Posted On:5/16/2013 5:29pm
Style: Hsing I, Bagua, Chi kung
The best one is where you don't do any technique and the guy slinks off with his tail between his legs, while his girlfriend reassesses her mating habits.
pro nonsense self defense
Posted On:5/16/2013 5:54pm
Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs
When I was a teenager, I spent lots of time skateboarding all over San Diego. While waiting at a stoplight, a guy asks me "Is that your board?". I say yes, and he asks "Where's your name on it?", using the classic Kindergarten gambit "Oh yeah? I don't see your name on it!". The fact that a grown ass man asked me this threw me off for a second. He asks more aggressively, making it obvious that this guy is trying to steal a teenager's skateboard. So I say fine, my name's written right here, and point to the tail of the board that's touching the ground. When he looks down, I throw an Adam West Batman uppercut and put the brakes on it right in front of his face, pausing with my fist an inch from his stupid face. I might've made some sort of kiai too. The guy backs off with his hands in the I-don't-want-any-trouble palm out position.
It shouldn't have worked, but did.
Posted On:5/16/2013 6:05pm
Style: Kickboxing/MuaiThai (new)
I once watched two guys in a booth get into an argument. One guy stood up and was standing over the other and you could tell things were gonna get awkward.
I actually stood up to break it up but the guy who was standing up grabbed the guy who was sitting down by the shirt; I can only assume to stand him up. What happened next I'm not 'entirely' sure maybe it was a combination of the slippery floor and a possibly ill thought out kick to the shins from the guy sitting down but suddenly the guy who was standing up planked mid air and landed chin first on the other guy's (who at this point was sitting but leaning forward) head.
He kinda bounced and slumped to the floor much to the astonishment of his bewildered opponent who was still sitting and now staring at me with a 'Did you hit him?' look on his face.
Unfortunately the guy whom was knocked out bit through his tongue which was now half hanging on. Not pleasant; but it is what it is.
Posted On:5/17/2013 2:54am
In my long-ago rapier fencing days I found myself up against a much better fencer who kept merrily drilling me in the chest until I pulled off a parry/arm-check/180 degree spinning step that landed me behind him for an instant. I laid the blade against the back of his neck, "killed" him with a draw cut and walked away announcing that I was henceforth retiring from rapier fencing. And so I did.
A guest instructor once wowed my students with an amazing double bullwhip display, finishing by switching off the lights with one flick of his whip. Everyone was awestruck. As he walked past me he whispered, "I could not do that again in a million years."
Back in the early '80s a TKD black belt of my acquaintance pulled off a jumping spinning back kick to the chest of a guy who had just previously pulled a knife on a woman working in a nearby shop. He ran off when she screamed and my buddy challenged him (I swear this is true) directly in front of our TKD school. The story made headline news the next day and the article quoted police referring to my buddy's technique as a "flying Tae Kwon Do hold".
Last edited by DdlR; 5/17/2013 3:00am at .
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Bartitsu: the Gentlemanly Art of Self Defence (est. 1899)
Posted On:5/17/2013 7:28am
I was playing Dagorhir (boffer/larp) and I illegally used a flying armbar to disarm someone!
Posted On:5/17/2013 7:52am
I have unintentionally headblocked things while at work.
Example: about two years ago, I was trying to break up some stupidity between two bottle-service tables. Because one nearby staff-member was not in a place where she could be evacuated safely when it started, I had to wade into the melee and get her out before backup could get there (never recommended unless absolutely necessary).
Just as I was clearing the last couple of idiots away from the server so I could get her out of the area, somebody landed a barstool on my lovely noggin from behind. Unlike what happens in the movies (where they fly into a million pieces and scatter), this barstool suffered one broken leg where it impacted my head but remained otherwise intact, coming to rest on my shoulders. More annoyed than hurt, I turned and looked across a remaining barstool-leg at the erstwhile furniture-wielder...who decided that, since I was still standing, a sprint for the door was his wisest option.
Backup arrived to see me sporting a quite-fashionable, but not-quite-intact, barstool. I was "Stool-Head" (likely meant in more ways than one) for a few workdays after that.
Valiant Monk of Booze & War
Posted On:5/17/2013 7:56am
Once, while bouncing, I had a guy come at me with a beer bottle. I used a crescent kick to knock it out of his hand. He stopped fighting me at that point because he saw that the spirit of Chuck Norris was with me.
My sister threw a house party without telling me. I came home to find my house full of drunks. Some dude went into my bedroom and grabbed one of my katanas and was running around like an idiot. I used an outward wrist lock throw/Aikido kotegaeshi/Hapkido buchae sutugi to throw him and disarm him.
Posted On:5/17/2013 8:52am
My third match in the MN state judo tournament lasted a grand total of 10 seconds. I bowed in, the ref called hajime and I proceded to walk straight into a firemans carry for ippon. I then had to watch the video three times to fully digest just how many things I did wrong.
Posted On:5/17/2013 11:12am
Style: Dutch KB / Judo
In my first MMA fight I went for a front snap kick to the jaw and it rocked my opponent, but I slipped and fell haha
still won though. (decision)
Posted On:5/17/2013 11:44am
Style: Chinese Boxing
I head butt knees.
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