Did the Tough Mudder. Finished two hours flat, although I had wasted about ten minutes trying drown some chick in the Arctic Enema:
A little bit of my penis turned black and fell off, like when you pick at a wart for a really long time. Other than that it was pffft.
Some ideas to make the event a little more... PitFighterific:
- Double the height of the monkey bar challenge and replace the pool at the bottom with concrete.
- Make runners turn in their shoes for a tedious inspection process immediately before their start times.
- At the high-dive, make the pool three feet deep.
- Keep the Arctic Enema the same length, but quadruple the depth and put snares on the bottom.
- During the army crawl, put a second sheet of barbed wire on the ground and cover with a thin layer of mud.
- Pump automobile exhaust into the crawling tunnels.
- Encourage the event staff to harass and denigrate the people walking. Also, have them feign a helping hand during climbing obstacles only to let go when a runner is almost over.
- During swimming and wading portions of the race, have unseen scuba divers caress runners' thighs.
- Provide spectators with a generous supply of spoiled vegetables and D batteries, and then turn a blind eye on whatever they do.
- During the "cage crawl" (Where you have to slide on your back across a thin pool of water by pulling yourself with a chain-link fence), have volunteers dump buckets of water onto runners' faces.
- Lace the water at the drinking stations with perfume and live bait.
- If a runner takes a **** during the race, he gets a second free beer at the end. Taking a **** during the Tough Mudder is boss.
Great ideas. I was going to suggest that people walking should be chased by dogs. Or chased with electric cattle prods. That was the thing that REALLY got up my nose on tough mudder, people walking in the first mile, walk the whole thing and say they "they have done tough mudder". Arseholes. If you don't run it then you didn't do it.
Originally Posted by Holy Moment
I would also like to see the water dive have 'gators in the bottom.
Everest - grease it and have people at the top throwing buckets of entrails over contestants.
Also, last person to finish gets sodomized by the top 25.
"Your body must be like a stone, your mind... like a meatloaf."
Originally Posted by strikistanian
Originally Posted by Devil
I went to one this weekend. Yeah, it was mostly a fun run/obsticle course. Old people doing it, kids, and lots of hot chicks. ****, I would have gone just to look at the hot chicks. Plus free beer.
Combatives training log.
Gezere: paraphrase from Bas Rutten, Never escalate the level of violence in fight you are losing. :D
kettlebell workouts give you “cardio
without the dishonour of aerobics”.
Hot chicks in lycra rolling in mud. Pretty much why I do them.
Originally Posted by Diesel_tke
Speaking candidly, the Tough Mudder wasn't much of a physical challenge. It's obviously fun, and a really uplifting trend to see emerging in a society that primarily derives sustenance from cookie dough and butter salt. But it's just not as serious as I presumed it to be. I was expecting there to at least be a group of real athletes leaving the rest of the pack in the dust, but there was no one. Legitimate runners and endurance athletes apparently don't take these events seriously at all, and I don't blame them.
To be fair, the smaller runs I went to actually had a stronger element of challenge to them because they were actually races. The Tough Mudder, as I learned after I finished it, isn't a race and doesn't keep time. It's about camaraderie, which I guess means I really must've looked like an asshole to the people who stopped to help others over the obstacles. A bit too Planet Fitnessy for my taste.
Good news is doing these runs have at least inspired me to look at other endurance/adventure sports, while previously I had only been into martial arts and sodomy.
Edit: It must be apparent that I don't research things much before I jump into them. With that said, I'm not thinking twice about going snake hunting with my airsoft pistol next week.
Last edited by Holy Moment; 10/15/2013 3:51pm at .
I was going for the Richard Kiel Jaws pose:
Didn't quite nail it.
I would've spent up to eighty dollars if I bought this legitimately:
I didn't mean to pose like that, by the way. Sorry.
Yep - to be honest these are really fun runs more than anything else. TM and Spartan Race try to make them sound like you are doing some kind special forces/Marathon De Sable challenge, the reality is that this is just marketing. I've done a few of these now and they are pretty much filled up with people who are just doing it for a laugh. That doesn't mean to say that people aren't (on the whole) training for it, which I think can only be a good thing.
Originally Posted by Holy Moment
What I do like about these runs is that it motivates me to get out of bed and train in the mornings, especially if you are doing it with work mates who keep reminding you that you are doing it in 20 days and they are going to leave you behind in the mud.
It's also a great laugh, I happen to like getting covered in mud and climbing up and down things like a kid.
Smaller events are better than TM (and cheaper) - I did Nuts Challenge in the UK and really recommend it (only downside was I completely screwed my foot up and ended up in plaster).
We have this. I'm doing much cross country running lately because this looks such a mega fun, that I want to be ready for the summer edition and I have one pair of old tennis shoes which have been through a lot with me and I need to part with them with a proper thrashing.
Last edited by Stickybomb; 10/16/2013 4:40am at .
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