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  1. Chili Pepper is offline
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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 5:50pm


     Style: Siling Labuyo Arnis

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Permalost View Post
    Another martial arts parent pet peeve: parents who get their kids into martial arts to develop discipline in them.
    yep. There's a reason I stopped teaching kids, closing in on 20 years ago now.
  2. NeilG is online now
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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 6:12pm


     Style: Kendo

    4
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    As an instructor, here's my pet peeve: put your kids into class because they want to be there, not because you want them to be there for whatever reason. There's a difference between a shove to get your kid off the couch and active and forcing him to be somewhere he hates.
  3. SpinKiK is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 6:50pm


     Style: Karate

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Nice guideline. As an instructor for 13 years, I know that parents come in all types. In my experience, most parent complaints are a result of miscommunication. It's important to keep in mind that things that seems obvious to us based on our experience are not always obvious to parents. Especially in TMA, there are a lot of "unspoken" rules, and in grappling arts, there are a lot of things that seem brutal and/or unfair that really aren't.

    But it seems silly to me not to teach kids just because of a few bad ones. Teaching kids is very rewarding and most kids (and parents) are not that bad.
    Edit- C Pepper: I don't want you to think I was talking about you, that was a general statement and not aimed at you specifically.
  4. Bneterasedmynam is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:28pm


     

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Devil, your post should be required reading at all dojos by law.
  5. Nefron is offline
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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:41pm


     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by NeilG View Post
    As an instructor, here's my pet peeve: put your kids into class because they want to be there, not because you want them to be there for whatever reason. There's a difference between a shove to get your kid off the couch and active and forcing him to be somewhere he hates.
    While I was training sport JJ, there was an older high ranking Judo coach that sometimes did our classes. He was pretty badass, universally respected and had great technique and teaching skills. However, his children were at home anywhere but the gym. The younger one was your typical noisy kid that couldn't concentrate on anything for more than few seconds.

    The real WTF was the older one. He was a few years younger than me, like begging high school at the time. A pretty cool guy outside the gym, that turned into a shapeless pile of goo on the mat. I swear that this kid went limp the moment you touched him. It was ridiculous. You couldn't even do normal positions with this guy, like holding him in your guard, because he was fucking limp all the time. He would just kinda fall over.

    Once in a blue moon, he would surprise me with an outburst of strength that made me remember he actually has functioning limbs, and then he would go limp again.

    Now, what the **** did his father think? He was there, he watched. I have no fucking idea.

    That kind of **** is even worse in striking arts. You won't just get bored to death, you get the **** beaten out of you.
  6. DARPAChief is online now

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:46pm


     

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil View Post
    3. Come to class and pay attention. Use your eyes and ears, not your mouth. This is not a daycare center. You need to know if your kid is a dick. I know your precious little flower is perfect in your eyes but sometimes these little sweet peas don't listen, are too rough with their training partners, wipe boogers on the mat and whatnot. You need to know if this is happening so you can correct your child - after class if it's not an emergency.
    Indeed, if for nothing other than that a daycare centre caretaker would presumably possess some qualifications supporting child care or at the very least have some kind of oversight from a government organisation. Compared to something the entertainment industry, children in martial arts and the people looking after them are rarely subject to much regulation at all. Martial arts practice is consequently one of a dwindling few means by which predators can easily access children.
  7. Devil is online now
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    His heart was visible, and the dismal sack that maketh excrement of what is eaten.

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:53pm

    supporting member
     

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by DARPAChief View Post
    Indeed, if for nothing other than that a daycare centre caretaker would presumably possess some qualifications supporting child care or at the very least have some kind of oversight from a government organisation. Compared to something the entertainment industry, children in martial arts and the people looking after them are rarely subject to much regulation at all. Martial arts practice is consequently one of a dwindling few means by which predators can easily access children.
    I believe my kids are much safer in their martial arts school than they would be at a daycare center. I hear what you're saying but that's not really what I was getting at.
  8. Chili Pepper is offline
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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:54pm


     Style: Siling Labuyo Arnis

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SpinKiK View Post
    Edit- C Pepper: I don't want you to think I was talking about you, that was a general statement and not aimed at you specifically.
    No offence taken. I agree with you.

    I take capoeira with my younger son, because it's something we both get a lot out of, and very much enjoy spending time together. But, if he decided it didn't do it for him anymore, then we would stop - or at least we wouldn't do the parents and kids class and I'd probably carry on without him.
  9. BKR is online now
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    My dog is cuter and smarter than yours.

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 7:59pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kodokan Judo

    11
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Nice work, Devil !

    I would add a pet peeve of mine.

    Your child does not deserve the next belt promotion just because she shows up and tries. There are specific requirement for rank promotions, even for kids, even if the skill standards are lower than for adults. As in "real life", not everyone gets promoted or learns at the same rate.

    We've had parents who literally yelled about how their little johnnie deserved to be promoted because little janey (who pays attention, and is coachable, and goes to tournaments and actually wins a match or two), gets promoted.

    Not a chance...

    They then basically rage quit. Great example for your kids, parents !

    BTW, I hate rank promotions for kids. Everyone stays white belt until they are at least 12 years old !
    Falling for Judo since 1980
  10. csharp.negative is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/21/2013 9:05pm


     Style: 1 technique 1000 times

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Permalost View Post
    Another martial arts parent pet peeve: parents who get their kids into martial arts to develop discipline in them. Sure, martial arts can kinda do that, but that's a parent's job and a parent expecting others to do that for them sucks. Plus, they say discipline like its not a nebulous concept but is instead an absolute quality that exactly parallels the parent's definition. If your kid's a little **** who absolutely refuses to listen or chill, martial arts will not make them disciplined, especially when the average karate instructor for kids must be overwhelmingly positive at all times and has little capacity for punishment.
    In every instance of this that I have seen in my 2 years of working with the children's class, the kids that were enrolled "for discipline" are the most spoiled, snotty brats. Sometimes the more well behaved kids (simply because the parents don't spoil them) won't even talk to/play with them after class because they're so annoying, all because the parents won't follow through with punishing them.
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