228069 Bullies, 4777 online  
  • Register
Our Sponsors:

Results 101 to 110 of 141
Page 11 of 15 FirstFirst ... 7891011 12131415 LastLast
Sponsored Links Spacer Image
  1. TwentyThree is online now

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    North Richland Hills, TX
    Posts
    69

    Posted On:
    4/07/2014 1:15pm


     Style: Modern Arnis

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by AKRhino View Post
    Definitely try dropping her off, and leaving her with the teacher. I know my coach prefers that parents not sit and watch, as he feels this can actually lead to distraction, and he has a tougher time keeping them focused. You might get a very different result if you're not there. The other thing I would say is, that gym, or martial art, may not be a good fit for her. Shop around, so to speak. See if you can't find something she likes better.
    I couldn't disagree with this more.

    It may be a distraction, but this is a safety issue for teachers, students and parents.

    This sums it up very nicely:

    http://martialartsbusinessdaily.com/...rst-nightmare/
  2. hvyhands81 is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    120

    Posted On:
    4/09/2014 11:54am


     Style: Isshinryu, goju, japJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TwentyThree View Post
    I couldn't disagree with this more.

    It may be a distraction, but this is a safety issue for teachers, students and parents.

    This sums it up very nicely:

    http://martialartsbusinessdaily.com/...rst-nightmare/
    Firstly, great thread Devil you are so on point here, very well done.

    TwentyThree, that is a horrible and sad story and I can imagine it gives both instructors and parents good reason to stick around for their child's class. I personally had a different experience coming up through the ranks so I wanted to share.

    My parents never attended any classes, none as far as I can recall. They were there for promotions some tournaments and special events, but never daily classes. I personally liked it that way, it took some of the pressure off and allowed me to "be myself" when training if you will. This also worked out for my parents who never really cared for my instructor but recognized his talent and knew I was getting the education I needed/wanted.

    That being said my mother is a special breed, when I would come home with a black eye or a bloody nose her responses would always be something like "Another one huh, now what did you learn?", or "You know you're not supposed to block with your head right?", but these things were always said in jest and at home, not at the dojo. She also owned a daycare center for 25 years, so she was used to dealing with pia parents. I worked there for a few years and the parallels between what I saw there, and this thread are amazing.

    The funny thing to me was that even though my mother really didn't like my instructor, they had very similar ways of dealing with these types of parents. "you don't like it, there is the door" ... this approach only works when you have a long waiting list of children to attend your school, or you really don't care about profit.

    Unfortunately my previous school no longer takes this approach, parents sit on folding chairs on the dojo floor and "watch" the class. There have been several occasions where I wanted to say "This isn't ******* social hour, sit quietly and watch or gtfo", but it isn't my school, and it isn't my place to correct their behavior. This is one among many reasons I don't train there anymore.
  3. It is Fake is offline
    It is Fake's Avatar

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    34,012

    Posted On:
    4/09/2014 12:08pm

    staff
     Style: xingyi

    3
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TwentyThree View Post
    I couldn't disagree with this more.

    It may be a distraction, but this is a safety issue for teachers, students and parents.

    This sums it up very nicely:

    http://martialartsbusinessdaily.com/...rst-nightmare/
    Sorry, there is very little, in that article, that supports your extreme position. The safety issue is letting the teacher have one on one, by themselves, private time away from other people with your kid. Dropping the child off at class, going to sit in your car outside, run a single errand and returning before class is over is fine. Quite a few incidents happen when parents let their children go on unsupervised visits to tournaments, "movie nights" or staying later than every one else in class.

    Edit:
    http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.s...avalle_to.html

    The article is based on Steven Lavalle, who committed suicide after being accused of molestation. In the named incidents, the kids were teens and alone with him on a beach, by themselves and in situations unlike being dropped off for an hour at class.
    Last edited by It is Fake; 4/09/2014 12:17pm at .
  4. fakejudoka is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    27

    Posted On:
    4/09/2014 3:12pm


     Style: Judo

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I help teach the kids class and most of the parents stay and watch. It is a double edged sword for me. A lot of the younger kids tend to try and keep their parents in view and it can become a distraction. I personally try to avoid that by positioning myself where the kid's back are to the parents. That way, I at least have a chance to keep their attention. On the other hand, there have been children that act up and are not listening. After the instructors (myself included) fuss, the parents will come around and set the child straight. In these cases, parents being there is a good thing. Kids want to come to class when it is fun and if the instructors are always fussing they won't want to come. If the parents are willing to help reprimand the student so we as instructors don't have to it helps maintain the "fun" factor.

    I have never had an issue with a parent during a class. It has only been during tournaments, small or large, that I wanted to throat punch a dad or two. Some parents don't seem to realize how much guts it really takes to get on the mat and fight in a tournament. Seeing a dad criticize their child after a tournament because little Johny didn't escape a pin or got thrown test my limits. Kids should be encouraged to play regardless of winning or losing. We all want to win but it is hard just to step out there, even for us adults.
  5. goodlun is online now
    goodlun's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Ramona
    Posts
    5,285

    Posted On:
    4/09/2014 4:15pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: BJJ

    5
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    There are 2 Judo Clubs I like a lot in the San Diego area. One of them has a waiting room that is away from the mat. There where cameras in the mat area so that you can watch what was going on in the Waiting room. I believe they where also web enabled so you could watch from home as well. I like this approach.
    The other club has a policy about you having to leave the 1st few times so that the kids adjust to whom is in charge. This approach seems to work well as well.
  6. Devil is offline
    Devil's Avatar

    His heart was visible, and the dismal sack that maketh excrement of what is eaten.

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    6,764

    Posted On:
    4/09/2014 9:02pm

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by goodlun View Post
    There are 2 Judo Clubs I like a lot in the San Diego area. One of them has a waiting room that is away from the mat. There where cameras in the mat area so that you can watch what was going on in the Waiting room. I believe they where also web enabled so you could watch from home as well. I like this approach.
    That is an outstanding idea.
  7. TwentyThree is online now

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    North Richland Hills, TX
    Posts
    69

    Posted On:
    4/10/2014 10:44am


     Style: Modern Arnis

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by It is Fake View Post
    Sorry, there is very little, in that article, that supports your extreme position. The safety issue is letting the teacher have one on one, by themselves, private time away from other people with your kid. Dropping the child off at class, going to sit in your car outside, run a single errand and returning before class is over is fine. Quite a few incidents happen when parents let their children go on unsupervised visits to tournaments, "movie nights" or staying later than every one else in class.

    Edit:
    http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.s...avalle_to.html

    The article is based on Steven Lavalle, who committed suicide after being accused of molestation. In the named incidents, the kids were teens and alone with him on a beach, by themselves and in situations unlike being dropped off for an hour at class.
    I don't disagree with the "run the errands" thing. But I think it is a huge mistake for coaches to discourage parental attendance at training, and I think it's also a mistake for parents to not attend.

    He said:

    I know my coach prefers that parents not sit and watch, as he feels this can actually lead to distraction, and he has a tougher time keeping them focused.
    All it takes is one incident, and the coach ends up falsely accused of something bad or wrong.

    We have parents attending our juniors' classes all the time, and they are never a distraction. We don't allow them to interrupt at our school.

    Why is that so hard or such a problem?
  8. It is Fake is offline
    It is Fake's Avatar

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    34,012

    Posted On:
    4/10/2014 10:59am

    staff
     Style: xingyi

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    All it takes is one incident, and the coach ends up falsely accused of something bad or wrong.
    This applies to ANY child endeavor, really anything in life, from going to school to what happened at Penn State. Hell, false allegations can occur with witnesses watching and a school doing everything right. It's ironic because you use the "all it takes is one" and that's usually how schools start the limited, "no parent," and waiting room only policies.


    We have parents attending our juniors' classes all the time, and they are never a distraction. We don't allow them to interrupt at our school.

    Why is that so hard or such a problem?
    When someone says never, I rarely believe them. I've been around great classes and almost all schools have "one incident" that everyone doesn't know about or wasn't around when it occurred.


    Yes, I am ignoring your insertion of "false allegations."
  9. AKRhino is online now
    AKRhino's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Fairbanks, Alaska
    Posts
    550

    Posted On:
    4/10/2014 12:06pm


     Style: Brazillian Jiu Jitsu

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TwentyThree View Post
    I don't disagree with the "run the errands" thing. But I think it is a huge mistake for coaches to discourage parental attendance at training, and I think it's also a mistake for parents to not attend.

    He said:



    All it takes is one incident, and the coach ends up falsely accused of something bad or wrong.

    We have parents attending our juniors' classes all the time, and they are never a distraction. We don't allow them to interrupt at our school.

    Why is that so hard or such a problem?
    I suppose I should note that what my coach prefers, and what my coach enforces on parents is two different things. He doesn't discourage parents from watching. He has expressed to me in private before that he prefers when they don't. That said, dropping your kid off for group classes is in no way leaving your child alone with a strange man. There are assistant instructors there, usually there will be other parents around, etc.

    It's not a problem, parents can hang out if they want to. The distraction doesn't come from the parents. The distraction comes from a child behaving differently when their parent is around, vs when there parent is not around.
  10. It is Fake is offline
    It is Fake's Avatar

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    34,012

    Posted On:
    4/10/2014 12:11pm

    staff
     Style: xingyi

    2
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Also, it prevents the "I am a coach" parent from disrupting class. I prefer the waiting area that is basically just out of sight. The parents can see their kids, but can't interact with them.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Powered by vBulletin™© contact@vbulletin.com vBulletin Solutions, Inc. 2011 All rights reserved.