Thread: The BEE-Jay-Jay
4/26/2013 8:05pm, #21
- Join Date
- May 2006
4/26/2013 8:06pm, #22
I think we should have Omega remake that video
4/26/2013 8:55pm, #23
They dont realise that the bjjer is doing stuff. Which is the fatal flaw in that theory.Whitsunday Martial Arts Airlie Beach North Queensland.
4/26/2013 8:58pm, #24
"The only important elements in any society
are the artistic and the criminal,
because they alone, by questioning the society's values,
can force it to change."-Samuel R. Delany
RENDERING GELATINOUS WINDMILL OF DICKS
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NON-EUCLIDIAN SPLATTERJOUST EVER
It seems that the only people who support anarchy are faggots, who want their pathetic immoral lifestyle accepted by the mainstream society. It wont be so they try to create their own.-Oldman34, friend to all children
4/26/2013 10:35pm, #25
4/26/2013 10:41pm, #26
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
What's that on the horizon?
Could it be... No, it couldn't.
Still, I can't shake this feeling...
Oh my God! It is! It really is!
Brace yourselves for the buttfucking of lifetime, you little shitboats! UNDERGROUND PITFIGHTING is back!
Regional Qualifying Match #3
The pale-stool colored offices of Flavor Solutions Incorporated are buzzing with bemused chatter as the work day begins to come to a close. About an hour ago, a frighteningly obese man in a black sleeveless t-shirt embroided with the words SHAOLIN KEMPO TAEKWONDO walked through the front door with a studio camera and several armfuls of Taco Bell. After setting the camera up on a tripod in the main office, he planted his formidible keister in the boss' seat and began eating his bags of incomprehensible gruel nonstop. Whenever anybody tried to ask him what he was doing, he would just dip his mongoloid face further into the grease-laden wrappers he was devouring and drown out their questions with his own obnoxious munching. As their shifts come to an end, the office jockeys of this corporate New Jersey hellhole know something has to be done. They're just about to call the police when a 5'6" shirtless Middle-Eastern man with a bodybuilder's physique marches through the revolving glass entraceway and heads straight to the main office. It's as if he knew just where the fat man would be.
The sweating glutton immediately stops eating when his well-toned adversary comes in. For the first time since he's been here, the fat man speaks.
Teila Ramirez: Mr. Kabul, I presume?
The borderline midget Arab nods. Ramirez rolls up the bag he was working on and tosses it aside.
Teila Ramirez: Couldn't wait until after lunch, could you? No matter. Victory shouldn't take too long to achieve. You see, I brought a few little equalizers with me that should make those BJJ skills of your's irrelevant.
The wheezing behemoth smiles as he lifts out another bag from underneath the table and empties its contents onto the carpeted floor. This bag isn't filled with mechanically reconstituted pseudo-food, but rather a hodgepodge of hazardous debris that is spread evenly across the ground below. Broken glass, thumbtacks, AIDS needles, fire ants, and used anal plugs all flow out of the brown sack while Ramirez chackles merrily at his underhandedness. In his mind, the fight is already won.
Teila Ramirez: Muhahahaha! No recourse for you now, is there my friend! Have at you!
On that note, Ramirez clumsily charges at his outsized foe like most martial artists do when they have no experience actually applying the techniques they train against resisting opponents. Mr. Kabul, nary a hint of worry in his eyes, intercepts this boulder-with-legs head on with a double-leg takedown. The bug-eyed Kenpo fighter gasps with shock as he crashes backwards to the ground below... Directly on top of the garbage he had strewn across the floor himself as a trap for his opponent. Ramirez howls in utter misey as the thumbtacks and glass shards begin cutting his shoulder-lard to ribbons.
Mr. Kabul doesn't break pace as he immediately begins uncorking ground-and-pound on his corpulent opponent's seemingly boundless jowls. Ramirez whines pitifully as his mind impotently races for a way to escape. Blood spurts from his mouth like a whale's blowhole each time Mr. Kabuls meaty fist collides with his soft, vulnerable neck. With pain overwhelming him from back and front, he quickly decides that surrender is his only means of self-preservation.
Teila Ramirez: Stop! Stop! You're better than me, I give up!
Mr. Kabul doesn't stop. As a matter of fact, he grows more intense. Seizing an AIDS needle from the ground next to him, he impales Ramirez's jugular and begins ripping open the hole with his finger. Ramirez's entire body shakes violenty as his own life-giving blood fires out of his throat like a hose. The over-muscled Afghan resumes his ground-and-pound assault as soon he's satisfied with the size of the opening he had created in Ramirez's neck. Following all this, the employees of Flavor Solutions Incorporated get over their shock and rush to pull Mr. Kabul away from the pile of vegetable shortening that used to be Teila Ramirez. The jacked Middle-Easterner responds to this intervention by furiously throwing a female office temp across the table and making passionate, vigorous love to her right there in the center of the chaos. None of the male employees there are able to pull him off as he forces the woman achieve a quadruple-orgasm and a nosebleed.
Ejaculating does not ebb Mr. Kabul's apparently unyielding aggression. After finishing off the woman and throwing her aside, he jumps right back onto the bloody poundcake that formerly was a man and continues his fistic punishment. The workers are completely at a loss and resolve to just run for their lives and never let anybody ever enter the building again. Nine months later, the woman Mr. Kabul plowed would give birth... To a gun. The well-oiled Afghan jiu-jitsu fighter is still hammering Ramirez's corpse to the this day.
Last edited by Holy Moment; 4/26/2013 10:48pm at .
4/26/2013 10:45pm, #27
From the comments section:
SharkKarate 1 month ago
You are soooo right about most BJJ schools teach only sport BJJ. At my school we teach OLD SCHOOL BJJ 1970's which was for fighting , not saying you can't use sport BJJ in a street fight you just need to be aware that its a fight you are in not a tournament.
And his supposed training background:
SharkKarate 5 days ago
Yes I have 15 years brazilian jiu jitsu as for kid black belts they are Jr. black belt at my school you have to be 18 years old to be a black belt.
Reply · in reply to tywainwright1
SharkKarate 2 days ago
Not at all. I have been training for 40 years in a bunch of arts but as for BJJ I started in November 18th. 1993 at the gracie academy in Torrance for 2 years then I went to joe Moreira in Newport for about 3 years then to the machado academy in Torrance for awhile I think it was about a year and a half from there I went to Ken Gabrielson(he was one of the gracies first American black belts) in Costa Mesa until he closed the school after that I went to francisco bueno for a few years then......SharkKarate 2 days ago
CONTINUE: I went to Franco de Camargo until he passed away in 2008 after that I just bounced around to different schools in my area but on top of that I also trained in other grappling systems such as Judo with John Ogden, Newaza with David German and I wrestled for many years. It might be easier for you to look at my what is SHARK KARATE video I say what arts I have studied.
4/26/2013 11:34pm, #28
Why does EVERY SHITTY video have a guy laying there like he is dead. I have NEVER trained BJJ, but I know that the guard is FUCKING ACTIVE. I love how all videos assume you'll be able to create space, get a limb in a prime position and deliver some type of counter or deadly strike.
Before someone says it, yes I l know what demos are, it is the AUTHORITY and ASSURED SUCCESS that makes these videos ridiculous.
4/26/2013 11:49pm, #29
Okay, it seems that the guy is claiming to be a BJJ Brown Belt. Yet he's going around Youtube talking about having the "Old School BJJ." His name is William R Cannon and claims training under Raul Riberio. Can anyone verify his rank?
Athough to be honest, the lack of any videos of him actively rolling is sending a shitload of warning signs.
4/26/2013 11:53pm, #30
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Richmond, VA
- Combat Cuddling