is offline

    Registered Member

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    Nov 2008
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    Posted On:
    12/09/2013 7:29pm


     Style: Itinerant Wanderer

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ermghoti View Post
    I will donate five American dollars if you eat three doses of Exlax ten minutes before start time.
    Heh. If you really want me to do something painful (or in this case, painful to the bystanders), you're going to have to open up your wallet a little more than that. I don't mind being a whipping boy, but there's got to be some good done out of it.
  9. ermghoti is online now
    ermghoti's Avatar

    Middleweight

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    OW, MY KNEE
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    Posted On:
    12/09/2013 10:01pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ+Sanda

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Muerteds View Post
    Heh. If you really want me to do something painful (or in this case, painful to the bystanders), you're going to have to open up your wallet a little more than that. I don't mind being a whipping boy, but there's got to be some good done out of it.
    YOU USED TO BE COOL, MAN!
    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
  10. Vieux Normand is offline

    Senior Member

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    Jun 2007
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    Posted On:
    12/10/2013 12:07pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: 血鷲

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by ermghoti View Post
    ...eat three doses of Exlax ten minutes before start time.
    *looks at terrain in the OP's pic*

    Um...didn't all the contestants do this?
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