Feeling of not being able to cause damage.
I have never been in a full contact/fight/heavy sparring session in my adult life, and I have this constant feeling that if I hit someone it wouldn't actually do anything to them.
It's the same feeling when dreaming and you just can't hit someone/thing hard enough to do damage or cause them to stop.
I hit heavy bags and mitts + pads, but there's a part of my brain that makes me feel that the kicks & strikes wouldn't do enough damage to defend myself.
My guess is that the answer to this is in the first sentence "Get in the ring and do some heavy or full contact sparring". I am also a very nice guy, so I don't want to hurt anyone, but I want to know if I would be effective in a fight.
I was wondering if this is a common thing that has to be addressed at some point to gain that confidence.
Thanks for any insight.
You list BJJ in your style, along with Wing Chun Do (is the last one a joke?).
Originally Posted by badacid
I assume you actually "roll" in BJJ and or have competed, and applied chokes and joint locks, so you know those things "work".
What striking art/combat sport are you practicing? If it does not have sparring involved, change arts. Just like in BJJ, you will need to spar in your striking art to be able to perform under pressure/adrenalized.
It's not necessary to hurt a training partner to be reasonably assure what you do will "work in real life". In Judo, we do randori and compete at full speed and contact (no striking, obviously). I've been thrown so hard on a good tatami (mat) that I was stunned, but not injured, and done the same to others. So I know that on hard surface the results will be same or worse !
Similarly, I've trained in striking, albeit a long time ago. I hit and got hit, wearing pads and gloves. I know that doing so will hurt/injure a guy with no pads/gloves...plus I've been punched in the face a few times outside of training, LOL. It hurts like hell! Noses break, lips split, bones crunch (maybe in your hands ...).
As far as being a "nice guy" goes, well, so am I. But in training, we agree to conditions to spar/train as consenting adults, with the expectation that we might get hurt/injured, that we will be (very at times) aggressive towards each other, etc. So it's not about being nice or not, really.
I suggest progressive drilling/sparring in the striking realm until full contact, and consult with your teacher/coach for help and advice. He/she will know you best.
Falling for Judo since 1980
"You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS
Lift weights. Semi serious actually. Lifting weights and getting stronger is a huge confidence boost for many people. It also will help your martial arts anyway so why not.
Either that or get in a match. But a match is going to test your confidence, not necessarily build it.
LOL. I know what you mean, I've had those dreams as well. I remember when I was about 18 and hadn't started training yet. I had words with an older guy in a bar. He followed me outside and punched me on the cheek as I turned round. I remember looking at him as he shouted at me and thinking "That didn't really hurt. But if I hit him back it's probably not going to hurt him either" so instead I ran away. (I found out later he was a paramilitary so it's lucky I did).
I'm not naturally a striker as I found in a fight I tend to duck then stand and grapple. I've added striking to my training since then try and balance this. I've sparred in Ju Jitsu and competed a few times in Sports Ju Jitsu but striking was always secondary.
In the end, I tried going on the heavy bag without wraps and gloves on. I found that while I am still not convinced of the power of my punch, I do feel my open hand strikes, elbows and low leg kicks are quite strong.
It sounds like you want to rely on striking to defend yourself instead your BJJ? If your natural reaction is to stand up and trade punches, keeping BJJ as a backup, then something like boxing/kick boxing would be best. Sparring hard is not just about hurting someone, there's a respect and bond to sparring with someone that's hard to explain, where you can take a punch, give a punch and shake the guy's hand afterwards.
Otherwise why not reply on BJJ for defence and keep your strikes as set-ups to takedowns where they don't have to be fight-enders.
Man those dreams suck.
I used to get them all the time when I did Aikido, like trying to kotegaeshi people in epic slow motion or throwing them over and over again while they just got up and kept coming.
The only thing that helps is hard sparring, you'll get smacked around pretty much every time, but every now and again you'll land something solid and you'll feel/hear the connection and if you're lucky you'll see/hear the effects.
I'm a little guy, and I really struggle with stopping power vs our heavyweights, but the more I spar with them the more I'm starting to find things that work (timing and targets).
tl;dr: Spar, spar like a ************.
Think of this, if you agree to sparr with someone who competes and you hit him hard, you are actually helping his conditioning and to prepare himself for fighting
Dreams of impotence are usually a way for your subconcious to tell you that somethings wrong, some skills are fading, etc. I've had dreams where I couldn't shoot for weird reasons ( gun doesn't work, thousand pound trigger pull, etc.) Getting to the range always made them go away.
I suggest you just get back in the gym and train more.Lift, Spar, hit the bags. Best case scenario, the feelings will go away. Worst case scenario, you'll have trained more. Can't lose.
"Wing Chun Do"? Hit yourself and hope it works.
Anyway, I tend to use strikes to close so I can do something more useful (along the lines of a number of nage-waza), so...as long as it lets me close, I care little whether I or not I can KO anyone.
Having said that, I've occasionally KO'd people at work when the situation called for it. Do a bit of full-contact training (such as kyokushin or boxing) and the whole thing doesn't seem so farfetched.
In my experience, accidentally injuring someone will convince you that your strikes can do damage, but it'll get the pendulum swinging in the other direction, where you'll be worried that you'll hurt someone.
Do you actually practice striking? If not, maybe go to a couple practices with the Seattle Kyokushin guys if you want to try some out.
Hurting those guys would be the last thing you have to worry about.
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