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  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The New Dragon: OT

    So, we have our new street-writing thread (as inspired by ghost's tortured foray into mediocre MMA fiction) and it seems to be off to a pretty good start! But. . .

    It would probably get even better if we had a separate thread close at hand, where we can propose ideas and discuss characters/events/settings/etc. without having to either actually make a complete post or interrupt the ongoing story.

    So, here. Have a thought to throw at a writer more talented than yourself? Or maybe some praise? Or anything? Here.

  2. #2
    Holy Moment's Avatar
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    Given the opportunity, the ultimate direction I'd take the story in would see Severn become the main antagonist. He'd pretend to help the Triads, but would try to manipulate the war to cause massive losses on both sides so he could swoop in and claim New Jersey as his own (And eliminate Delta Jackson, his most bitter enemy, in the process).



    The Triads and PitFighters perhaps would figure out this ruse, settle their differences, and team up to take the Beast down.

    Severn actually already has a hit out on Jackson, but so far his enemy has proven to be a ghost:

    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...=1#post2838251

    Part of the problem is that, unbeknownst to Severn, the true mecca of Underground PitFighting is actually located in Englishtown:

    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...=1#post2820679

  3. #3

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    We've had like 5 submissions thus far, and it's already turning into this mess of alliances and power-plays that would make George R. R. Martin proud. I'm not really sure how the hell to get my basement ninjers involved in the story, but I'm hoping to have one of them get sodomized to death by Dan Severn, prompting the other to try taking up *actual* martial arts in an effort to avenge him.

  4. #4
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    A skeptical martial artist is enthusiastically told about an internal martial arts master who really does have magical chi fighting powers. He figures he'll dojo storm this guy and beat his face in.

    He arrives at the dojo during the tai chi class. The barefoot class moves synchronized in slow motion, with serene smiles on their faces as an ipod plays erhu music.

    "I challenge you to a gong sau!" our hero proclaims.

    The tai chi teacher, unphased, asks him to remove his shoes and step on the mat. The teacher smiles, and begins humming while extending his hands towards the challenger. As he slides his mouthpiece in and shakes out his limbs a bit, the master's hum takes on a deep bass tone and it gets so loud it drowns out every other sound. The challenger falls to the ground with his hands on his ears, and when he looks up, all he can see is the master standing and smiling. Everything else has become swirling, incomprehensible fractals of rainbow spacetime. The master laughs at the sight of his foe, helps him off the mat, and sits him down.

    The challenger instantly bows to the ground at the master's feet and implores him to let him be his student. He renounces all his former training. The master smiles and accepts.

    As everyone leaves the kwoon, the master mops the mats with his concentrated solution of DMSO and a synthetic tryptamine cocktail.

  5. #5
    ghost55's Avatar
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    I was thinking the Ninjers would show up, see a challenge match, and end up getting sent by Reyes to train under Jason Delucia. Bonus points for one of them getting sodomized to death by Severn in the process (hopefully Chris, I mean whatever-san)/ Also I was thinking of having Reyes distrust Severn, and potentially try to call Delta Jackson and warn him that Severn was up to something, thus playing them off of each other. For what it's worth, I think the story is already much more exciting then Shadowboxer.

  6. #6
    Ho Ho Homoplata's Avatar
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    Intelligible narratives are for pussies.
    "Your body must be like a stone, your mind... like a meatloaf."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasma
    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.

  7. #7
    goodlun's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think a Bruce Lee nut huger is needed somewhere
    Of the single rapier fight between valiant men, having both skill, he that is the best wrestler, or if neither of them can wrestle, the strongest man most commonly kills the other, or leaves him at his mercy.
    –George Silver, Paradoxes of Defence

  8. #8
    My dog is cuter and smarter than yours. Join us... or die
    BKR's Avatar
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    Maybe work these guys into some of the training scenes ?



    Falling for Judo since 1980

    "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

  9. #9
    My dog is cuter and smarter than yours. Join us... or die
    BKR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodlun View Post
    I think a Bruce Lee nut huger is needed somewhere
    Falling for Judo since 1980

    "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

  10. #10
    goodlun's Avatar
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    A little real life inspiration they shod be fighting to get the money together to save
    http://www.bjpenn.com/mark-coleman-s...medical-bills/
    Mark "the Hammer" Coleman
    Of the single rapier fight between valiant men, having both skill, he that is the best wrestler, or if neither of them can wrestle, the strongest man most commonly kills the other, or leaves him at his mercy.
    –George Silver, Paradoxes of Defence

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