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  1. atheistmantis is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/26/2013 10:11pm

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     Style: Tang Soo Don't Retired

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit View Post
    The day you've learned the Shido ways is the day you realize that there are no Shido ways.
    So I've learned the Shido ways.
  2. atheistmantis is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/26/2013 11:14pm

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    ............Who?
    Who I am? Who I am? Who am I? Who am I is a question for the ages. That's one we're all searching for To find out who I am, who's in there, who wants to come out and go, "hey, I'm hungry." Who I am is too deep and prof... Almost... you gotta go in deep and pull...
  3. Rock Ape is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 5:03am

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What?
    "To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".

    ~Ella Wheeler
  4. atheistmantis is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 5:18am

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     Style: Tang Soo Don't Retired

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What is a horse of a different color entirely.
  5. Rock Ape is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 6:15am

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ...Who?
    "To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".

    ~Ella Wheeler
  6. Holy Moment is online now
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    Light Heavyweight

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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 9:18am

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     Style: Wrestling

    6
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    In the back of a decrepit adult video trailer rusting on the periphery of the Englishtown Auction in Manalapan, New Jersey, a clandestine meeting takes place to decide the fate of all future PitFighters. Pacing the floor is a massive black man in an eye-patch and army jacket. His one good eye intensely darts about the interior of this filth-encrusted metal box as if his mind is plunged into some sort of deep, profound reflection.

    Greg Frazier: This is quite possibly the greatest PitFighting tournament that's ever been held. All others before it already pale in comparison, and we haven't even gotten to the main draw yet. Thaddeus! Run by me the three combatants who've won their regional qualifying matches already. I want to reinforce my elation for this event.

    Frazier's nebbish assistant, Thaddeus Killmore, consults a sheet of paper next to his typewriter and lists the names on the sheet.

    Thaddeus Killmore: Very well, Sir:

    Roy Jensen, renegade shootfighter and crab fisherman.

    Augusto Korda, Cuban SAMBO legend.

    Mr. Kabul, Afghani bodybuilder and jiu-jitsu fighter.

    Fighting today at 3:00 p.m is "Triple C" Cletus Clem Couture, a former gimmick wrestler for the WWF back in the early 90's. His schtick was that he was an inbred farmhand who stuck his dick in goats and threw buckets of chemical fertilizer into the audience. Sources tell us that he was a formidible backstage scrapper and has had great success wrestling cows in the years since his retirement from wrestling, ala Matt Hamill. His opponent was supposed to be "Jewey" Joshua Rosenbloom-

    Frazier cuts Killmore off.

    Greg Frazier: "Supposed to be?" Don't tell me someone welched on a PitFighting contract. People should know by now what we do to little punk ass fools who get cold feet. Once you give your word that you're gonna fight, you better fuckin' step up. This isn't Bullshido. Ain't nobody got time to reschedule a Gong Sau.

    Thaddeus Killmore: Oh, he's still fighting, Sir... Just not as a man. You see, he got a gender change and now goes by the name "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom. I hope that's ok because both fighters should already be on their way to the Middlsex County College swimming pool to duke-

    Frazier cuts Killmore off again.

    Greg Frazier: Oh, he just ripped his dick off is all? That's fine and dandy by me. I don't care what any of our little shitboat fans think, UNDERGROUND PITFIGHTING is an equal opportunity employer. Let the fights begin!



    Regional Qualifying Match #4

    In a manner similiar to PitFighting Chancellor Greg Frazier, "Triple C" Cletus Clem Couture tensely paces across the moist floor tiles behind the diving board of the Middlesex County College swimming pool. He knows not who is opponent is. Every shirtless frat boy who scuttles by him he watches with caution, wary that the fight is liable to begin without his knowledge or consent. As he twirls his graying beard around and plucks at the suspenders of his tattered overalls, he ponders if his years wrestling animals and training full-contact point karate will really help him now. He's been getting up there in age for a while, and it's been a long time since he's had a real all-out fight. The drive for combat is like the drive for sex, however. It doesn't matter how little he brings to the table. He'll still get in there and do it even if he doesn't last very long.

    Without warning, something catches Couture's attention that completely knocks him for a loop: A tall, statuesque brunette with a bitchin' physique coming RIGHT TOWARDS HIM from across the pool. His mind just totally draws a blank as he watches this bikini-clad Aphrodite swagger his way, looking him dead in the eyes all the while. As she gets closer Couture notices her face is a little rugged, but that don't bother him none. The body is the only thing you really ever need, ain't it? He shoots her a bemused smile as she stops in her tracks and gives him the once over.


    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: Yeah, you seem to fit the bill.

    "Triple C" Cletus Clem Couture: I do? For what?

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: You're Cletus Clem couture, are you not? Hiya. I'm Judy, the woman who will be crushing all of your PitFighting aspirations.

    "Triple C" Cletus Clem Couture: The ****? But Frazier told me I was fighting a guy named Josh!

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: I WAS Josh, honey. That was before the operation.

    Couture's erection rapidly deflates.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: Now I'm a woman, and I'm here to prove you chauvinist male pigs do not have the right to claim yourselves as members of "the stronger sex." Brace yourself, big fella, because you're about get the ass whooping of a lifetime from a kike, tranny MMA fighter!

    While Couture is still trying to process everything that's going on, Rosenbloom blitzes him with a massive five punch combination and sends him rocketing to the ground with a knee. The grizzled farmboy coughs as the blood and false teeth clogging his airway gurgle at the back of his throat. He doesn't have time to react before the chiseled nouveau-woman grabs him by the testicles and slides him across the wet tiles head first into benches along the wall. The gash that's ripped open on his forehead leaks profusely, turning his formerly gray beard crimson red.

    Couture manages to get his bearings back before Rosenbloom can leap on him again. He knows he needs to react, to fight automatically in order to survive. Just as "Jewey" Judy is about to soccer kick his head clean off, he springs up and latches a bear hug on her taut, ironlike torso. Lifting her above the ground, he unleashes a hellish war cry and runs her straight across the side of the pool Matt Hughes style. With the force of a bull, he rams her through the solid oak door of the utility closet and drives her into the jagged metal shelves beyond. An avalanche of wood chuncks and cleaning supplies pour onto the molded tiles outside.


    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: Hahahaha! You fight like a much younger man! But now it's my turn again, sweety!

    Couture's face turns beet red as Rosenbloom's steel grip seizes his throat. Hoisting him above the floor as he did to her, she hurls him a clean ten feet outside of the closet. Moments later she steps out herself, fussily plucking the debris from her wavy black hair. Before Couture can properly regain his footing, Rosenbloom knocks him to the ground again and straddles his wide girth with her firm, diesel legs.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: Let's stop fucking around. I saw how you were looking at me before. We both know what you want.

    Rosenbloom sticks out her tongue, and it's fucking enormous. Couture struggles mightily as she begins to bring her lips closer to his.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: You want this.

    He does. Couture tries pushing her head away, but it's no good. She's getting lower.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: You want this.

    He does. Rosenbloom has pinned his wrists to the floor now, but he still tries to escape.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: You want this.

    He does. There's nothing he can do to stop her, the tip of her tongue is already forcing its way inside of his mouth.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: You want this.

    He gives in. The two passionately kiss on the ground next to the pool as several college students cheer them on from the sidelines. This is the best moment of Cletus Clem Couture's life. He revels in this woman's overwhelming strength, her utter dominance of his will. He's just about to give a premature emission when Rosenbloom spontaneously unhooks her lips from his and let's out a shrill, cruel laugh.

    "Jewey" Judith Rosenbloom: Hahahahaha! Sorry, honey, but you're not my type!

    Heaving him above the floor by his groin and neck in a gorilla press, Rosenbloom bodyslams Couture into the deep end of the Olympic-sized swimming pool. Chlorine lights his eyes on fire as he struggles to make it to the surface, but his well-muscled adversary has other plans for him. Leaping onto his shoulders, she keeps the grizzled ex-wrestler's head beneath the surface and refuses to let him up. Couture grapples for her groin, trying to find any remnants of a penis to attack, but it's no use. His world slowly turns to black...

    Minutes later, after Rosenbloom is confident she has her man finished off, she steps out of the pool and takes the camera off its tripod. Wrapping a towel around her now bottomless waist, she swaggers back into the girls' lockerroom and changes into her street clothes before heading over to the cafeteria to harass some unsuspecting, horny twenty-something dudes. Couture, meanwhile, is pulled out of the deep end by the pool's lone, chubby lifeguard. A spark of life still lingering in him, he vomits the water from his lungs and feebly staggers to his feet. Although his body is beaten and weak, his spirit is aflame. He could kill right now... He could fucking kill. And once he gets back in shape, that bitch will be toast.
    Last edited by Holy Moment; 4/27/2013 9:33am at .
  7. Rock Ape is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 9:29am

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    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    When?
    "To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".

    ~Ella Wheeler
  8. bobyclumsyninja is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 10:17am

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     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    http://www.mmafighting.com/2013/4/26...lgbt-community

    "I know there are people who look up to UFC athletes and I let them and myself down by setting a very poor example," Mitrione said. "I also want to apologize to Lorenzo Fertitta, Dana White and everyone associated with the UFC. Anyone can say, `I'm sorry,' to get themselves out of trouble. That's not the kind of person I want to be. I am embarrassed I chose to express myself in such a fashion and am looking forward to living up to this apology through my future actions, words and conduct."
  9. DarkPhoenix is offline
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    I feel like you eyeballin' me, dawg!

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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 1:15pm


     Style: Judo, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    Wall of text

    Pushups! Many, many pushups!
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    BJJ JOE: I'm going to make hate to you. Right here, right now.
    ... Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to make hate to you so hard that your kinfolk back in Africa will feel it.l
    Quote Originally Posted by Archer
    Karate is the Dane Cook of martial arts
  10. Rock Ape is offline
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    Watch and Shoot !

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    Posted On:
    4/27/2013 1:21pm

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    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Where ?
    "To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".

    ~Ella Wheeler

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