Thread: Seeking strength after loss
5/17/2013 1:46am, #11
The older you get the more you are going to have your friends die one way or another.
I think you need adversity combined with the belief you can win. Otherwise the adversity becomes self destructive rather than constructive.Whitsunday Martial Arts Airlie Beach North Queensland.
5/17/2013 7:55am, #12
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Sorry for your Loss Jnp and also for yours, Crappler.
That is an interesting question, I used to be that kind of depressed dude who always thought about himself as a weakling..... Until I took the resolution of pushing my limits the farthest that I could, that's why I restarted to train Muay Thai two days ago with the toughest instructor around, that's why I went to judo pratice yesterday despite both my knees being wounded (from kneeing the bag a lot, probably the easiest part of the MT class), thats why I insist in doing everything as usual in work despiste almost not being able to bend my knees and being walking like a penguin, and that's why I'm looking foward to do a master degree in something that used to scare the **** out of me.... Because I don't want to be that weakling anymore.. But I totaly understand people who give up, is so tempting when you feel in the bottom.... I just don't want to be there anymore, and if possible inspire others to get out of it.
Last edited by Wolfskin; 5/17/2013 8:23am at .
5/17/2013 9:33am, #13
Sorry for your loss. Really, to everyone since we have all lost someone or will lose someone. I had a Law Enforcement friend that killed himself a few years ago. Every time I saw him, he was smilling or appeared happy. He had two children. When he killed himself, he did it in the house with the kids in the other room. I didn't get it then, I don't get it now. I guess I never will.
I have trouble dealing with death. My faith doesn't seem to comfort me the way it does others. I don't get that either. It makes no since to me. I just can't wrap my head around it. I wish I could. I only hope that one day, when it's all said and done, it will make since to me. On the other side, I will look back and say, "Oh, that's why we were never given the explination for death. Because it's not as big of a deal as we thought it was." That's my hope, because otherwise I just don't get it.
Stay strong JNP, and thank you for your insights.
5/17/2013 11:10am, #14
- Join Date
- May 2013
- San Diego
It's amazing how much pain a person can overcome or hide with a smile.
Don't underestimate the human spirit to overcome hardships!
I feel like if there is a tomorrow then there is a chance, something to figure out, something to discover, something to overcome, something exciting.
Some of us live in a delusional world where love doesn't exist. The way they were raised, tainted mindset, environment.
Effecting people in a positive way! :)
5/17/2013 11:46am, #15
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
- Boston, Ma
Sorry about your friend.
5/17/2013 12:51pm, #16
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
5/18/2013 11:48am, #17
In going back and reading my post it occurs to me the other side of that is remembering: remembering the people who care about you, who depend upon you, who need you. So there are moments where I remember my dad and what he would want, and who he was. He wouldn't be happy to see me sitting around feeling sorry for myself. He had no patience for that kind of nonsense. And he dedicated his life to taking care of children and helping them live. He stood watch at the bedside of children who passed away under his care. He had to face the pain of being helpless when the stakes were as high as they could be. That is what I mean when I talk about facing the things you absolutely cannot bear. Really, whatever you say about suicide, you cannot say it isn't an active step, no matter how misguided, toward resolving a problem that seems unsolvable (though it usually is). And there lies the difficulty-we all have to face the dragon sooner or later. And you can't win."We often joke -- and we really wish it were a joke -- that you will only encounter two basic problems with your 'self-defense' training.
1) That it doesn't work
2) That it does work"
5/18/2013 3:54pm, #18
I've lost friends, a brother, and a brother-in-law to suicide.
So many people will tell you this that you'll be sick of hearing it but it's crucial to remember:
It's not your fault-not a even a little bit.
It's been 8 years since my brother killed himself and I still doubt that sometimes. That's ok. Nobody is strong all the time.
Go talk to someone you trust about this.
I stay away from AFSP because of their focus on gun control, but their are good people in the local chapters that can help.Originally Posted by Canuckyokushin
5/26/2013 10:58pm, #19
Hang in there, brother.
My best friend shot himself six years ago. He was suffering from a neurological disease that caused him constant pain. In the process of treatment, he lost his house and his business. A doctor refused to sign off on disability papers. Towards the end, he quietly gathered all of his personal effects into boxes, and took his cats to the animal shelter. It's possible his neighbors ignored the gun shots.
I'm not sure it's strength alone. It's also the courage to be flexible. Rolling with the punches, so to speak. If it looks hopeless today, it might not be hopeless tomorrow.